Out of Control
by Letmesignxx
Summary: Draco finds himself struggling to succeed in his task to kill Dumbledore and suddenly starts to question everything around him; his task, his beliefs and feelings as he is forced to spend time with Hermione Granger. 6th year AU
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

* * *

_____No, I'm not the man I used to be lately,  
see you met me at an interesting time.  
And if my past is any sign of your future,  
you should be warned before I let you inside._  


_(John Mayer - I don't trust myself)_

* * *

The huge mahogany doors opened silently, the only sounds audible were the steps of Draco as he marched down the cold corridor, the door opening as he and his followers approached. Tiny puffs of dust emerged from the ground while his mind was troubled with his mother he had just left behind. Never in his life before had he seen her shed as much as one teardrop but the last image left him speechless, devastated. She had been sitting in her chair next to the fireplace in her living room, hunched forward and the usual pride she was wearing was gone, instead she was shaking while silent sobs bubbled from her chest.

"I wish I knew what to do, Draco," she had finally whispered and squeezed his hand as he had kneed down infront of her, trying to comfort her.

"I know that this is because of your father, his failure at the Ministry," she had continued, whispering so quietly that Draco hadn't been sure if she forgot about his presence.

"But you are just a boy - Bellatrix is so full of joy and appreciation. Of course she is, I know she would have loved to give her own son if she had one." Her eyes had narrowed at the thought about her sister.

Draco had brought his hand up to place it over his mother's, his thumb stroking softly over her skin. His throat had tightened, his mouth had felt too dry to say anything.

"Everything...will be fine," he had finally chocked out and looked up, his eyes wandering over her face. "Aunt Bella has a plan and it will work."

_'It has to work,'_ he had added in his thoughts.

"I know," his mother had admitted and brushed her hand affectionately over Draco's head. She had ruffled his hair, as if they had been at some other place, some other time. Other circumstances which wouldn't threaten their lives. "Everything will be alright, we'll be a happy family again," she had whispered, her voice lethargical. Leaning forward she had wrapped her arms around Draco, pulling him close to her. Almost clinging to him. It had been the moment where she had let go of her manners, all of her walls had fallen down and allowed herself to cry; cry harder than she had never cried before.

* * *

Draco had felt movement on the other side of the room as someone had entered, clearing his throat obnoxiously to get their attention.

"It's time," Draco had heard the man say and he had rose from the ground, his mother slowly getting to her feet herself.

"Be careful. Be strong," had been her last words as she had embraced him in an awkward embrace. Not knowing when they would see each other again, Draco had stared at her for a long moment before he had turned around and followed the man who's name he didn't know.

Draco snapped out of his reverie as the progression suddenly stopped infront of a room, he didn't recognize. It had been years since he last walked through the halls of Lestrange Manor and this corridor wasn't familiar to him.

He looked behind him at the two man who brought him here and cocked an eyebrow.

"Is there any magic word I have to say? Open Sesame maybe?" he asked, trying to contain a chuckle.

"I'd like to wipe that smirk right off your face, Malfoy. Unfortunately, this will be someone else's pleasure," he mused and with a flick of his wand he opened the door and beckoned him to enter.

* * *

Draco found himself in a dark room, the light inside was quite muted. The only source of light was coming from an illuminated wand, long and pale fingers were holding it up. Squinting his eyes he recognized the Dark Lord seated in an antique wing chair, an almost innocent smile carved on his face.

"Come closer, my fellow. Come here," he said and Draco forced himself to walk toward him, every cell in his body screaming and demanding him to turn around.

"Master," he heard himself say, his voice sounded oddly high-pitched. His father had once taught him lessons about how to behave infront of the Dark Lord and he was grateful that he could remember them all. For all he knew the Dark Lord didn't appreciate disrespect.

As he reached the chair he took a slow bow, his gaze dancing across the wodden floor, petrified to meet his master's gaze.

"Well well, I've heard that your mother and aunt already introduced you to your new...task, didn't they?" he asked, not awaiting an answer. He continued immediately.

"I'm delighted to hear that you want to prove yourself to me, Draco. I granted you this wish with the kindness of my heart. You shall get your chance now," he explained and Draco noticed the lack of kindness in those words. The Dark Lord wasn't capable of kindness, his mother had taught him that already. He didn't allow his face to show any emotion as he spoke.

"I won't disappoint you, Master," he said clearly and the Dark Lord's smirk broadened.

"Our new regime will rise and you, Draco, are the key to it. You must not disappoint me." He stood up and held his left hand out and grabbed Draco's wrist, drawing him closer. Silently, Draco's sleeve rolled up and bared his forearm, his veins drawing smooth lines like cob web.

The tip of the Dark Lord's wand touched his cold skin, almost tenderly.

"Welcome to your new _family_," he whispered.

Outside the two Deatheaters heard Draco's screams as he received the Dark Mark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Six months later**

* * *

Draco was fighting his way through the crowd of students heading to dinner in the Great Hall. As he reached the dungeons, the flood of people had decreased and soon he found himself alone.

_'What could he possibly want from me again?'_ he thought and came to a halt infront of Snape's office.

In the past six months Snape had been constantly behind him, breathing down his neck to offer him help and guidance in his task. Every single time he had declined. He had stopped trusting his teacher a long time ago already, his patience was slowly wearing off. But then again, what could he possibly do against it? Against Snape?

Sighing, he knocked against the office door and entered as he heard Snape call "Come in!" His eyes scanned the familiar room, Draco had been in here more times than he could remember. Infront of him, behind his desk, sat Severus Snape who beckoned him to have a seat. Reluctantly he walked toward him and sat down, folding his fingers in his lap. He locked his eyes with a point at the wall behind Snape, not bothering to say something. He felt his teacher watch him warily until he finally chimed in.

"I see that you are still as arrogant as you always were, Draco," he began and grinned smugly. "The incident with Ms Bell has been taken care of, no one suspects you anymore. As I told you already, I am willing to help you. And you know as much as I do that you need help."

"I don't want your help," Draco muttered under his breath.

"It doesn't really matter what you want. You are aware of the fact that I made an oath to your mother, aren't you?"

Draco gave a short nod.

"Then you should know that you have no other choices but letting me help you, Draco," he continued. "I will not risk breaking the Vow because of your stubbornness."

As Draco didn't reply, Snape got to his feet and began pacing up and down behind his desk. "You ought to know better than dismissing my help. It won't be from any advantage for you or your mother if you continue with your behavior. I will no longer put up with your daredevilry."

Draco's eyes followed Snape's movements, his mouth twisted to a thin line as he tried to control his anger, his hands clenching to fists.

"Leave her out of this!" he breathed out and stared at the man infront of him.

"Oh I am. By offering you help, even doing your dirty work, I am assuring that she remains safe. Isn't that what you want?"

"Of course," he snapped and jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over. "That's the reason why I'm doing this to begin with. You know that he will kill me and my parents if I fail. My dad is as good as dead in Askaban, I am taking care of my mother now."

"I know how you must be feeling -"

"You know nothing. NOTHING!" he yelled, his chest heaving rapidly as he gasped for air. "You have no idea what it's like...fearing for your life. Every minute of every day."

Snape sighed, a sound Draco hadn't heard from him before. "Again, you are wrong. Let me tell you one thing, Draco. I know exactly what it's like to fear for my life."

Draco narrowed his eyes and looked at his teacher, really looked at him and noticed a flicker of pain and loss wash over the man's face. Slowly he bent down and picked his chair up, placing it back infront of the desk to sit down.

Snape nodded at him, seeming to be glad that Draco was finally listening. He held onto his own chair, almost as to keep balance. He looked older, as if he had just aged twenty years, Draco noticed.

"First, you will come to my office once a week and tell me if you made any progress. I will do my best to help you with my knowledge about the Dark Arts, but also about Defense against the Dark Arts. Yes, also defense against it," he added as Draco shot him a questioning glance.

"First thing I want you to learn how to conjure a Patronus and have it deliver messages, a quite helpful charm when you are in danger and need me. Alas, Professor Dumbledore has an eye on my every move, I cannot teach you myself. I found someone who will teach you, he should be here any minute."

Draco's mouth opened in shock, his head shaking quickly. He knew that the Order of the Phoenix used the Patronus to deliver messages and that only some were able to conjure a Patronus at all. A face appeared in his mind, making him send an arrow prayer to Heaven.

_'Please, don't let it be - '_

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door, his head snapped back to watch it open as the visitor entered.

"You got to be kidding me," he exlaimed and stared into the face of a surprised Harry Potter.

* * *

**This is not going to be a Drarry fanfic, so don't be disappointed to see Harry here. Our beloved Granger will appear soon ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Harry's hand tightened around the piece of parchment he had just received as he had sat down for dinner while Professor McGonagall had come rushing by, her mouth a thin line. Clearly, she hadn't approved of delivering a message. With a frown across his forehead he had read the note : Snape requested his immediate presence in his office.

_'What did I do this time?'_, he thought with a grumble and rose to his feet, mouthing a quick "Snape wants to see me" at Hermione and Ron before he started down the Great Hall. The luxurious scent of dinner played around his nostrils and triggered his hunger, after an exhausting day stuffed with Quidditch training he had been excited for dinner. The feeling of excitement vanished quickly as he reached the Dungeons and saw Snape's office door. He hoped this would be over soon, he'd rather get another step closer to revealing Voldemort's secret with Dumbledore than spend the evening with Snape for whatever reason.

His face turned into a mask of astonishment as he entered the Office, seeing Draco sit on the chair infront of the desk. He looked exactly like Harry felt. Flabbergasted.

Harry cleared his throat and waved the piece of parchment at Malfoy, unable to find his voice. He was trapped in Snape's office with the two people he hated the most.

_'Brilliant,' _he thought and closed the door behind him, trying to put off the moment Snape would approach him.

"I see you got my message," he began and Harry raised an eyebrow as he stepped next to Malfoy.

_'Or else I wouldn't be here, I reckon,' _he was about to say but instead he gave a light nod.

"I ordered you here because you are requested to teach Mr Malfoy how to conjure a Patronus. I'd do it myself but...oh the responsibilities of being a teacher", he mused and smirked. Harry felt like throwing up instead.

"Can't someone else do it? I mean...why me?" he asked and gave Malfoy a short sideglance. He hadn't opened his mouth again since he had entered. He couldn't possibly agree to this farce.

"I'm afraid there isn't someone else to do it. Personally, I'd chose anyone but you, Potter. But unfortunately, the '_Chosen One' _isn't only capable of conjuring a Patronus but also capable of teaching others how", Snape continued and drew his chair back to sit down. Harry's eyebrow's went up as Snape called him the Chosen One. Sarcasm and dislike were audible in every syllable.

"But -" he began and shoved Draco a little, trying to snap him out of his thoughts and get him to finally say something. "You can't possibly be fine with this, Malfoy."

Draco stared at the spot on his shoulder where Potter had touched him and slowly raised his head to meet his eyes as he spoke.

"I wouldn't call it _'fine'_ ,Potter. I do what I have to do. I reckon you do the same. We don't always have a choice," he stated and got to his feet. "I assume we are done here, Professor?" he asked and walked toward the door. He reached out for the doorknob as he spoke again, not bothering to turn around and look at Potter. "Let me know when you have time to...teach me", he spat out and opened the door quickly.

Harry starred baffled at the door and turned back to Snape. Draco had seemed different, his infamous smirk had been more like a mask on his face, as if he had to force himself. Also, he looked exhausted with a hint of despair in his light eyes.

Shaking his head at his own train of thoughts he approached Snape and asked "And this is necessary because?"

Snape who had stared after Malfoy just as Harry had done, turned his head to look at him with a frown, his left eyebrow risen. "It serves the Greater Good, Potter," was all he said and turned his head down toward an essay sprawled out on his desk, clearly dismissing him.

Harry didn't have the slightest clue what he meant but marched out of the door as quickly as possible, urgent to find Ron and Hermione.

* * *

"You got to be kidding me!", Ron said so loudly that Crookshanks shot a wary glance at him and trotted away from them to roll up infront of the fireplace.

Harry had missed dinner completely but Hermione hadn't forgotten about him. As soon as he had entered the Common Room she had handed him a bag full of sandwiches. With a thankful smile he had sat down on his favorite squashy armchair and told them everything about the meeting.

"You said that already, Ronald," Hermione reminded him and looked back at Harry. "I'm not sure why you have to do that. Snape clearly knows that you and Malfoy don't get along."

"Exactly," Harry said and took another bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly as he tried to order his thoughts. "If a teacher can't do it, he could have chosen anyone. I mean, I taught you how to conjure it in our DA lessons."

Hermione wrinkled her nose and tapped her quill against the table. "I think that's the key point. We know how to conjure one but you taught us, after all. You have potential to be a teacher, Harry."

Harry's eys widened at her remark, he must have misunderstood her. "Teacher? Really now?" he asked and shook his head. "You know I want to become an Auror, I don't want to deal with school stuff all the time. I'm not you, Hermione." Ron laughed quietly.

Rolling her brown eyes, she shook her head at him and forced her attention back to her work. He stuffed the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth and sank back into his chair, propping his feet up on the table.

"Listen, mate," Ron finally said and locked his eyes with him. "As much as I hate to admit it but Malfoy's right. You don't have a choice about it. Go talk to him tomorrow and tell him to meet you tomorrow after dinner, remember that Dumbledore canceled your appointment."

Harry grunted barely audible, he was still ill-humoured about the owl earlier that day which had sent him a note from Dumbledore with his apologies. Apparently he was leaving Hogwarts Castle tonight.

"Stop pouting already," Hermione said gently and pushed his bag at him. "You'd do a better job concentrating on your homework, Harry."

Harry threw his hands up in defense and reached for his bag, his thoughts everywhere but Potions.

* * *

Draco was sprawled out on his bed, the boys dormitory completely emptied. Being him secured him certain privileges, he could have the room for himself whenever he wanted. With just a snap of his finger or even a meaningful look.

Staring up at his bed's canopy, he recalled his conversation with Snape over and over again.

_'I know exactly what it's like to fear for my life,' _he had said. As far as Draco was concerned, Snape seemed to be the only person he knew who was safe. After all, he seemed to be somehow the Dark Lord's favorite.

_'To fear for my life.'_

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed he got up and grabbed his trunk, rummaging inside of it until he found what he had been looking for, hidden under old pajamas. He sat back on his bed and brushed his finger lightly over the surface of the photograph showing his parents. It had been taken in their salon years ago.

It told a story full of glory, pride and might. Little to less was left from that, his mother was now only a shadow of her former self. She smiled sadly up at her son as he gripped the photograph tighter, almost crunching it.

"I'll protect you, no matter what," he whispered and brushed his finger over her face one last time.


	4. Chapter 4

_Screams echoed from the walls. Tearing at his heart. He had to run before it was too late, before she would be gone. Reaching the end of the room blood splattered everywhere, hitting his face. He had no time to wipe it off. He fell to the ground, darkness surrounding him as his breath caught in his lungs. No scream would escape from his lips. Clouds falling off the sky, embracing his loss._

Draco struggled within his sheets, fighting his way back to consciousness. As he awoke, he turned over one side of the bed and vomited, until there was nothing left to spit out.

Slowly, he brushed the back of his hand across his mouth, tasting acid. The fabric of his shirt clung tightly to his wet back, covered in sweat.

Great, he was haunted by another nightmare. This day could only get worse.

He let the reminders of the incident disappear with his wand, trying to fight the nausea. With a deep grunt he stood up and reached for his glass of water, swallowing, devouring the cold fluid running down his throat.

Every single night it was the same, he'd roll around in his bed and try to get his mind to rest, trying to allow his aching body to recover. And every single night he'd wake up in the middle of the night, shaking from his dreams.

Draco stared out of the window, watching the nightsky shine with broad stars. His aching muscles started to relax and he noticed the dark circles under his eyes as he saw his own reflection. He couldn't even remember the last time he had slept more than four hours a night.

He was wearing thin, constantly on edge. Trapped inside of his own mind. If only he'd finally manage to succeed in his plans, to get closer to Dumbledore.

_'Dumbledore,'_ he thought and the elderly man appeared inside of his mind. His ice-blue eyes gazing deeply into his own, reading him.

_Why can't you see that I am supposed to kill you? Why can't you run, hide and spare me of this task? Why me?_

Draco slumped back on his bed, gripping his sheets he pulled them over his face, covering himself in darkness. Hiding himself from the world.

* * *

Draco hadn't been able to find back to sleep, his mind was too consumed with his worries; thoughts about his mother; his father and Dumbledore.

He forced himself out of bed and got dressed as his stomach growled loudly and reminded him that he hadn't had dinner last night. Once out of Snape's office he had gone straight to bed, eager to drown his thoughts in sleep which wouldn't come.

Baring his Dark Mark as he pulled his shirt off, his eyes narrowed and he brushed his pale finger across his skin below it. The pain was long gone, had only lingered there for a few seconds after he got his mark. The pain inside had stayed ever since.

He didn't deign himself to look at it for another second, grumbling he pulled a fresh long-sleeved shirt on, hiding the Dark Mark momentarily. Watching himself inside of the mirror, he brushed his hand through his light hair in an attempt to make himself look less tired, more appropriate. The long hours inside of The Room of Requirement had their effect on him, he was paler than usual and gave his face, especially his eyes, a constant expression of being hounded.

_As if i need another reminder that I am running out of time._

He stared at his reflexion for a long moment, his heartbeat accelerating as his mind wandered to his task again. His last attempt to send an object to Burgin and Burkes had failed, apparently he was only able to use it to vanish to London, so far nothing would come back. He had spent plenty of time in the library so far, more time than he would like to admit; trying to find a way to fix the blockade. Before he would dare step inside of the Cabinet himself and activate it, he had to be sure it would bring him back to Hogwarts safely.

Suddenly, his reflection seemed to change. A smirk appeared on the mirror, a smirk which wouldn't cross his own features. Reaching his hand out he touched the cold surface of the mirror, the smirk not vanishing. He nearly jumped as he heard a whisper, quiet as a breeze. The hair on the back of his neck began to rise immediately.

_'You are nothing. You will lose. You will lose.'_

Horrified, Draco turned around only to see that he was still alone. Very slowly, his hand ready to reach for his wand and cast a spell, he turned back toward the mirror again and stared at his reflection, the smirk growing wider and wider until his mouth parted and laughed; a cold, cruel laugh.

There was a sudden sound - the sound of shattering—and a sudden spray of broken glass like a shower of cliffy stars. Draco stared down at his left hand, his knuckles ripped open and covered with crimson drops of blood, slowly splattering down on the floor.

* * *

Harry opened his mouth to shove a spoonfull of cereals into it as Hermione poked her elbow into his ribs, leaving him choke on his cereals.

"Blimey, Hermione!" he groaned and stared at her, her eyes focused on the entry to the Hall.

"Malfoy," she explained and pointed at him as Harry turned around. He gazed over the crowd and saw how Draco sat down between Zabini Blaise and Theodore Nott. He leaned clearly over his food, not answering as Blaise said something to him

"Go talk to him now," Hermione said and turned back to her Daily Prophet, reading an article called 'Muggles not as stupid as we think, says Ministry Report'.

Reluctantly, he got up and marched over to the Slytherin table, aware that eyes followed his moves. Hateful glances met him as he stopped and cleared his throat, answered by a low grunt from Malfoy. He felt oddly reminded of his uncle.

Figuring not everybody had to know that they were forced to spend time together, he began "I need to talk to you, Malfoy. In private."

Blaise's head snapped up, staring wide-eyed at him.

"I'm eating, scar-head," Draco snarled, still not looking at him.

"Last night I was about to eat too when Snape ordered me into his office, if you remember," he explained impatiently.

Both Blaise and Nott watched them curiously, it seemed like Malfoy hadn't told them about the conversation in Snape's office.

"For god's sake - ", Draco groaned and stood up, his eyes glowing with fury. "I had no idea that you were so eager to see me, Potter. How must little weasel feel about that? Did you come out to her yet?"

The group burst out laughing while he ignored it with a shrug. "Let's go."

He led Draco out of the Great Hall and came to a halt infront of the Great Staircase, watching him with interest.

"I thought we might as well get over it and start tonight, you don't have any Quidditch tonight, do you?" he asked and continued as Draco didn't answer.

"I'm not sure where we could possibly do it, we can't be certain to find an empty classroom right away. So i reckon we just meet in the Room of Requirements."

A flicker went over Draco's face, his whole attitude changing. Suddenly, he seemed to be so _vulnerable._

"Yeah whatever, Potter. Let's meet there at 8.30?" he suggested and dug his hands into the pockets of his black slacks.

"Alright, now that we handled that -", he stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Leave Ginny out of this. In fact, don't mention her infront of me. Ever," he snarled and stepped back.

"I have no interest in _your_ girl, mate," he smirked and turned on his heel, heading to the Dungeons. Leaving a motionless, confused Harry behind.

* * *

Draco slammed the door shut behind him with a loud thud, leaning his back against it as he breathed slowly in and out, trying to relax. He cursed out loudly as a knock on the door interrupted him.

He stepped aside and opened it, his eyes meeting Nott's gaze. "Hm?" was all he said.

"What in Merlin's Beard was that about, Draco? Why would you meet him?", he required, folding his arms across his chest.

"It's none of your business, I hate to break it to you." He liked Nott, he seemed to be surrounded by an aura of calmness, even now when his dark brown eyes shot enraged glances at him.

"Look, just be careful, okay? I don't trust Potter."

"Yeah yeah, always," he said, tiredness washing over his body.

Nott cocked an eyebrow, watching Draco lean weakily against the doorframe. "Draco! Are you okay?", he requested and stepped closer, ready to catch him if he'd pass out.

Draco waved at him and moved, grabbing the doorknob to close the door "Just tired.", he said and shut the door. Within a second he laid across his bed, his eyes slowly slipping shut.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione stretched slowly and put her quill away, finally done with her essay. She never understood why everyone else was so great at procrastinating, she now felt so much better after finishing her work.

She shook her foot lightly to wake it up, the tickling feeling spread up her leg as her mood changed again. She was done and there was nothing else to do, her mind quickly started to drift off. As she had grown older, it had gotten easier to hide behind her books and mentally prepare herself for the war she knew was coming closer with each second. Being a muggle-born didn't exactly give her a sense of security. She should be used to it by now, she always told herself, after all those years inside of the magic world confronted with hatred, mockery and death she was expecting to be less scared, less caring. But how can you stop caring about sudden _'Mudblood' _whispers across the Great Hall when they haunted you almost every day? Infront of Harry and Ron she had learned to put a smile on her face, even tell them to just ignore it. But once night covered the Castle and silence surrounded her, she'd lay awake in her bed and dreaded the next day, the next round of torture coming from other students.

She rolled her eyes at herself as she realized that angst consumed herself once again, turning back to her work she scrambled everything together and stuffed it into her bag and with that, she threw it over her shoulder and marched out of the library, her thoughts already consumed by angst once more.

* * *

There were a few moans and grumbles bubbling from Draco's chest as he woke up and slowly rubbed his eyes. He looked over at the clock, frowning. He didn't understand how he had fallen asleep but it was the first time in something which felt like an eternity that he was actually rested. He rubbed the back of his neck until he looked at the clock once more, rising to his feet immediately.

_8.27_

Without another thought he grabbed his wand and headed out of the common room. Walking through the dungeons, he suddenly heard someone call his name.

It was Snape.

"I don't have time, Professor. I'm heading to Potter's first lesson. Just like you wanted," he chanted without turning around.

Before he could react, Snape grabbed his shoulder and led him around a corner, revealing a secret passageway hidden behind a tapestry.

"What the - " he yelped as his back hid the wall, his gray hues scanning Snape's narrowed eyes.

"Would you try to keep your voice low, Malfoy? No one has to know that we are here," he stated and released Draco, who began rubbing his shoulder.

"No need to to be so harsh," he grumbled quietly and dropped his head, examining his fingernails.

"I got a message from the Dark Lord today," Snape continued as if he wouldn't have heard what Draco had said.

"What!" Draco's head snapped up, his eyes glowing. Suddenly it seemed to be much colder around him.

"He wants to know if you are making any progress yet. You know that killing Dumbledore must be your first priority."

_Footsteps. Did I just hear someone coming?_

Draco sighed out loudly, lost for words. "I...I need more time. It's more difficult than I thought it would be..."

"You don't have more time, Draco. You need to concentrate, do you hear me?" he said and gripped Draco's shoulders once more, almost shaking him. "Don't forget why you are doing this."

"I haven't forgotten that...how could I? I am constantly reminded of it, every step I make brings me closer to the end, closer to the showdown which will decide everything."

Snape nodded lightly, almost proudly.

"Don't lose focus. As soon as Dumbledore is dead, the Ministry will fall into our hands and with this, Hogwarts will be ours, too."

"I know", he breathed out and shrugged Snape's hands off, rubbing his knuckles against his temples. The more he thought about everything, the more his head hurt.

Snape opened his mouth as to add something but he turned away and followed the hidden staircase up to the next floor.

He heard a sudden gasp and froze immediately. His hand went to his wand and slowly he grabbed the edge of the heavy tapestry, pulling it away swiftly. Infront of him stood Hermione Granger.

* * *

Hermione was lost inside of her thoughts, trusting her perfected sense of orientation to lead her back to Gryffindor Tower. As she walked around a corner, she suddenly heard some muffled voices, not far away from her. She stopped immediately and held her breath, realizing it was Malfoy and Snape. Fighting.

Almost walking on her tip-toes she walked closer to the tapestry she knew they were hiding behind and listened, only snippets of the conversation reaching her.

"...as Dumbledore is dead," she heard Snape say and she sucked in a deep breath.

"No...that can't be true" she whispered, her body shuddering. She blanked out everything else and listened more intensely. Nothing more was audible.

Her body froze as the tapestry infront of her moved and Draco's furious face appeared infront of her.

"Oh.." was all she said.

Draco quirked a brow, sending a warning glare her way. "What are you doing here, Granger?" he spat out and stepped closer.

"N-nothing," she whispered and tried to step back, her feet wouldn't listen to her. Instead her body shook violently, giving away how nervous she was.

"Did...did you hear anything?" Draco asked and took another step. He stood right in front of her now, their bodies almost touching. She could feel his hot breath in her face.

"No, I just - noticed someone was here, that's all." She swallowed hard and nodded her head slowly.

"I hope you are right, for your own good," he warned and turned away on his heels, heading up the stairs. He was almost gone as she recovered from her nausea and yelled after him, "As soon as Dumbledore is dead?"

Draco stopped mid-way and moved, faster than she thought he was capable of and rushed back to her side, almost blindingly fast. A sharp crack rushed through her head. He had shoved her against the wall so hard that the back of her head struck the hard wall behind her. His face was only inches away from hers, his eyes huge and dark.

"Don't you _ever,_" he whispered, his mouth a thin line, "ever, say anything like that to anyone or I'll kill you. I swear, I'll kill you."

Against her will she gasped, the pain in her head and her arms where he gripped her was immense. She forced herself to stare back into his eyes, her own burning as she fought her tears back. Without success. A loud sob rippled from her chest.

He blinked - as if her sound was making him wake up out of a dream - and let her go. Without another word he spun around and hurried away.

Hermione rubbed her sore arms, noticing faint fingertips on her skin where he had gripped her.

_Awesome, Hermione. Just awesome._


	6. Chapter 6

_Awesome, Draco. Just awesome._

Draco's breath came uneven and chocked as he strutted down an empty corridor. The Mudblood had heard him, what a splendid day this was turning out to be. For minutes, he just walked, his feet going from running to almost dragging his legs as he realized what had just happened. There was no way in hell, not even a slightest chance he would be able to go on with his plan to kill Dumbledore, save his mother and his own life. At this very moment she just might be running straight to Dumbledore's office to tell him what she had seen.

His hands rushed to his hair, gripping it tightly as a loud scream fought its way free from his lips.

He hadn't even given that a thought until now, he would have never guessed that someone other than Death Eaters would know about this and now Granger, the little Mudblood, would be the reason why every part of his plan crashed to pieces.

He came to a halt infront of an abandoned classroom and slipped in, kicking over a chair on his way to the near-by window. Glancing down at the ground where pieces of the chair laid splattered, he stood there for a moment, the moonlight coming through the window turned his hair even lighter, almost white. Then he moved, grabbing at the edge of an old table and lifted it, throwing it across the room. It crashed to pieces before Draco turned and reached for another chair.

* * *

Somehow Hermione made it out of the Castle and found herself close to Hagrid's. She wasn't sure how she came there - everything was a blur of hallways and stairs until she was running trough the Entrance Hall and out of it, trying to decide if she was going to throw up or not. Her stomach was roiling painfully but instead she made her steps toward Hagrid's door but turned blindly around again, unsure where to go or why she came here in the first place. Nothing seemed to matter much. It wasn't as if she was looking for someone to talk to, how would she ever explain what she had just witnessed. She knew she had to do something, anything, but she couldn't bare the thought of talking to Harry and Ron, knowing they'd be out for vengeance as soon as they would hear what Malfoy had done to her.

_There wouldn't be anything remaining of Malfoy once they were done with him._

Yet somehow, the thought was soothing her.

Without another glance at Hagrid's door, she rushed back towards the Castle.

* * *

It was late. He should try to clean the mess he had made, but he didn't feel like it. Seeing the demolished classroom made him feel almost peaceful, his inner demons quiet for once. For once, he had done something to compel his anger out of him.

Without another look at the classroom, he began walking again and made his way back down to the Dungeons, trying to ignore the fact that he had just missed his first lesson with Potter.

_Snape won't be thrilled to hear about this._

Draco didn't care, didn't want to care about Snape at this point. He had to find a way to keep Granger's mouth shut, make her believe that she hadn't heard anything. If only he was good enough to erase someone's memory or even just implant false information in someone's mind. He slowed down at that thought, a small grin toying at his lips.

_All I need is some practice._

All he had to do was find out if Granger had said anything to anyone yet and then erase her memory, possibly the memories of Potter and Weasley, too. If there were two persons in the world that the Mudblood would immediately confess to, even before talking to Dumbledore, it would be those too.

He entered their Common Room and scanned it quickly, walking over to Blaise as soon as he saw him on an armchair, talking to some girl Draco didn't know.

"Go some place," he said and stopped infront of the girl, who jumped up immediately, nodding her head in shame. He took her chair and leaned over, searching Zabini's dark eyes.

"What was that for, mate?" he asked and stared after the girl.

"I need to talk to you."

Blaise narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "I was having fun, you know."

"And I seem to care why?"

As Blaise glared, Draco couldn't help himself and smirked. After he had broken up with Pansy, he hadn't been interested in any other girl or a relationship in general, less did he care for his friend's love life. Not now, not ever.

Blaise's expression softened. "What's the matter?"

_I'm going to use a charm on you to erase your memories so I can cover my ass._

"I have difficulties with a charm and I need your help."

Blaise stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing. "You! You - are asking me for help?"

As Draco's didn't say anything, he calmed down again.

"What kind of spell is it?"

Draco shrugged. "Something for Flitwick, I have no idea what it's useful for. Do I look like I pay attention in class?"

"You know," Blaise observed "there was a time when I thought that you would be top of the class if that Mudblood wouldn't be here."

_Why is everything about that Granger girl today?_

"You're wrong," was all Draco answered. "Will you help me or not?"

Blaise's eyes pierced into his as he deliberated for a moment until he finally nodded. "You can count on me."

Draco's smirk broadened. "Let's go."

* * *

"What the bloody hell happened to you?"

Hermione threw her bag onto the floor and looked over at Ron, shrugging. "What are you talking about?"

Friends aren't always a blessing. Why did he decide to be observant for once? She sat down and leaned back against the soft pillow of the sofa in their common room, relieved to be as far away from Malfoy as possible. Well, as far as the Castle would allow it, anyway. Harry was looking rather confused and Ron was frowning; that was worse than she had expected. Now she'd have to spend time and energy she didn't have on convincing them that everything was okay.

"Look at you. You seem like you saw a giant."

Hermione smiled softly, hoping he would buy her story. "I was down in the library but I fell asleep over my books. Madam Pince woke me up, it wasn't a pleasant thing, I can tell you."

Ron's frown only deepened on his forehead as she turned toward Harry. "How was your meeting with Malfoy?"

His face darkened, his jaw was set. It seemed like Malfoy hadn't only ruined her night.

"That son of a bitch didn't show up. I waited for over an hour until I finally left," he scowled.

_"What!_ Why didn't he come? I thought Snape didn't give him another choice." Hermione's voice skipped one or two octaves.

"I have no idea, Hermione." Harry answered and narrowed his eyes. "I didn't go down to the Dungeons to confront him, let Snape deal with him."

There was a brief silence as Hermione fought to catch her breath. Then Ron broke it. "I can't wait to see Snape dealing with him."

The boys burst out laughing and Harry reached over to high-five his best friend. Hermione rolled her eyes at him as soon as they begun to daydream about the different things Snape could possibly to do him.

"I'm going to bed," she exclaimed and rose to her feet, only getting a short grunt from Ron in return. He seemed to be too consumed with his idea.

"What if Snape shoves him into one of those glass jars he has in his office? Those who are filled with jiggly, repulsive things?", he suggested.

Harry shook his head, his grin stretching across his face. "What if Snape _transforms_ him into one of those jiggly repulsive things instead?"

Their laughter followed Hermione as she left the Common Room behind and headed through the dark corridor to her private room. It was cold outside, her breath leaving her lips in crystalline clouds until she reached her room and locked the door behind her. Having her own room was about the only thing she actually enjoyed about being a Prefect.

Crossing the room she reached her closet and snatched a fresh pair of pyjamas, wincing painfully as she got undressed and the fabric of her clothes grazed over the marks on her skin. She stared down at her right arm where the mark was more dominant and touched the tip of her finger to it. She flinched. Her body was covered in scars already. One on her left knee where she had fallen from her bicycle in first grade, another one on the top part of her thigh from a fight with a Death Eater at the Ministry. A few tinier ones on her hands and arms from different classes during her time at Hogwarts. But none stinged as painfully as the fingerprint Malfoy had left on her. It wasn't so much about the force he had used when he had shoved it against the wall, she could handle that pain. It was more about how he had looked at her, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them. In that moment she knew he was capable of killing her.

She stopped and slammed the door of her closet shut and marched over to her little but extremely comfortable bed. She had to poke Crookshanks off her sheets before she could climb in and tucked the sheets neatly around her body, reaching for her book in an attempt to concentrate on anything other than Malfoy. Leaning snuggly against her pile of pillows she drew her knees up to her body and propped her book against them, flipping it open. Before she could read the first line of the new chapter, she heard a low knock on her door.

She froze. There had once been a time where Ron would sneak over from his own bedroom and come to spend time with her. She enjoyed his company, their times alone in her room, but it had been weeks since he had last visited her. After she had told him that she wasn't ready yet to go any further, to deepen their relationship, he had stopped coming.

She grabbed for her wand and climbed out of her bed, turning the lights back on as she opened the door slowly.

It was Malfoy, a grin curling up his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**I wish I could speed all of this up a little, I'm really eager to reach some later chapters but let's not be hasty and impatient ;)**

* * *

Draco felt restless and edgy and had finally sought refuge as he walked to Granger's room, he was still not sure if he would cast a succesfull spell on her but the practice with Zabini had certainly helped him make a process.

It was all so frustrating to him, the fact that he now had to take care of her and her memory instead of working on the Cabinet annoyed him to the point that he didn't care about Potter and Weasley. For now. He just hoped that if she had ended up telling them anything, he would get the chance to get close enough to them to hex them.

As she opened the door, he put an innocent smile on his face, trying to give her a feeling of safety.

She stiffened and pulled the door almost shut, trying to hide most of her body. She failed, Draco had already seen that she was ready for bed, dressed in a pyjama that was a few sizes too big for her.

"Malfoy," she said coolly, her eyes not quite focusing on him but sliding off to stare at some unknown spot past his shoulder. "What is it? You came here to kill me already?"

Draco let out a light chuckle and shook his head. "I wanted to talk to you," he replied, frowning abit as her frightened behavior. Had he really been that scary?

"I don't want to talk to you," she whispered, beginning to shut the door.

"Wait!", he growled and snuck his foot between the door and its frame. Hermione shot a glance his way. "It's important...please," he said, apologetically.

"You came to beg me?" Hermione challenged, her face softened as she grew more curious.

He ignored her question. "I want to talk to you about what happened today. What you saw."

"I know what I saw, you don't have to tell me." Her tone was cutting.

Draco flinched back from the resentment in her voice. "You have to listen."

Surprise flitted across Hermione's face as he shoved the door gently but determined open and stepped inside, ignoring the mess inside of her room.

"You think I am going to kill Dumbledore?" It wasn't really a question.

As she didn't answer, he continued. "Nobody will believe that, you know." His voice held an edge of decision now.

He paused and looked at her face, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned. "I am sorry, but I have to make sure you won't tell anyone what you saw," he sighed out.

Hermione made a gasping sound. "So it is _true_."

"It doesn't matter anymore, you'll forget all about it." He struck his hand out and whispered quietly. "Obliviate."

There was a quiet _'Oh!' _escaping from Hermione's lips, her hand rushing to her mouth as to cover it. Her expression blanked, her hazel eyes turned lighter as he erased her memory about the evening. Within seconds Draco knew that Hermione would not remember the time they saw each other, what she had heard.

He lowered his wand and Hermione shook her head slowly as if she was trying to fight off a fly circling over her head. "Where am I?" she insisted and stared at him, her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing in my room, Malfoy?"

_Oh shit._

He hadn't thought about that. He had forgotten to implant a false memory on why he was here now, he hadn't given it one single thought before. No idea would come now.

"I...- uh..." he stuttered.

She waited impatiently, tapping her foot. "Yeah?"

He needed to try harder.

"I had a question about the next prefects meeting so I came here."

Hermione's frown deepened, clearly not buying it. Stepping towards her door she opened it and waved her hand at him. "Get out of here, Malfoy." Malfoy noticed with some concern that she was shaking, though her room was coozily warm. Drops of sweat began to cover her face.

With a last glance at her face he rushed out.

* * *

Draco hurried to his room and noisily shut the door after himself, wanting to keep the world outside just for a while.

He hadn't tried hard enough.

His instincts told him that something went terribly wrong, that he had messed up.

It scared him and made him angry with himself, all at the same time.

Pacing through his room he thought about the way she had glared at him, hatred and discomfort dominating her every move. He had caught her off guard, in quite an intimate moment. He wasn't sure he had ever seen her that _delicate and fragile _before_._

Trying to pry his thoughts away from her bewildered face as he had cast the spell, he sat down at his desk. His body felt more alive and awake than it had in weeks.

From now on he had to keep an eye on her, see if she truely forgot everything, see if Potter and Weasley knew anything.

That thought didn't please him. He sat there scowling at his desk when a tap on his door caught his ear.

_Hermione._

He jumped up and paced his room with two giant steps and opened the door. It was Nott.

"I was sleeping," he grumbled and faked a yawn.

Nott raised an eyebrow and merely pointed at Draco's chest. "Sure thing, mate."

Draco looked down and realized that he was still in his school robe, no way Nott would believe him.

_I wish this day could just be over already._

"What do you want, Nott?" he asked to interrupt the silence.

Nott raised his gaze again, his eyes wandering over Draco's face, quietly examining him before he spoke again. "I saw you."

Now it was Draco's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

There was the sound of a loud sigh rushing out of Nott's lungs as his jaw tightened, his aura becoming cooler. "What did you do in Granger's room?"

Draco's eyes widened in shock. It was late at night, how could Nott have possibly been out there, watching him? _Damn it!_

He struggled with the right words. "I had a question, some prefects thing..."

"And that couldn't wait until tomorrow morning?" Theo snapped. It was the first time Draco saw him like this, usually he was calm and reserved; one of the reasons why he liked his company so much.

"I just wanted to get it over with. Besides, no one has to see that I'm in any way affiliated with Granger. Too many witnesses at breakfast."

"Hm." was all Theo said, his hand rubbing over his chin. "I don't want you to see her." he finally said.

Draco started to laugh, his familiar smirk washing over his face. "Jealous?"

There was a movement infront of Draco's eyes, too fast for him to react. His head snapped back as Nott's fist punched his face. Draco fought for balance and toppled backwards. "What the heck was that for, Nott? Are you out of your god damn mind?" he screamed, lifting his wand.

Nott took a slow step back and stared down at his fist, not sure what had just happened.

"Just stay away from her," he mumbled and turned on his heel, rushing off.

Draco stared after him, holding his knuckle to his throbbing cheekbone. His punch would certainly give him a black eye.

_Just great._

He slammed the door shut with a loud thud.

* * *

Hermione crossed her legs as she laid down on her bed, dizzyness rushing through her. She rubbed her temples, a weak groan slipping from her lips as the headache only increased. She had not the slightest clue what was wrong. After she had fallen asleep in the library she had gone straight to bed. But suddenly, Malfoy had been inside of her room, yapping away about prefect meetings.

_What's going on here?_

The bed moved beneath her, the whole room spinning. She shuddered, suddenly feeling cold and crawled under her sheets, covering herself. She curled up into a ball and rocked herself back and forth a little, her mind blanked to an extent that she hadn't even an idea where she was, what day it was or if it was nighttime. Her brain felt foggy, surreal. Some point later, she couldn't even tell her own name anymore.

Everything went black and she tried to shake the pain off, fight the nausea and dizzyness.

_What's wrong with me?_


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you coming to dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Last time I was hungry, I guess."

Hermione barely looked up from her homework as Ron bombared her with questions.

It had been a horrible night, full of blurry nightmares and headaches so painful that she had thrown up. She still felt like something was off, terribly going wrong but the more she tried to grasp it, the more her head hurt, the more she felt lost. Something was missing, she knew it.

Without another word she rose to her feet and left the common room; she had to get out, but there was nowhere she wanted to go that didn't involve a light haired boy named Draco. Somehow, she felt drawn to him, as if he was the key to her misery.

Unclear where she was heading it didn't take long till she was deeply lost inside of the Castle, no idea where she was or how she came there. The only sound she heard was the rapid beating of her heart inside of her chest, hammering against her ribcage as if it wanted to escape and leave her to die.

She walked around a corner and realized she stood in the corridor where her room was. She slowed down, a few raindrops banging against the windows on either side of her. Rushing into her room she threw herself onto her bed and forced herself to focus on the most important question she had to answer.

_What did Draco have to do with all of this?_

Well, that wasn't the most important question, she admitted. But it was the one which bothered her the most.

Almost immediately her trained mind began to work, responding with different scenarios. One sillier and more morbid than the other. She couldn't find a rational explanation for how she felt this empty, an important piece of the puzzle was missing. Glancing over at her desk she stared at her favorite quill, fighting off the temptation to make a list with different arguments.

Draco had to do _something _with it. That, she knew. Something other than magically appearing infront of her out of nowhere, of course.

So then, she realized, there was only one possible answer to her question. He was the reason why she felt that way, though she couldn't understand what he had done.

_Think Hermione, think god damn it!_

She sat back up and brushed her hair out of her face, her next steps clear inside of her head. She had to confront him, there was no other possibility as of right now.

Slowly she rose to her feet and turned toward the door but the dizzyness was back, already claiming her, calling her name, pulling her back into darkness.

* * *

Ron's eyes followed Hermione as she left the common room, staggering lightly.

_She must be ill._

Ron remembered how he had imagined that he saw her hand shake when she tried to take some notes earlier or turn a page of her book. He had shrugged it off, telling himself it was nothing. Meant nothing.

He noticed that she had left her homework on the table infront of him, homework she would usually finish inside of her room where no one would easily bother her or ask her for help. He decided within a second.

Getting up he gathered her things and rushed out, marching quickly through the corridors to reach her room. As he saw the familiar wooden door he slowed down and smiled lightly, his mood broadening immediately. Even though they had broken up, he still enjoyed their time together but he suddenly realized that this was the first time since the break up that he was actually going to her room again.

_Just to check on her, relax._

He was lying. Lying to himself just like he used to lie to his friends whenever they asked him if he was fine. In fact, he hadn't felt much since Hermione had left him. He just needed, wanted an excuse to see her now. Make her smile and admire how her face would light up, a laugh escaping her lips. A laugh that sounded sweeter than any music he knew.

He knocked at her door, more excited than he wanted to admit.

There was no response.

Knocking again, he leaned closer and listened intently, no sound reaching him.

He turned around and studied the corridor to check if there was anyone watching him before he pulled his wand out and whispered, "Alohomora."

The door clicked open and he entered her room, dropping Hermione's books with a loud thump as he saw her unconsious figure laying on the floor.

* * *

"No...leave me alone," Hermione moaned painfully.

She tried to leave the darkness behind, shaking it off with a gasp as the pain grew stronger.

Strong arms held her. "Everything's fine."

She squinted her eyes tightly shut as the ground under her moved and she was lifted off the ground, carried over to her bed. She felt the soft fabric of her pillows piercing into her spine, more painfully than pillows were allowed to be.

Opening her eyes just an inch, a head of red hair appeared in her field of vision.

_Ron!_

His arms pulled her tighter toward his body, holding her securily as her tiny frame began to shake again. He stroked over her hair.

"Try to go back to sleep, love. You just have the stomach flu...I guess," he whispered slowly.

_'No,' _she wanted to say but no sound left her lips.

"I will go get Madam Pomfrey as soon as you go to sleep, I promise."

She groaned. "No...Malfoy."

His body tensed. "I'm Ron, remember?"

"Get Malfoy, _please_," she begged, her voice panicky.

"Why Malfoy?" he inquired, leaning away from her to examine her face, worried that she might become delusional.

"I need him," she whispered softly, her eyes burning. She knew she was hurting Ron but she couldn't care, didn't care right now. She had to find out what had happened, what Malfoy had done to her. She couldn't allow herself to be considerate of Ron's dismissed feelings. He _had to_ understand. But how could he possibly understand if she didn't understand it herself?

He snorted, a sound full of disgust. "I'm not getting that prick, Hermione. Knock it off."

She forced herself to move, propping up on her elbows she tried to push herself into a sitting position. Ron's features softened and he put his hand on her shoulder, pushing her gently back down. "You need rest, Hermione. Stop pushing yourself."

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "I need Malfoy. He'll...help me."

Ron cocked an eyebrow, laughing half-heartedly. "We are talking about Malfoy, remember?"

Hermoine reached her hand out and grabbed for his wrist, her eyes gazing deeply into his as she spoke. "I know, but I really need to talk to him. Please. For _me_?" She knew it wasn't fair to use Ron's feelings to get her way but she also knew that he couldn't really say no to her.

Ron sighed, a sigh full of pain and got up slowly. Hermione mouthed a quiet "Thanks, Ron."

"Fine, I'm going. But you better explain yourself later, Hermione. I'm not going to drop this," he said, his last words ending with a warning tone.

He left and Hermione grabbed her sheets to dry the corners of her eyes while she laid back against her pillows, her eyes falling shut almost immediately.

* * *

Draco refused to leave his bed all Saturday.

Partly ashamed of showing off his black eye, partly just to be alone, he had stayed in bed all day, even dismissing another try at the Cabinet. His stomach twisted and growled painfully and he finally moved, shoving his sheets off he forced himself up. He knew he had some pumpkin pastries hidden somewhere in his drawers and he started rummaging through them until he found them in the last drawer, neatly packed. His nostrils flared up and he inhaled their scent, his mouth almost watering as he parted his lips. He stopped mid-way to his mouth, almost dropping his first pastry as he heard a knock on his door.

_Why can I never have a fucking minute for myself?_

Opening the door, his mouth parted in surprise. "Weaslebee."

"Hermione wants to see you.", he spat out and glared furiously at him, clearly disapproving.

Draco was a bit shocked at the venom in Ron's words. He tried to imagine what was going on and what was wrong Hermione, but failed to get anything more than a basic idea. He still had to surpress a gasp nontheless.

He forced himself to keep his normal attitude and smirked. "Why, aren't you able to satisfy her?"

Ron's eyes widened and he clenched his hands to fists. Draco watched him tremble with growing curiosity. "Did I hit a nerve, Weasel?"

Ron took a deep breath, trying to control his anger and shook his head slowly. "She wants to see you for god knows what reason. She isn't feeling well and she said you could help her. I told her you wouldn't." He made an attempt to turn around and walk away but Draco stopped him.

"What's wrong with her?"

He glanced over his shoulder and looked at Draco, unsure what to say. "She's sick."

Draco frowned and nodded, stepping back. So he was right. Last time he had seen Hermione, after he had cast the spell on her, she had looked fragile and sweaty, struggling to stay on her feet. He could only guess that it had something to do with his spell, that he had indeed messed up.

A flicker of pain leaped over Ron's face before he walked away and mumbled something under his breath. "Don't make me regret coming to you."

Draco wasn't sure if he had understood him right.

* * *

Only walking back into his room to grab a cloak, he rushed out and almost ran through the Dungeons and upstairs to Hermione's room. His chest heaved and sank heavily as he reached it, his bruised cheekbone throbbing painfully as his blood heated up. He knocked twice without any answer from inside. Reaching out to knock a third time, the door was opened before his knuckles touched the door.

Hermione's eyelids were sunken in, casting deep shadows under her eyes. She oddly reminded him of his own sleep-deprived and stressed out reflection. Again, she seemed to have difficulties to hold herself up.

"You came," she whispered, her voice as faint as an autumn's breeze.

"What's going on?" he asked and followed her into her room as she turned around.

"I wish you could tell me," she explained and looked at him, her eyes almost slipping shut. She drew in a sharp breath and her hand shot up to her shirt, clutching at it as a sudden pain inside of her chest emerged. Draco took a step closer, awkwardly holding his hands out.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

She held up her other hand, indicating that she needed a moment. Draco was able to count until 23 until she finally opened her eyes.

"Not really, no," she admitted and walked toward her bed. Her body made a sudden movement, her legs giving out under her. Draco jumped forward and caught her, his hands holding her lightly but firmly away from him. She felt the cold touch of a ring on his finger against her hot skin, soothing like a sliver of ice.

"Easy, Granger," he reminded her and dragged her over to her bed, immediately releasing her from his grip as she sat down safely.

She thanked him with a weak smile and craddled a pillow to her chest as she crossed her legs, clearing her throat. "I don't get it."

Draco frowned and looked at her with curiosity, a feeling of pity building up inside of him. "What are you talking about?"

Hermione looked up and examined his face as she spoke, her eyes looking for his. "I was fine yesterday. I spent most of the evening in the library and then went to bed, even though I can't remember _actually going to bed_. And then you came..." she stopped mid-sentence and shook her head. "Ever since then I feel lousy."

Draco sighed, brushing a hand through his hair as he thought of a response. "I didn't give you any cooties, Granger," he answered.

Her eyes widened at his remark, a blush creeping over her cheeks. "I would remember something like _that,_" she said, much to his surprise.

* * *

**I know, I know. I am a tease for making a break here ;) **


	9. Chapter 9

**I am not from UK or America or any other place where English is the first language. I am from Germany, hence the reason why there might be some spelling or grammar mistakes. I do my best by re-reading every chapter thousand of times before I publish it but I'm sure there are some mistakes which I don't see. So in case there is anything to find fault with, contact me and I'll take care of it. I'd actually appreciate it ;)**

* * *

The Slytherin boy raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about, Granger?"

She looked at him, _really_ looked at him, confusion written on her face. "What are _you_ talking about?"

He stared at her for a long moment, measuring his words, before he replied. "Well, I'm not sick so you couldn't have possibly caught my cooties by being in the same room with me, you know?"

Hermione's eyes went even wider and she nodded her head down, muttering something under her breath that he couldn't understand.

She bit her bottom lip and led her gaze back to his face, her own still blushing. "I thought you were talking about kissing me. That's something I would remember," she finally explained.

Draco opened his mouth to say something while his cheeks immediately became a deep red and the room seemed a few degrees warmer. "No, that didn't happen. Don't worry." He seemed to scowl at the thought.

_Looks like kissing me would be a torture for him. Yay me?_

"You and I did not kiss each other. In fact, I can't recall ever touching you before. Not until today at least," he continued and shook his head, chuckling at her. How could she possibly assume that they had kissed?

Hermione smiled back at him in return, the first smile in days. His gaze was fixed on the tiny dimples that appeared around her mouth, sending shiny bits of sparkles to her eyes which lit up immediately. He started to ask himself why he had never noticed that before.

"Oh!" said Hermione, and looked up to find Draco watching her. She cleared her throat. It wasn't until then that she actually noticed the dark shadows around Draco's eyes, his bruised cheekbone a contrast to his light skin. Without further thinking she reached her hand out and touched her fingertip very lightly to his skin. "What happened to you?"

He flinched away from her touch. It oddly hurt her.

"I had an argument," was all he said to that and looked away demonstratively, trying not to meet her eyes. He hadn't expected her to touch him, hadn't seen it coming.

Well no, he was lying to himself. He had seen it coming, wanted to embrace her touch and the only reason he had leaned away was because his bruise still stung painfully, reminding him that he had still a bone to pick with Nott.

Hermione blinked at him and caught his attention again. He noticed how a single drop of sweat ran down her forehead, landed on her bottom lip and lingered there for a moment. He scooted across the edge of the bed to sit closer to her, reaching out he touched the back of his hand to her forehead. Her skin was on fire.

_What did I do to her?_

She watched him with wary eyes and sighed out loudly as his cold hand touched her skin. She brought her own hand up and placed it on his, pinning his hand to her forehead. "You have no idea how good this feels right now," she mumbled.

_"Actually, I do," _Draco thought quietly. Yet he slowly disentangled his hand from hers and pulled it to his side. "You have a fever," he declared.

Her eyes glanced down at his hand and she shrugged, trying to hide her difficulties to breathe. "I should probably go see Madam Pomfrey." Pushing her blankets away she slid across the bed and rose to her feet delicately.

Draco was on his feet within two seconds. "No!"

Hermione turned to look at him, baffled. "You told me you have nothing to do with this."

_Even though I still have a feeling that you are connected with all of this._

He exhaled a sharp breath and whispered. "I don't."

Did Hermione just notice a flicker of guilt in his voice?

* * *

Hermione sighed, looked into her mirror and grabbed her hair brush, letting the honey colored curls fall loosely down her shoulders as she brushed her hair. Draco watched silently, for some reason, mesmerized.

"Where are you going?" he asked finally.

She glared at his reflection in her mirror. "Still to Madam Pomfrey."

Slowly he walked over and stood behind her, his hand reaching up to snatch her hair brush out of her hand. He shook his head. "You can't go."

Turning around quickly she poked her finger against his chest, accusingly. "You can't tell me what to do, Malfoy. Not you."

His light hues wandered over her face before he grabbed at her wrists and pulled her arms down against her sides. This time his touch wouldn't leave any marks, it was more gentle than she had expected.

"You are not going, Granger. You can hardly walk." He was wondering if he was making her uncomfortable with the staring, but he didn't seem to be able to stop, nor did she seem to notice. The determination that radiated off of her was almost touchable.

"To hell with you!" she yelled and bumped her shoulder into his to get him out of her way, the collision of their bodies making her stumble. He put a hand out to steady her in the same moment she stopped to grab a hold onto the back of her chair, the nausea suddenly rushing rapidly through her veins. She had been fine since Draco had come, the distraction of talking to him had made her almost forget the nausea, the dizziness, the whole world around her. Right now, it had all come back with immense force.

Draco fixed his eyes on Hermione's back, watching her body tremble as she fought for composure. Without realizing, without thinking he stepped forward and Hermione suddenly felt how his arms wrapped around her shoulders, imprisoning her in the circle of his arms. She shut her eyes.

_"Go away,_" she breathed out.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into her hair and held her securily.

She began to struggle within his grip but he only tightened his arms around her, pulling her even closer. "Have you ever heard that if someone hyperventilates you are supposed to hug them?", he said in a casual tone, as if he was pointing out what kind of weather it was outside. His voice was calm. "As soon as your body feels the touch, another heart beating close to yours, your own heart feels...less lonely?" His voice broke off, unsure how to put his thoughts into words. Hermione listened intently. "Your whole body relaxes and your heartbeat slows down, adjusting to your partner's."

_Did I just really call myself her partner? _

He snapped out of his thoughts and slowly dropped his arms as he felt how the atmosphere around them changed.

Very slowly, Hermione turned around to look at him with a frown stretched across her forehead. "A heart adjusts to your partner's heart?" she repeated dryly. "Where did you learn that?"

Draco took a step back and glanced down at her through his eyelashes as he dropped his gaze, his cheekbones protruding lightly. "I...I've read about in some book," he explained.

She cocked an eyebrow. "You experienced it with Pansy before, didn't you?" she suggested.

His mouth dropped and he stared at her in confusion. "Why would you say that?"

Hermione waved her hand, a gesture to show how obvious it was to her. "Well, you dated her for a long time. I'm sure you and her came...extremely close to each other," she replied, knowing that she didn't really want to have this kind of conversation with him. Her natural curiosity pushed that argument quickly aside.

Draco brushed his hand through his hair, avoiding her eyes. "No. Well...yes, but I don't think my heart ever felt _not lonely._"

_Bloody hell. Just shut the fuck up already before you start spilling your whole heart out to her._

She laughed half-heartedly. "The golden boy of the glorious House of Slytherin feels lonely? I have my difficulties with believing that."

"Believe whatever the hell you want, Granger. I could care less." he growled, his voice sinister. Hermione stared at him, the sudden change in his voice gave her the chills.

"Look, I -"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear it." he interrupted her immediately and turned on his heels and opened the door, rushing out quickly. He needed to get away from her, put as much distance as possible between them before he would get used to the feeling of being _vulnerable._

"Draco, wait!" Hermione shouted and ran after him. As soon as she accelerated her steps and the blood rushed rapidly through her body, she could how cold sweat ran down her neck, plastering locks of hair to her skin.

_Damn it, why must he be so fast!_

Forcing herself to keep going, keep running, she took two steps at once as she rushed down the flight of stairs after him. Once again, her heart beat painfully inside of her chest.

"Would you just fucking wait already?" she screamed angrily and stared at the back of his head.

It only took one second of inobservance, a fraction of a moment to miss the last step and she fell. Her body slammed heavily into the ground and she collapsed forward into blackness.

* * *

**Poor Hermione. I feel bad for what pain I put her through. I'm sure some reviews would cheer her up? xD**


	10. Chapter 10

**In one of my reviews I was told that _"it does seem a bit out of context that Draco would suddenly be there for Hermione[...]" _and I'd like to take my time to reply to this here, for everyone who agrees to this and hasn't told me so far.**

**I totally understand where you are coming from, Draco isn't the typical character who would be selfless and take care of Hermione. But I promise you that there will be a chapter where he will explain himself and the reasons behind his actions ;)**

* * *

Draco didn't turn around as Hermione's footsteps followed him, he walked faster instead. He realized that he should have left the moment she had almost collapsed in his arms, before their conversation became too private. She had absolutely no right to ask him about his feelings, his relationship to Pansy or simply ask questions in general. Who did she think she was to ask if he ever got close to Pansy? And who did he think he was to actually answer? While he paced down the stairs he made a decision: From now on he wouldn't allow those kind of conversations anymore, in fact he wouldn't ever be alone with her again. From now on he had to fully concentrate on Dumbledore again. Screw Granger.

As he heard the loud thud of her body hitting the floor he turned around and screamed her name. He had already forgotten his decision.

* * *

As fast as his feet would allow it he ran toward her and almost crumpled into her body as he dropped to the floor next to her. "Hermione," he whispered and let his eyes wander over her body, too afraid to touch her.

_What if something is broken and I'll just make it worse?_

He knew he couldn't go and get help, that would just raise uncomfortable questions. But just leaving her wasn't an option either.

_Think, Draco. Think!_

Very carefully he slid his hand to the back of her head and hauled her into a sitting position. Not until then did he notice that her hair was sticking wetly to a spot on the back of her head, a puddle of blood on the floor beneath her. Cursing he began tearing pieces of his shirt into strips and began to knot them together before he tied it under her neck. Once he was done, he slid his arms beneath her body and craddled her head to his chest and finally swung her up into his arms. He had no troubles getting up. As he made his way back to her room, she moved lightly, a groan falling from her lips that sounded like a faint whisper of a name.

"I am here," he murmured reassuringly. Tipping his head down he looked at her the moment she whispered again.

_"Ron..."_

He reached her room and laid her down into her bed, immediately turning away as if the sight of her was burning his eyes.

* * *

It was time number seven that he thanked his mother for teaching him how to take care of wounds.

Draco was sitting on her chair pretending not to look at Hermione while she was sleeping. He felt like a bloody creeper but hadn't he also learned that you should watch someone intently after an accident like this? At least, he thought this was a good excuse to look at her. Until this point he had never given much thought about the way she actually looked like, her outward appearance had never been from any interest for him, even less than her character traits. He was a Malfoy, superior to those who were born to Muggles or Bloodtraitors. So where did the sudden urge to look at her emerge from now? For hours his eyes were resting on her face already, a mask of peaceful sleep. She didn't seem to be in pain, he realized with relief. He saw with some sort of dazzled amusement that half of her face was covered by her hair, a long mane of brown curls that stroked against her skin. He resisted the urge to get up and brush it away with his fingertips.

A sudden banging on the door made him almost jump out of the chair. He knew who it was going to be before he opened the door. It was the one person Hermione wanted to see, the one person she was asking for when she had been hurt. Yet, it had been a surprise to Draco that she hadn't called his name. He was the one who had saved her after all? The thought still left a bitter taste on his tongue.

With a quick glance at Hermione to see if she woke up by the sound, he opened the door and stared at an outraged Ron. "Good morning Weasel," he smirked and leaned against the doorframe, carefully blocking Hermione's bed from Ron's view who stretched up a little to look past him and into the room.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he growled and turned his attention back to him. "I need to see Hermione."

"She's unavailable at the moment, please do not try coming for her again," Malfoy answered smugly.

Ron stared at him in disbelief. "I haven't seen her again since she asked me to come get you. That was yesterday afternoon.", he pointed out concern dripping in his voice.

"And your point is what exactly?"

"You aren't allowed to stay in Hermione's room at night."

"Says who?"

"Me...and the house rules," Ron explained angrily.

Draco pushed himself away from the doorframe and reached behind him, pulling the door shut to keep Hermione out of this. He glared at Ron. "Is that so?" he growled, his eyes darkening. "Let's see how big your chances are to actually be right, Weasel." He held his fingers up and began to sum up. "One, you aren't allowed to tell me what to do, where to stay or where to sleep." Not that he had really slept in the last 30 hours but he didn't feel indulged to tell him. He rubbed his hand across his chin, pretending to ponder over the question. "Two, you are in fact right that no student is allowed to stay anywhere but his or her own bed at night but do you have any witnesses? Can you prove that I in fact did spend my time here?" He didn't give him a chance to respond. "That's what I thought," Draco sighed out theatrically.

"Shut up!" Ron shouted.

Draco continued. "Not to mention that you spent countless nights in this room yourself, Weasel. Wouldn't you be a little hypocrite to denunciate something you enjoyed so thoroughly?" He watched with growing amusement how Ron fought for countenance.

Suddenly he held his hand out, pointing at Malfoy's shirt. "What the bloody hell happened to you?"

Draco looked down and saw that he was pointing at his shredded shirt he was still wearing, stains of blood covering his right arm. He shrugged it off. "I had a _rough _night, Weasel."

Faster than he would have given Weasley credit for he lunged forward and knocked Draco to the ground, trying to penetrate as much parts of Draco's body with his fists as possible. Draco, still sore from Nott's punch from the other day, threw his arms up to cover his face. Ron's face was hardly recognizable, uncontrollable rage was written all over it as he punched Draco's face repeatedly. Rolling to the right Draco managed to get a hold of his wand he had stuffed into his jeans pockets before he had opened the door for Ron; he snatched it and aimed at Ron, yelling. "Petrificus Totalus."

Ron's body froze in his movement, his eyes shining with anger. Draco stood up and wiped his hand across his mouth, drops of blood sticking to his knuckles. He groaned.

"You do have an excellent right hook, I've got to hand that to you," he said and stood infront of him. "But next time you touch me, I won't let you get away that easy, Weasley. Get out of my sight."

He took the spell off of him, watching Ron fall over like some animal. "Granger doesn't want to see you. Come back later, if you must."

Draco didn't look back at him as he made his way back to Hermione's room.

* * *

Light pierced through Hermione's eyelids, there was a static noise close to her, rising in pitch like the scream of a mandrake. She made a gagging noise and opened her eyes.

She way lying in her bed. Outside of her window the night sky was covered with the faint gleam of stars sprinkled across the surface. Draco was sitting in her chair across from her bed, his hair shining brighter as the moon outside. "Don't move."

Hermione turned her head to one side and was rewarded with a sharp pain that shot down her spine. She tried to sit up and gagged again, her fingers clutching at her sheets.

Draco hissed and got to his feet. "I told you not to move." He stood beside her bed and handed her something. It took all of her strength to focus her vision enough to realize that it was a glass of water. She took it without any word.

"What happened?" she said after she guzzled the water so quickly that she almost choked on it.

"You fell down a flight of stairs and hit your head pretty hard. You probably have a concussion," he explained and snatched the empty glass out of her grip to refill it. His hand's were gentle as he touched her.

She frowned at his explanation and flinched in pain. Even the simple act of frowning hurt. "And what are you doing here? In my room?" she asked and glared at him.

Draco was taken aback. "I brought you here after you fell? You were running after me and stumbled, so I took care of you. I have a thing for damsels in distress, you know," he pointed out, a sly smirk on his lips.

Hermione shot a furious glare at him. "I am no damsel in distress, Malfoy."

He cocked an eyebrow and held up a hand. "Hold on a second. Isn't this supposed to be the moment where you throw yourself at me and declare your undying and eternal gratitude because I saved your life?" He couldn't help the bitterness in his voice.

She tried to deliberate the impossibilities he described, trying to take it in. He waited impatiently.

"Why would I follow you?" she asked, finally interrupting the silence.

"I guess you wanted to apologize for your behavior?" His eyes burnt into hers, forcing her to pry her gaze away from him as she answered.

"I suppose you are right," she mumbled and fidgeted with a hole in her sleeve. She felt hungover, even though she had never been drunk before. A Butterbeer here maybe, a glass of Firewhiskey there, but she had never crossed the line. Not until now at least where her head felt like it was about to explode, her tongue covered with a fuzzy taste of bitterness. The whole weekend was a complete blur to her.

_So this is what a blackout feels like? What the hell did I drink lately?_

"You suppose?" he hissed and sat down on the edge of the bed, wincing lightly as his body bent. He guessed that a rib or two was partially fractured. Hermione looked back at him and noticed how his face was covered in cuts and bruises, his lips were a swollen mess. Draco felt slightly uncomfortable from the force of her stare. "That's all you got to say about this?"

"About _what_?" she asked, angrily.

_"The golden boy of the glorious House of Slytherin feels lonely? I have my difficulties with believing that," _he quoted and her expression changed to sheer indifference.

"I don't know why I would have to apologize for that," she said matter-of-factly.

"You don't know why?" Draco yelled and jumped to his feet again within a blink of her eyes. She was startled. "I've been fucking taking care of you for the last god damn twenty-four hours, got beaten up by Nott and your precious little pet for even talking to you. God forbid me, if I would have actually touched you, Weasley might have beaten me to death if he found out. And there you are, acting like you fucking know me. You don't know a god damn thing, Granger. You have no right to judge me because I'm a Slytherin. Did it ever cross your god damned mind that we have feelings too? Hm?" His breath came out in rushed gasps, his sudden outrage sent impulses of adrenaline through his veins.

Hermione's mouth was wide-open, she hadn't realized that she was holding her breath. "Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. I can't really remember anything," she explained and looked apologetically at him. "You didn't get me drunk, did you?"

Draco looked at her as if she had just slapped him. "Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't do anything to you, Granger."

_Apart from casting a spell on you that went so terribly wrong that I got you sick, of course._

"Then tell me why is it that I feel like someone used my head to try a hammer out? I have no bloody clue what happened within the past twenty-four hours and you expect me to just believe you when you tell me you didn't do anything?" she snapped and threw the blankets away to get up.

"Stay in bed, god damn it," he hissed and pushed her back down, sitting back on the edge of the bed he placed his arms on either side of her, leaving her no escape. He was so close to her now that his warm breath caressed her skin as it hit her, his eyes piercing into hers. "Can't you just thank me and shut up?" he asked quietly.

"You wish," she answered stubbornly and reached out to grab his chin, ignoring his whimper as she turned his face from one side to another, her eyebrows raised up. "Ron did this to you, you say?"

He let out a sharp breath and slowly leaned away, pulling his arms back. "He was here this morning...while you were sleeping. He wanted to check on you and was trying to blackmail me for staying here the whole night," he began to explain and avoided looking at her. He seemed to be really interested in his fingernails at this moment. "He didn't like my comeback so he attacked me. No worries, I didn't really hurt him," he added, as a matter of fact.

"You look like a mess."

"Would you like to send Weasley some flowers for beating me up?" he asked, bitterly.

She pulled her eyebrows together, her whole body stiffened at his remark. He suddenly remembered the day in Diagon Alley where he had seen her with a black eye and offered to do the same to the person who had given it to her, making him think about the wonders and irony of déjà vu. He knew she remembered too.

Steely gray eyes scanned her face, looking for an answer.

"Why?" she whispered, her voice suddenly stuck in her throat.

He looked back at her, his gaze steady and his body shaking slightly from the cold atmosphere. "You tell me."

She closed her eyes and sighed in defeat. "I do not feel any amusement from the pain of others. I'm not you." She forced her eyes to open again and was regarded with a hateful glare. She wish she had bitten her tongue.

"You are not me, that's right. And this is exactly why you will never understand me, Granger. We are too different," he croaked quietly, his mouth a thin line.

She could almost swear there was a tinge of despair somewhere in that reply.

"Draco, I...-"

He shook his head and got up, grabbing his cloak. "Just forget it, Granger."

And before she could even move, before she could say anything in return, he was out of the door already.

* * *

**And because I was quite productive today, I'm going to tease you all with a preview ;) Ready for this?**

**"You know you want this," she whispered huskily, her lips very close to his ear and before he could think about what he was doing, he placed his hands on her waist and leaned up to catch her lips again. She shivered under his touch.**


	11. Chapter 11

Draco felt a sudden feeling of relief as he left Hermione behind and walked through the Dungeons, getting closer to seclusion with each step. He couldn't really say that it had been a burden to him to take care of her, she had been unconsious most of the time to begin with, but now he was fleeing to the familiarity of his own thoughts, the privacy of one's mind and home. He felt at ease until he turned around a corner and saw that someone was sitting next to his door, apparently waiting for him.

"Pansy?" he asked as he was sure he recognized who it was and walked faster until he reached her. She got to her feet. Draco narrowed his eyes, he could hardly see her in the darkness. Her dark black hair was no difference to her long black robe. She smiled widely and threw her arms around him.

"Draco!" she whispered fiercly.

He reached behind his neck and grabbed her hands, losening her grip on him he stepped away and looked at her, his face reflecting confusion. "What do you want?"

"I needed to...just see you," she admitted, her smile still present on her face. "I've missed you."

His heart sank into his boots. He didn't feel like having yet another of her attempts to win him back.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," he shrugged and opened the door for her, beckoning her to enter before him. Once inside he closed the door and turned to look at her. His mouth dropped incredulously.

Her robe fell slowly off her shoulders to the ground. Her hair was longer than usual, almost waist-length, he identified and watched strands of it fall over her shoulders to cover her cleavage, her hair a silky shadow that played around her features. He couldn't quite diagnose what kind of lingerie she was wearing, it seemed to be a black, see-through and extremely short nightgown. It was a perfect match to her light skin, he had to admit. She flushed deeply.

"Pansy..." he sighed and shook his head, walking over to her he bent down and grabbed her robe, handing it back to her as he sat on the edge of his bed. "We've been past this, I thought."

She threw her robe across the room and stepped infront him, delicately sitting down on his lap, her legs straddling him. "I beg to differ."

He looked up at her face, carefully trying not to let his gaze slip. "Don't do this, Pansy." A hint of frustration colored his tone.

She laughed, a laugh so delicate that he wasn't sure that it really came from her. She grabbed his cheeks and pulled his lips up to hers, a soft sigh of delight slipping from her lips as they touched.

He tried to pull away. "This isn't really the time for this. In fact, there will never be time for this again...I told you," he reminded her but she began to rub her body up against him, making him lose his train of thoughts.

"You know you want this," she whispered huskily, her lips very close to his ear and before he could think about what he was doing, he placed his hands on her waist and leaned up to catch her lips again. She shivered under his touch.

The way her lips moved with his was all too familiar to Draco. As he parted her lips with his tongue he entered a world full of memories of a life he had lost a long time ago. He threw her around and onto his bed, sliding on top of her he grabbed her thighs firmly and wrapped her legs around his waist. A moan fell from her lips, rang inside of his ears. He bent down to kiss her, his hips grinding violently into hers as the kiss grew hungrier, more intense. He leaned in and closed his lips around a patch of skin on her neck, sucking it into his mouth. Pansy's hands were shaking slightly as she tried to unbotton his shirt, he grabbed at her wrists and pinned her hands above her head, ignoring her slight discomfort not to be in control. He smirked at her, remembering how incredibly awkward their first night together had been. Both had been utterly clueless what to do but with each night that had followed, they had started to move in perfect symphony, knowing exactly how to arouse one another.

Pansy arched her back and forced him to sit back, grabbing at the rim of her nightgown she pulled it over her head and smiled devilishly at him. She leaned closer to him and grabbed his chin, her body glowing with lust as she kissed him again. Draco groaned against her lips.

Suddenly a face appeared behind his eyelids, studying him. He could hear a voice so clear as if that person was standing behind him, whispering into his ear.

_You experienced it with Pansy before, didn't you?_

He gasped against Pansy's lips. Something about the way that Pansy had grabbed his chin suddenly reminded him of Hermione, her tensed up body as they had reached that topic.

He pulled away from her.

She groaned. "Don't be such a tease. I want you," she whispered seductively and moved closer but Draco held her back.

"I can't."

Her body stiffened and she leaned away, her expression puzzled. "What's the matter?"

_Yeah, what the hell is the matter?_

"I'm...not in the mood!" he stuttered and stood up. Behind his back, Pansy laughed.

"You are in the mood. I can see it clearly, I mean!" she answered bitterly and Draco sighed out in frustration. Unfortunately, there were parts of his anatomy that didn't seem to care much about who he was kissing or whether he actually liked the girl or not. Those parts solely recognized that there was a willing female rubbing against him. But at this point he could only remember what Granger had looked like asleep in her bed. The thought of her soft features, combined with the imagination of her body pressed against his, really didn't make him think of Pansy. For a moment, he almost forgot that she was even there.

Thinking about Granger that way were definitely promoting thoughts that he shouldn't be having.

He turned to Pansy. "I think it would be best if you just leave."

She shot him a meaningful glare, trying hard to hide how much those words were hurting her. "Who are you?"

Draco's gaze met hers and he cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't recognize you anymore, Draco. What happened to you? To the boy that wanted me all the damn time, who couldn't keep his hands off of me. To the boy who loved me?" Her voice broke and to his surprise he saw that she was fighting back her tears.

This went terribly wrong. Draco struggled for words. "That was a long time ago. I've changed, Pansy. And we've changed as a couple. I can't be that boy anymore."

Her face became a mask of ignorance, she wasn't listening. "You've changed so much. I want the old Draco back, you arse." she yelled and jumped up, gathering her stuff she walked over to the door and opened it. "I don't know you anymore, Draco. This isn't you."

Without a second glance she rushed out, leaving Draco behind. He kicked the door shut with a quiet whisper. "I don't know myself anymore, either."

* * *

"Did she really?"

"Yes, everyone is talking about it."

"Not Granger! She wouldn't."

"You heard it too?"

Ever since Hermione had entered the Great Hall, she could hear the gossip talk going on around her. It was Monday morning, the Great Hall filled with students enjoying their breakfast. The enchanted ceiling above their heads was covered with thick, heavy clouds. It was going to rain.

She seated herself between Ron and Neville, helping herself to some cereals. She could feel Ron's eyes on her but didn't say anything, she focused on her breakfast instead. After two long silent minutes she finally snapped. "Why are you staring at me, Ronald?"

His cheeks blushed. "I wanted to see how you are doing."

"You could have just asked me instead of staring at me like some creeper, Ronald. But just to let you know, I'm fine. I guess I slept the cold off," she explained harshly. A few seats away from her someone laughed into his food.

_"I guess you could say that,"_ she heard Seamus say.

She rolled her eyes and drew her attention back to her bowl. Ron cleared his throat. "Did...did he tell you?"

Hermione knew immediately who he was talking about but she decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

Ron made a face when he answered. "Malfoy."

"He told me that you beat him up," she replied matter-of-factly.

"_What!_ That's a lie. I mean...I came there...he's lying, Hermione," he stuttered.

Pushing her bowl away she turned around to look at him, her tone suddenly harsh. "I see you and I saw him, you look fine while he looks like Grawp used him as a toothpick. He's a mess, Ronald." He opened his mouth to interrupt her but she waved her hand infront of his face to cut him off. "I don't care who started it or what it was about, just leave me out of this, okay?"

"But it was because of you, god damn it. Don't you see, Hermione?"

"See what?"

He turned his head one from side to another and lowered his voice. "They are all talking about you and him?"

She felt herself frown. "What are they saying?"

Ron leaned even closer so that Hermione had to concentrate to hear every word. "They are saying that you...well...slept with Malfoy."

Her breath caught inside of her throat as she tried to realize what he had said. "It's no one's business," she mumbled.

Ron's eyes widened in pure horror and astonishment. "So you did sleep with him?" he cried out.

"That's not what I'm saying, Ronald. Do you even hear yourself talk?" She snapped and glared at him, aware that almost everyone in the Great Hall had turned their attention toward them. Ron felt slightly uncomfortable. "I didn't sleep with Malfoy, who do you think I am? Next time you hear such rumors, confront me immediately instead of just believing them."

She stood up and marched through the Great Hall, hundreds of eyes following her until she rushed out and reached the Great Staircase. Lost inside of her thoughts, she didn't realize that she was being followed.

* * *

What the hell was going on in Ronald's mind for fuck's sake? How dare he believe she would sleep with Malfoy? She didn't even remember most of the weekend but she sure would remember if anything like that had happened. So why where there rumors going around that they had sex? She couldn't imagine Draco being the one who started them, he wouldn't be thrilled to hear such things in the first place. He was a pureblood, after all. There was no possibility to be involved with a Mudblood. With some satisfaction she realized that the people who started the rumors would have to explain themselves to an incredibly outraged Malfoy once he would hear about this.

"Hey slut!" Someone screamed behind her.

She flung around and stared. It was Crabbe and Goyle, a vicious grin attached to both their faces. It sent shivers up and down her spine, raising the hair on the nape of her neck as she realized that her wand was carelessly laying on her pillow. _Upstairs in her room!_

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice stronger than she would have thought.

They moved simultaneously, like a reaction to a silent command. They had grown, she realized and saw that they were about two heads taller than she was. She knew she could easily fight them off in a wizarding duel but without her wand she felt strangely useless and unprotected. She shivered.

"How does it feel? To be Draco's mistress?" Goyle croaked and giggled dumbly.

"Must be nice to feel important?" Crabbe continued and walked closer to her.

"What do you want?" Hermione repeated and backed away, her eyes wandering around to see if there was anything she could use as a weapon. She quickly realized that this was just a stupid fantasy out of an old Western movie. Of course there was nothing there to use.

They shrugged, shockingly simultaneously again. "You need to learn some respect infront of authorities," Crabbe smirked, pressumingly proud of himself to have conquered such a _complex_ word.

Hermione looked behind her and saw that she was about to reach the end of the corridor. With relief she realized that if she could only slip around the corner and into the next corridor, she would have the moment of surprise on her side and could attempt to run away.

_You are a damn witch, Hermione. You can't run from danger._

There was no escape for her, no choices to deliberate.

She screamed aloud when warm hands reached from around the corner and hauled her away.

* * *

**I know that my last preview might have left you thinking that Draco and Hermione would kiss but I'm not rushing things ;) **

**Let me know what you think so far, I'd love to hear your feedback (:**


	12. Chapter 12

Hermione threw her arms up in defense, trying to wiggle herself free but the grip on her arms only increased and she stared up into the black eyes of Severus Snape.

She gasped loudly.

He stared at her, his expression signalizing her to be quiet. Her lips wouldn't move, even if she would have wanted to say something. Not the slightest sound left her lips, no part of her body seemed to be within her control at this moment. A tiny part in the back of her mind had been hoping though, had been almost convinced, that those hands would belong to Draco. That he was the one saving her.

_God, you are so fucking stupid. Get a grip, Hermione!_

Snape rushed around the corner and faced Crabbe and Goyle, Hermione pressed her back up against the wall. Her breath came uneven and shallow, too quick for her not to be gasping for air. She felt like she was suffocating, chocking on air that wasn't even inside of her lungs.

"I thought I had sent you to detention, hadn't I?" Snape snarled loudly. Hermione noticed how he kept his voice low, vicious still, but he had his own very peculiar way to penetrate someone's mindframe by the mere tone of his voice that it fascinated her not to hear them crouch to the floor, whimpering in defeat.

Instead they burst into a flood of tergiversations, babbling over each other.

"Enough!" Snape hissed and said something Hermione couldn't quite catch. Suddenly she heard footsteps, apparently they were leaving.

She exhaled noisily, shutting her eyes as she leaned her head against the wall behind her. Her heartbeat slowly calmed down as she figured that she seemed to be out of danger, the worst part was over. For whatever reason, Snape had just spared her from an unpleasant time, so to say at least.

"Follow me," Snape suddenly said and rushed past her.

Her eyes popped up and she stared after him, indecisive what this was about. With her head nodded down she began to follow him, not noticing that her heartbeat had already quickened again.

* * *

As they reached his office, he opened the door and walked behind his desk, seating himself on his chair. She watched him with a puzzled expression written over her face. Why did he bring her here? Whatever he wanted to say to her was from such an importance to him that it needed to be done in privacy. That thought didn't exactly make her feel better though.

"Have a seat, Ms Granger," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle.

She felt herself frown but sat down infront of him.

"I am sure that Mr Potter already informed you that he was requested to teach Mr Malfoy how to conjure a Patronus," he began and focused his gaze on her face. She nodded quietly.

"As soon as Professor Dumbledore heard about my proposition," he continued "he made clear that he wasn't fond of my choice. In fact, he needs Potter to fully concentrate on his lessons with our Headmaster. I'm sure you know about those too."

Hermione nodded again, her eyebrows slowly pulling together.

_And this would be any of my business because?_

"I suggested you would take over Potter's task. Dumbledore agreed, quite happily if I might add." He paused to frown for a second.

"No!" she cringed and sat up straight on her chair.

"No?" Snape repeated and curled his lips to a sly grin. "You don't have the authority to neglect our Headmaster's choice, Ms Granger," he explained.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something but she knew immediately that he was right.

"I'd like you to start this evening, I will inform Mr Malfoy right away. You can go to your first class now, you are dismissed."

She was unable to move, her body frozen. Not only was she forced to play Malfoy's tutor now, but had also received sudden help from Snape. Clearing her throat she brought her concern forward. "Professor?" she asked.

"The bell rang already, you'd do better to hurry Ms Granger," he snarled.

She didn't move an inch. "Why'd you help me, Professor?"

His eyes pierced into hers, the force of his stare made her feel slightly uncomfortable and of unease. She shifted around in her chair. "I can only recall reminding Mr Goyle and Mr Crabbe to head to their detention," he explained.

A deep frown creaped over her face but she kept her mouth shut and rose to her feet with a mumbled "Thank you, Professor."

As she walked out of the office she was sure that she could see out of the corner of her eye that a soft smile appeared on Snape's face.

* * *

Everyone around her was rushing through the corridors on their way to their first class but Hermione couldn't even tell where or what her first class was. There was the familiar, businesslike touch to the atmosphere around her but it didn't lure her in. She was suddenly reminded of Ron's expression inside of the Great Hall. Hermione stared at the floor as she was walking and tried to remember what exactly he had been saying before...everyone seemed to believe that she had spent the night with Malfoy, which in fact was true. He had been staying with her but she knew as much as anyone else should know too, that they didn't get _close _to each other. She grimaced. She couldn't even imagine them having a normal conversation without bickering, they were too different to even be able to agree on a topic they were both fond of. So anyone who wasn't out of their god damn mind had to see that the rumors were nothing more than that; just rumors.

But why couldn't she stop thinking about them? Why did it bother her so much? During the Triwizard Tournament, she had been literally bombarded with rumors about her relationship to Viktor Krum, with the help of Rita Skeeter's ignorant articles to be exact. She hadn't even cared when she had received all the hate mail for supposedly dating Harry but this tiny little rumor about having slept with Malfoy made her feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Hermione!" Someone shouted behind her, interrupting her disturbing conjectures.

She whipped around and saw Malfoy hurrying to catch up with her. She groaned.

Draco stopped infront of her, a cheerful smile on his lips. "Hi," he whispered. Hermione couldn't remember when she had ever seen him smile like this before. Other than that one day back in their third year where he had been so enthusiastic about Buckbeak being sentenced to death, of course. She scowled immediately at that memory.

Hermione turned around and continued walking. "I am late to class, Snape distracted me," she explained without looking at him. She heard his footsteps following her though.

He grabbed her wrist and turned her around again, yanking her body against his. She looked up into his eyes, his face outraged. "What's the matter, Draco?" she asked, truely concerned to see him like that.

"What did he want from you?" His voice sounded panicky.

"I think you will find out soon enough," she muttered and tried to pull herself free but his grip was too tight, he pulled her even closer instead. His jaw clenched and his eyes looked for hers. She could see every little detail of his skin now, realizing that there was a tiny scar just below his left eyebrow, clearly not coming from his fight with Ron. It was older, possibly from a Quidditch match or a downfall even? She parted her lips already to ask him where he got it from but he cut her off.

"What did he want from you?" he insisted, his tone turning icy.

She sighed out. "Instead of Harry I am now supposed to teach you how to conjure a Patronus," she said, avoiding the force of his eyes.

_Why would no one step between them?_

_'They must be thinking the newlyweds are having their first fight,' _she thought bitterly, unaware of the fact that there was no one but them in the corridor.

"And?"

He knew about the rumors already! She should have figured that much before.

"Nothing," she lied and stared down at their feet, waggling her toes awkwardly inside of her shoes. She wasn't sure why she wasn't telling him that Crabbe and Goyle were out to start something, possibly even torture her as far as her imagination went, but if by any chance Draco didn't know about the rumors yet she didn't want to add another aggravating factor to his mood. She didn't want to make it worse.

Now it was his turn to sigh. All of a sudden his finger was underneath her chin and he pulled her face up, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were glowing - his pale face darkened with honest concern. "What's the matter with you, Granger?" Hermione noticed how he called her by her last name again.

"You are hiding something," Draco said, making no move to pull away. His face was just inches away from hers now.

"I have to -"

"Hey Granger! How did your encounter with Crabbe and Goyle go?" someone yelled, laughing.

Both Hermione and Draco jumped, drifting apart immediately. They turned around but found the corridor empty. Whoever that had been, he was long gone already.

Draco slowly turned back at her, his eyes tightening. He gritted his teeth together. "What kind of meeting?"

"Nothing," she said and began to walk away again. He stopped her immediately and grabbed her hands. "Stop that now."

"Stop what?" Hermione challenged, suddenly glaring up at him.

_Could you just stop touching me?_

"Stop trying to run away from me," he said, much to her surprise. "Has something happened? What did they want from you, Hermione?"

There he went, approaching her by her first name again. He seemed to be more indecisive than any woman Hermione knew.

"Teach me some respect," she finally broke the silence, her voice unnaturally quiet.

His grip on her tightened, drawing her closer if that was even possible. Their bodies were barely touching but she could feel the strong hammering of his heartbeat. "Teaching you some respect for what?" he growled.

Her cheeks blushed a dark crimson color and she fixed her gaze on a spot of his shirt as she spoke. "For being your mistress."

Draco let go of her so sudden it startled her, as if her touch had stinged his skin. He took a few wary steps back, reconciling her words inside of his mind. "M-my mistress?" he stuttered.

Hermione watched him shake his head slowly, his face turning from bewildered to something she couldn't quite entitle. Was he really worried?

Within a blink of her eyes he was right infront of her again, his hands suddenly holding her face.

_What's going on here?_

"Are you alright?" he whispered gently, his eyes scanning her face.

"Mhm," Hermione mumbled almost incoherently.

"You are not." He corrected, trying to hold her gaze as she looked away again.

She took a deep breath to steady herself and shifted backward so that she wasn't that close to him anymore. As the constriction began to fade, she felt something else.

It took Hermione a minute to recognize why she was staring down again, her blush returning - why her stomach felt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in her eyes, why she suddenly wanted to run away from here.

Anxiety washed through her, strong and instinctive.

She knew it was irrational, Crabbe and Goyle weren't much of a threat to her if she had her wand, but the feeling still seemed to grow more intense with each moment that passed. She was unable to shake it off.

Draco sighed again. His hand moved under her chin and he pulled her face up until she had to look at him again.

"I'm here." He murmured silently.

Hermione didn't answer. Instead she clenched her fists and felt the smooth cobbles of her knuckles brush some warm part of his body but she didn't allow herself to look and see where. He was standing so close to her now, she could taste the tang of his breath as it spread through the air and for one awful yet rapture inspiring moment, she considered to throw her arms around him, to bury her face in his chest. She found herself not able to stop thinking about it, she wanted to share her thoughts with him, the thoughts she was now drowning herself in, the need and longing dissipated by her firm imagination.

He scrutinized her face for a long moment while she tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. This wasn't the right moment to be vulnerable, not the right environment and certainly not the right person to be vulnerable infront of. His brow furrowed and his expression became thoughful.

"Let's go."

"What?" She almost choked on her tongue, his words took her by surprise completely.

"Let's go," he repeated urgently.

"Where are we going?" Hermione whispered, her voice full of doubt.

His response was bleak. He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Away?"

Hermione shook her head, grimacing. "We have classes now, Draco. We can't just - "

"This is far more important." He interrupted, suddenly almost pleading. His long light eyebrows slanted up in the middle and pulled together, his mouth turning into a thin line. "Please," he whispered and held his hand out for her.

She folded her arms across her chest. "I _can't _-"

His eyes narrowed and he groaned. "Yes, you can." He reached out and grabbed her hand, his movements full of determination.

Hermione didn't protest as he dragged her down the corridor.

* * *

**Ehhh, not so content with the way this chapter turned out but I just had to get it off my mind, I hope you still enjoy it (:**


	13. Chapter 13

By the time Hermione was done summing up the matutinal events, they had circled the Black Lake almost twice. Draco was listening intently, throwing in questions here and there to try and understand everything, analyzing the way she spoke and held herself; giving away details she wasn't telling him. She had obviously been scared facing Crabbe and Goyle even though she didn't want to admit it to him, nor herself. She was playing nervously with her hands as she described how they had ambuscaded her, Draco noticed with fascination. If there was one thing he knew about her, then it was that she wasn't scared easily.

"Humour me again," he mumbled and his shoulder bumped into hers. She flinched away momentarily and he frowned deeply, she seemed to be scared still. Maybe even of him? Well...if she was, she wouldn't have gone with him, would she? The thought still left him unsettled.

"You faced those gits alone, without your wand?" he asked as calmly as possible, fighting with his voice. He was fuming on the inside, trying really hard to hide it from her.

Hermione groaned. "Yes, for the fifth time now. I didn't have my wand on me because it was in my room. Where it still is, I might add." It didn't slip her attention though that he had called them gits.

"And they called you a slut?"

"Yeah."

"And my mistress?"

"Yes, Draco." She grew impatient.

He clenched his fists, watching them shake heavily as he fought for composure. Hermione didn't miss it.

"Are you okay?" She asked, surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded.

"No," he said shortly, his tone was livid.

Hermione walked in silence beside him, watching his face while his light eyes began to blaze, staring straight ahead until he came to a sudden stop. She glanced around, the vague outline of dark trees surrounding them. She could hardly see the Castle anymore.

"Hermione?" He asked, his voice tight. "Are you all right?" Draco didn't look at her, but the anger was plain on his face.

"Yes I am, don't worry," she croaked lightly.

"Promise me something, please," he ordered.

"What, why?"

He exhaled deeply. "Just promise me you won't go anywhere near them again, I don't trust them anymore and I don't want you to be in the middle of a fight which isn't yours," he clarified, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He seemed tired.

"Um...why don't you trust them anymore? They used to be your best friends," she whispered and wrapped her arms around herself as a cold breeze came up and weaved around them. Draco didn't seem to be bothered, he was still squeezing his eyes shut but the corner of his mouth twitched dangerously. She waited, ignoring the shiver which crawled through her bones.

"Let me put it this way - since the Dark Lord is back, my father doesn't belong to his favorites anymore. For countless reasons. While he still was, every wizard wanted to befriend our family, hoping to be on good terms with us and the Dark Lord in the long run...well, every pureblood family, who was somewhat fascinated with the Dark Lord and his virtues at least. Now that my father lost his face, it all stopped of course. So I came to realize that when I first met Crabbe and Goyle the only reason why they wanted to be my friends was because of my father and their hopes to gain more respect...I guess. As soon as he landed in Azkaban, they turned their back on me."

"I noticed that." She admitted, sounding a bit more composed.

"You did?" Draco asked in disbelief and sighed, finally opening his eyes. "I thought you wouldn't pay much attention to Slytherins."

Hermione looked down, almost ashamed. "Not that topic again, please." She waited but he didn't speak again. She raised her head back up and saw how he was looking at her, his face was calm. She suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"At least," he continued, "that's what I used to think. But look at you now, hanging out with me after all."

"Oh." The word seemed inappropriate, but she couldn't think of a better response.

They began to walk in silence again, she glanced at the sun climbing higher and higher up the sky, trying to fight through the heavy rainclouds. It was a beautiful image nontheless.

"Do you miss them?" She finally broke the silence.

Draco glanced over at her. "Hm?"

"Crabbe and Goyle, I mean."

He looked down and shrugged, unsure what to say. "We used to have a great time together but that was years ago, when we were still young and innocent." Hermione couldn't help but giggle at that remark. He ignored it and continued. "But we grew up and developed into totally different people. We don't believe in the same things, you might say. This is also the reason why I broke up with Pansy." The words came out in a rush, as if he was grateful to finally say it out loud, have someone listen to him. He avoided Hermione's gaze rigidly, afraid to find any kind of judgement in her eyes. "She was in love with me and I loved her, too. But all of a sudden she started mentioning marriage - good old Pansy was talking about marriage. I thought I misunderstood her but she truely meant it. And bluntly, I freaked out. I wasn't ready for this, I had too much to take care of already and I couldn't...wouldn't add more responsibility to my life."

He breathed out loudly and Hermione noticed how her mouth had dropped while he had been speaking. He had never showed himself so..._exposed._

"It was the wrong kind of place, the wrong kind of time. And I was the wrong kind of man...I am still the wrong kind of man," he admitted and glanced up at the sky, his shoulders tightening. "So I broke up with her and distanced myself from her. And every day since then I can see it in her eyes how much it hurt her. How much it might always hurt her, for the rest of her life."

Hermione hesitated at first but suddenly she reached her hand out and placed it on his shoulder, petting it awkwardly. He finally looked at her again, his left eyebrow raising up.

"Draco, I - "

"Please, don't say that you are sorry," he cut her off.

She drew her hand back and looked away, fixing her gaze on a nearby tree as she spoke again. "Do you love her still?"

Draco sucked in a breath but replied calmly. "No, that was a long time ago."

She turned back toward him and managed to smile lightly. He raised another eyebrow at her. "You shouldn't look at me like this."

"Like what?"

"Like you _care_ about my feelings, Granger."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and shot him a meaningful glare which made him take a step back. "But you care! Why wouldn't I care about yours, too?"

"I don't...that's..." he stuttered, his hand scratching at the back of his head. She raised an eyebrow and he gave in. "Well, I do care because... when you told me that they hurt your feelings, I literally flipped out. I didn't want to be the cause for you to be hurt. I didn't want to add another person to the list of people who are in pain because of me," he admitted, his voice shaking.

Her features softened and she pulled her arm out again, linking it with his. He shrieked away a little but let it happen. "I'm glad that you care."

"Is that so?" He asked mockingly.

"Yes because...it strenghtens my belief in mankind and humanity in particular. I always try very hard to see the good features in people, even in those who are known as pure evil. I wouldn't exactly consider you evil, but you aren't exactly an angel, either." She explained and smiled sideways at him. He chuckled. "But you aren't the little boy anymore who would steal someone's toy just because he can...you changed and developed a strong sense of empathy."

Draco heard himself draw in a loud breath. No one had ever used him and empathy in one sentence, building a connection between those words. He was actually known to be quite the opposite of an empath. A distant feeling of contentment washed through him.

"You're cold." He suddenly stated numbly as a new breeze danced around their bodies and made her shiver.

Hermione gave a small shrug which was barely recognisable with her tiny wren-like shoulders. He pulled his arm away and grasped her hand instead, his fingers closing softly around hers. She was indeed freezing, her cold skin sending goosebumps down his spine. Was the cold really the cause for his goosebumps though?

Hermione closed her eyes. She could feel the radiating warmth from him hitting her skin and after an initial painful feeling it was incredibly comforting.

"That feels nice." She said. "I've been trying to get warm since we left the building. Well...no...I'm lying, rather since I saw Crabbe and Goyle infront of me," she admitted half-heartedly.

Anger instantly filled Draco again and he squeezed her hand tightly, realizing with astonishment how he was able to calm down by merely touching her. It was a soothing thought, he admitted to himself.

"I'm sure they miss us in class," she went on and snapped him out of his thoughts. He choked out a laugh.

"I'm sure they can make it one day without us. Or do you want to go back?" Draco asked, feeling a strange ache inside of his chest.

"No, I still have a few questions," Hermione admitted and smiled lightly. "Why did they believe I am your mistress in the first place?"

A deep frown creeped over Draco's forehead as he thought about her question, having pondered on it ever since she had told him what had happened. "Weasel was the only one who knew I was spending time with you, I think."

"If you are trying to say that he spread the rumors, I beg you to stop," she said immediately and glanced over at him.

"Why are you protecting him?"

"Why wouldn't I? He cares about me, I doubt that he would like to see nasty rumors being spred about me," she explained as a matter of fact.

Draco sighed out and rolled his eyes at her. "You amaze me, Granger. God forbid that any of your friends would do you harm. You are too trusting. Didn't my story with Crabbe and Goyle teach you anything at all? Once your friends feel different about you, for example betrayed as it is in Weasel's case, they change and do things you would have never thought they are capable of."

Her eyebrows shot up and she stopped in her movements, turning half-way toward him. "I betrayed him?"

He shook his head impatiently. "Not necessarily. All I am saying is, that he feels betrayed. Even I can see that he is still in love with you and hearing that the girl he is in love with spent the night with someone else must have cleary hurt him." Didn't she realize that no one was immune to jealousy?

Hermione nodded slowly, taking in what he had just revealed. Had Ron really been acting based on false and hurt pride?

"If - and that's a big if - you are right, then it changes things quite a lot."

"I'm almost sure I am right," he stated persistently.

"I wouldn't have thought that I would ever say this but right now I certainly hope I'd have the Sight."

Draco looked at her with wide eyes before he burst out laughing, startling a few birds nesting in a tree close to them. Hermione watched him with confusion.

"What's so funny?"

He clutched his sides, unable to answer. The combination of interest, fright and sweaty-palmed anticipation was a natural lubricant for her tongue, so she turned to speak at him again.

"I wasn't trying to be funny, I swear." She cried out, unable to conceil a laughter of her own.

Draco steadied himself again and nodded, smiling softly at her. "I know, this is what it makes it so much funnier." He turned around and began to walk again, Hermione hurried to catch up with him.

"What do you mean?"

"I might not know you as good as your friends do, Granger, but over the last six years I have spent my fair share of classes with you. Enough to know that you don't believe in Divination but yet you turn to it now that you are out of ideas. It's quite charming, actually."

Hermione had no idea what he was talking about. Instead she noticed a low rumbling sound erupting from the sky.

"What was that?"

Draco fixed his gaze on the sky and watched how the already dark clouds seemed to turn black. "We'd better hurry back. It looks like it's going to thunder any minute now."

She looked at him teasingly. "Are you afraid of thunder, Malfoy?"

"No, I'm afraid that you will get wet and end up being sick again," he explained with a smug grin.

She shrugged softly, making no effort to turn around. "I'll be fine. Don't worry too much or else you'll get wrinkles soon."

His mouth dropped with a low whistle echoing from his lips. "Are you actually trying to say I look old?"

Hermione burst out laughing and stepped a few feet away. "Yes, actually."

"You _really _shouldn't have said that," he chuckled. She didn't see him leap at her, it was much too fast but she suddenly found herself being chased away. All the while, the air was filled with their laughter mixed with faint thunder as she ran, trying to get away from him.

She wasn't having that. He suddenly got a hold on her arm and hauled her back against his chest in the exact same moment as the sky burst upon above them. The rain poured down with a strong force, coating them quickly but unable to muffle their laughter.

"Look," he whispered close to her ear and pointed at the Castle as a lightning shot toward the ground, so bright it was blinding Hermione's eyes. She watched the lightnings almost circle around the Castle, a perfect dance of nature.

"I don't regret it," she whispered.

"Regret what?"

"Following you."

Draco felt himself smile as he stood behind her, forgetting to look at the spectacle around them.

* * *

**Mostly dialogue this time, I felt the need to take a look at their behaviour a little and go deeper into the delevopment of their relationship. I hope you are enjoying the ride so far (:**


	14. Chapter 14

Looking back Hermione wasn't able to tell how long they had stood there. A minute? Or ten? Maybe an hour even or two. She felt completely disconnected from the world as his arms wrapped gently around her, the only thing she was really aware of was his body close to hers. It almost startled her to realize how content and at ease she felt this very moment.

A painful-looking smile that might have been a grimace flashed over his face. "We have to go..."

Hermione followed his gaze and froze.

There was a single figure walking their direction, too far away to see them.

Yet.

"It's Nott," Draco hissed through his teeth and grabbed her hand. Hermione's heart started beating faster for a reason she couldn't identify. He dragged her to the close outlines of the Forbidden Forest and led her under the dark canopy of a line of trees.

"Do you think he saw us?"

"I don't know if he saw us. I certainly hope he didn't," he remarked and blinked at her. "We can walk back to the Castle in here." He gestured at the trees around them and shrugged lightly. "You must be cold..." he whispered and touched a fingertip to her cheek. His touch sent a chill down her spine.

What a funny thing to see how his demeanor had shifted so quickly.

She shook her head, lightly. "No, I'm fine. Let's go."

"Watch out for roots, I don't want you to trip."

He walked ahead of her and she followed slowly, the huge trees surrounding them offered a perfect hide-out on their way back to the Castle. It also held most of the rain back, it was now more of a faint whiff barely touching them. Hermione's body was shivering nontheless.

They walked in silence, interupted only by curses if one or the other began to stagger over a root or was hit by an outsticking branch.

There was no sign of Nott and soon after, they left the safety of the Forest and reached the Castle. Hermione stopped awkwardly infront of the Great Staircase while Draco was already a few feet away from her, heading to the Dungeons. He came to a halt as he noticed that Hermione wasn't behind him.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked, confused.

She took an usually large amount of time catching up with him, mumbling under her breath. "Going where?"

He looked at her as if the answer was obvious. "To my room, Granger. You are wet and my room is closer. You can clean yourself up there?" he answered impatiently.

And she did so, following after him as they marched through the Dungeons and reached his room. He opened the door for her and entered after her, throwing his soaked cloak on the floor. Coozy warmness welcomed them. It was the first time, Hermione recognized, that she saw Draco's room. It was unlike anything she had expected and her mouth widened in surprise. She shifted, one foot to the other, and looked around him. The room was bare with the exception of a bed, desk and closet. A chair was shoved carelessly against a wall. If this was his room, then why wasn't there anything personal? She couldn't even see any pictures at the wall. But the most dominant and irritating factor about his room was that the usual grey and silver walls, representatives of his House, were missing. Instead, someone - Draco himself, she assumed - had painted them white. It seemed fairly sterile.

Draco watched her with amusement. "Is anything wrong?"

She hadn't noticed that she had reached out and let her fingertips stroke against the wall, she drew them back slowly and turned to look at him. "Nothing at all," she lied.

He raised an eyebrow. "So...you want a towel or anything?"

"Actually, I'm hungry."

He looked at her with an upturn of his nose. "I don't have food here...I could go to the Kitchen?"

"No, I'm fine. Just give me a towel, please."

He handed her a towel out of his closet and she caught herself rubbing the soft fabric of it against her cheek. It had an unfamiliar scent to it, comparable to soap and something like salt...but the complete opposite. Unsure why this even mattered she began rubbing it against her long curls, knowing that her hair would soon look like a haystack. She walked infront of his mirror and spent an unusual large amount of time in front of it, doing her hair. It flopped this way, came undone that way, and she smoothed her long fingers through it. She ended up with an up-do.

Suddenly there were hands on her, touching the small of her back. She shivered and saw Draco's reflection inside of the mirror as he stood behind her, turning her around to face him. His expression was illegible.

"Draco, I -" She breathed out and fixed her gaze on a spot on his chin. She didn't bear to look into his eyes now.

He made a sound, low in his throat, that sounded much like he was surprised. His wet fingers were suddenly crawling up her spine to the back of her neck until they reached her hair band and pulled softly on it, freeing her mane. They fell loosely down her shoulders, tickling the back of her neck.

Hermione opened her mouth to talk but he unran her. "This is much better." He turned away from her, unknowing that for the first time Hermione was at a complete loss for words.

* * *

Draco left without another word and didn't come back for ten minutes. When he did return, he held up two bottles of water and a pack of sandwiches.

"The elves offered me a whole bunch of different dishes but I figured we could just settle for sandwiches." Actually, he had no idea what food she liked but he didn't mention that. Instead he passed her one of the bottles, and she stared a long moment at the sandwiches. It was made by House-Elves. Of course, that was obvious from the sheer fact that he'd gotten it from the kitchen... but still. At this very moment, she didn't care about S.P.E.W at all.

They settled down on the cold floor and drank in silence for a moment. "Well?" she asked.

He sat his bottle on the floor, avoiding her eyes. "Well, what?"

"Why wasn't Nott allowed see us?" she asked slowly.

Draco took a bite from his sandwich and answered just as slowly while he chewed. "I didn't want to get in trouble for ditching class."

She raised an eyebrow. "He's your friend, he wouldn't have told on you."

He drank from his water and he swished it around his mouth for a prolonged amount of time, Hermione grew impatient in the meanwhile. She had forgotten her hunger completely.

"Granger, he fancies you," he finally said.

Hermione choked on her water and spat most of it out. He watched her curiously as she started to cough while she tried to speak. "Wha...what..._Nott_?"

He rolled her eyes and shrugged, lightly. The conclusion had been tucked into the back of his mind for a long time already, ever since Theo had given him a black eye to be exact. As far as Draco was concerned, the only reason why he didn't want him to see Hermione again was because he had a crush on her.

_Good old jealousy._

"Remember my black eye? He gave it to me as he found out that I had visited you." He stopped as he saw how Hermione's eyes wandered to his, examining the slowly fading bruises. "Theo asked me not to see you again and I severly doubt that he was worried about my _good name._ If that was the case, he would have simply told me not to see you again, because you wouldn't be good company, not a good match for me. But I think his punch explains itself. He was jealous of me."

Hot blood pumped itself through her body and into her heart, and the shock quickly ebbed away to be replaced by an ashamed emotion that swirled through her whole being in a warm and fuzzy manner.

_A good match._

He looked taken aback while she tried to catch her breath, and he leaned his back against his bed, staying perfectly still until Hermione finally spoke again.

"I don't think I ever really spoke to him," she muttered, more to herself than him.

Draco's eyes scanned her face and he exhaled a deep breath as to find the strength to speak the next words which left his lips. "You are beautiful. I'm sure that's a contributing factor for his feelings. Or the only reason, I reckon."

Hermione didn't know what to say to this, so she remained silent while her mind worked rapidly. Beautiful. He had just called her beautiful. No one apart from Viktor and Ron had ever called her beautiful before, but Ron didn't really count. Neither did Viktor, considering that their relationship had been doomed before it had even started. She stared at Draco.

His eyebrows shot up and he smirked lightly. "What, never heard the word beautiful before?"

Her blush darkened and she took an extremely long sip from her waterbottle to find an adequate answer but nothing made sense to her right now so she shrugged lightly. He laughed.

"You might not be a good match for me, Granger, but I am still a man. I see beauty when I look at you."

The conversation grew more and more awkward in Hermione's opinion and she let her eyes wander around his room to find any inspiration to provide a change of topic.

"What exactly do you know about the Patronus Charm?" She finally asked.

The sudden topic change startled him but he nodded slowly and answered. "A Patronus Charm is an insubstantial animal protector created by the advanced incantation '_Expecto Patronum'. _It is a useful defense against Dementors and other Dark creatures." She was surprised that he knew that much. But then again, why wouldn't he? Just because she was the top of the class didn't mean that any other student was stupid, she had to remind herself once again.

"To be able to conjure a Patronus you have to concentrate on the happiest memory you can think of," Hermione added and nibbled on her sandwich some more. "I figured you could start thinking about what your happiest memory is before we go and try it out."

He hung his head, staring down at the last drops in his waterbottle. "I have no idea."

"You must have one, at least." She said, finding her business-like mood emerging, the familiar emotion that came every time she had to function as a tutor. This situation wasn't any different, she tried to tell herself.

_Just look at him and imagine it would be Ron. Or Neville._

Somehow, her face turned into a grimace at that thought.

As Draco remained silent she nudged her foot against his leg to force him to look at her but he was still avoiding her eyes. She sighed out. "Come on, it can't be that hard."

"Maybe the day my father got me my first puppy?" He asked sarcastically but Hermione smiled a pleased smile.

"You had a dog?"

"Mhm. Among other animals," he mumbled and shrugged. "He would give me anything I wanted."

Hermione noticed the bitterness in his voice but fought the urge to reach out and comfort him. Right now, he seemed so vulnerable again. She frowned deeply. "What was its name?"

"Fluffers," he grimaced. "In my defense, I was five and thought he was the fluffiest thing on this planet."

Hermione laughed gently. He risked a glance at her and smiled lightly.

"That's pretty...cute," she chuckled and he stared at her now.

"You think so?"

She nodded in response and closed her eyes. Suddenly she imagined a little light haired boy chasing a small puppy across the yard. Or said puppy curled up on the boy's bed at night while he was sleeping. She liked that picture.

"I don't know if it's a strong enough memory but it's worth a try. Do you have anything else in mind?" She asked and crossed her legs.

"The first quidditch game I won?" He suggested and chewed on the inside of his lip. He was merely naming day-to-day situation, he couldn't even remember the last time he felt happy.

"That's something Harry tried when he learned how to conjure it. As far as I remember, it wasn't strong enough." Hermione explained matter-of-factly and shrugged. She knew that she was lacking an Y-chromosome to fully understand men's fascination with Quidditch.

"I'm not Scarhead, though," Draco said sourly.

"I know that."

"Then don't compare me to him, please." His voice was suddenly harsh, even though he realized she hadn't told him off about calling her precious friend 'Scarhead'.

"I wasn't!"

Draco shrugged it off and turned his attention back to his bottle, smacking it lightly against his thighs. Hermione sighed out deeply and looked down. Silence embraced them again and for a good ten minutes no one would say anything until the Slytherin Boy cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"And I shouldn't have compared you to Harry, I'm sorry." Hermione admitted.

He looked over at her and smiled apologetically, the corners of her own mouth twitched immediately and she smiled back.

"What else?" She inquired, her fingers running through her almost dry hair.

"Would a dream count?" He deliberated slowly, avoiding her gaze once again.

"I don't know...tell me about it?" She asked, more out of curiosity.

He shook his head forcefully, his grip on his bottle tightened. "I'd rather not." He half-shut his eyes and remembered one dream he had had the night he had gotten his Dark Mark. He had dreamed that he hadn't been chosen to kill Dumbledore, that he and his family was safe.

"As you wish," Hermione simply said and stared down, her cheeks burning once again. For some reason, she had expected that he would tell her, be open-hearted infront of her once more. She was making a fool out of herself again, she realized with grudge.

There was another intense pause and Draco rose to his feet. His wet shirt was clinging tightly to his skin as he moved, Hermione noticed and watched faint outlines of tightening muscles sticking out against the fabric of his shirt. She pried her gaze away from him as he turned his back on her and began to unbotton his shirt, stuffing it into his closet as he reached for a fresh one. Hermione risked another glance just as he pulled it over his head.

She gasped loudly.

Draco turned around, confusion changing his features. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied and bit into her sandwich again. She had just seen a strange pattern on his skin, a single black line carved like ink into his skin as far as she could tell. Before she had been able to look closer, textile fabric had already covered it.

_It can't be _that_, Hermione. Don't jump into conclusions now._

Draco reached into his closet once more and fished something out of it which looked remarkably like a hoodie. He handed it to her. "You can pull that on if you get too cold," he muttered and brushed a finger through her hair. The hair on the back of her neck stood up immediately and she hugged it tightly to her chest. The smell of soap hit her nostrils again.

He dropped a leaf that had been tangled inside of her curls and sat back down across from her. "What do you think about when you conjure a Patronus?"

Hermione forced herself to look back at him, shrugging slowly. "The day I found out that what I could do was magic," she began and let her mind fill with the memory of Dumbledore sitting in their livingroom at home, explaining to her and her parents that she had been accepted at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had been completely out of place sitting there on their red sofa but somehow, he had captured her fascination and gained her trust immediately. "I will never forget the expression on my parent's faces," she added with a smile.

"I assume they were proud?"

"Of course," she said, a little snippy.

"That must be nice, to have your parents be proud of you," he whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear him.

"Aren't your parents ever proud of you?"

Draco laughed half-heartedly. "My mother, yes. But I can never live up to my father's expectations. I'm not good enough, as a wizard and a son."

"That's sad," Hermione admitted with honest sympathy and her eyes searched for his. He shrugged.

"After a while, you get used to it. My aunt bursts with pride, instead. She never had a son, so I am the closest to a family she has. As far as she is able to have familial feelings, I might add. I think I've never seen her that happy until the day that I was chosen. I think she even shed one or two tears of joy," he snorted and shook his head, unaware how much he had just revealed.

Hermione's horrified face told him enough.

"What did you say?"

"Fuck!" Draco cursed under his breath and jumped to his feet, hauling her along. "You got to go, Granger," he snarled and pushed her toward the door. She wrestled against his grip and cried out.

"You were chosen? For what?"

"That's none of your fucking business," he screamed and yanked the door open, shoving her outside. She almost fell to the ground.

"You are one of them, aren't you? I saw your Dark Mark," she yelled, suddenly more furiated than concerned.

"You saw nothing. _Nothing!_" His chest heaved quickly, his heartbeat had accelerated so much that he felt like if he had just run a marathon. "Get out. Go home. _NOW_!"

He slammed the door shut infront of her, not seeing that her face began to burn as hot tears ran down her cheeks.

* * *

**All good days must come to an end, don't they?**


	15. Chapter 15

**At this point, I'd like to thank _frostykitten_ for taking the time to review every single chapter. You helped me understand what might be going on in my reader's minds while they read my story, so thank you! xoxo**

* * *

Theodore Nott was a hopeless insomniac. On the rare occasion when he did manage to find rest, his sleep was brief, haunted with dreams filled with fogginess.

The cold of the dungeons seeped into his bones more easily these rainy days. He'd give an arm and a leg to sleep like a first-year Gryffindor, coated in warmness and fluffyness as he liked to call it.

Then again, he would also give an arm and a leg not to be a Gryffindor.

Lost case, if you'd ask him.

The soft swoosh from the fireplace beyond the Sixth Year's dormitory room caused Nott to sit up in bed. With a furrowed brow, he pushed aside the thick bedcovers and reached for his wand from his bedside table to cast Lumos. It was past seven in the evening, but from the rapid mind-flow within his head he thought he'd be sitting in class right now, tortured by ever-lasting questioning.

He groaned and rubbed the back of his aching neck, a reminder that his nap hadn't worked all that well. He felt ederly, as if age was catching up with him and lately he found that he could no longer slash away with his quill into the early hours of the morning, without the inevitable fatigue setting in.

Today was no difference.

He crawled out of bed, he didn't even hear the low thud of his book that had been sprawled out across his legs and now fell to the floor, and filled a glass with water, the cool liquid dripped down his sore throat but didn't hold what he had promised himself. He felt thirsty still.

Theodore turned around and his gaze dropped to the book on the ground, spread-open across the floor. He bent down and picked it up, closing it and pinning his to his chest with a faint feeling of triumph. He smirked proudly. It had been so easy, almost too easy. A little bump into his shoulder there, a skilled grip here and now he held it in his hands. The key to victory and glory. It had been true, he had found out while he had flipped through the pages, it was indeed full of useless spells. Little assistants on his way to victory.

Without another thought, he rushed out of the dormitory room and soon vanished into darkness.

* * *

_Stop crying already!_

Boom Boom Boom.

Hermione's quick footsteps echoed from the cold walls in the Dungeons as she paced through the corridors; away from the cold, away from the pain. Her sight was blinded, a mess of blurs, tears and what was little left of her mascara as she began to run, the hammering beating of her heart reminding her that it had really happened, that unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.

_Why are you even surprised?_

It had been just a matter of time until Malfoy would have joined the Dark Side, that much she had always been sure of. He sought the dark forces, unable to get free as they had lured him further and further in. But there was something, _something_ she had noticed while they had been spending time together today. His demeanor hadn't always been dominated by pride and prejudices, he had been so warm-hearted and caring that everything inside of her tried to scream now, fight off the bitter knowledge.

_Draco Malfoy was now a Death-Eater._

"Hermione?"

One millisecond passed.

_Draco?_

Another millisecond.

_It can't be him._

And another millisecond.

Her heart shattered.

* * *

Theodore's steps quickened until he caught up with Hermione, he passed her and turned around infront of her. She almost stumbled into him.

His eyes scanned her face instantly as she didn't look up or respond, focused on her own thoughts. The blood had been emptied from her face, leaving behind soft red bumps on her cheeks from the flood of tears that now had stopped. He grabbed for her arm and then led her closer, ducking his head as they passed under a doorframe and entered an empty classroom. He was surprised that she didn't protest one bit.

It had gotten much colder since Theo had left his room; the air was unseasonably cold.

Hermione raised her head and finally met his eyes for a second, and then looked away slowly toward the wall. It almost looked like she was blushing, but it was hard to tell.

"Look," he said. "I wasn't planning to see you." He laughed, and it sounded like he was laughing at himself. "But," he added. "I'm glad that I did find you" - and he looked down suddenly, his face blushing slightly.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione demanded, her voice unnaturally tired.

He took a deep breath. "I just want to see what's wrong. You were crying."

She drew her hand away and folded her arms cross her chest. She was suddenly aware of the hoodie she was still caring. Her eyes felt moist again.

Theo's eyebrows pulled together, throwing his eyes into shadow. They seemed pitch black as they bored into Hermione's. "Did Malfoy do anything to you?"

She stared at him for a long minute, speechless. She could not think of one thing to say to him.

As he watched her confused expression, the seriousness became more dominant in his face.

_Why do you even care what Nott might do to Draco?_

"Theodore - " It felt like there was something massive sticking in her throat. She tried to clear the obstruction and shook her head. "I don't...I mean - I have to go." She turned, but he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around. His grip became much tighter.

"Did he make you cry?" Theo demanded.

She tried to shrug his arm off but failed, only finding herself standing closer to him. He had pulled her over and she managed a glare. His features softened and he let go of her arm, as if her skin had burned him. He frowned at that thought but forced a smile.

"You're okay though?"

Hermione sighed out in impatience. She craved the familiarity of her own four walls, her warm covers pulled over her head and leading her into dreams where she could escape her thoughts.

"I'm fine."

He shook his head. "You look far from fine."

"Who cares?" She snapped loudly and took a step back. He was right. She didn't feel fine at all, rather like the ground beneath her was about to start shaking and break, catching her and secluding her from the truth.

"I do." He stared at her, rather frustrated. It was wrong to be here, she thought. She didn't even know what she was doing here, but she was suddenly sure that it wasn't good.

"Theodore," she said again and stared into his dark eyes, trying to read him. Suddenly, he became wary. He took her chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that she couldn't look away from his intent gaze.

"I care about you, Hermione," he said. "Don't forget that."

"I don't want to know anything about this," she disagreed, trying to yank her chin free unsuccessfully. His eyes narrowed. He still had her chin, his fingers holding it a little too tight until it began to hurt and she saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes.

"N-" She started to object, but it was too late.

His lips crushed against hers, shutting her up. He kissed her angrily, roughly, eagerly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of her neck, making it impossible for her to escape. She shoved her hands against his chest with all of her strength, but it didn't matter. He didn't even seem to notice. His mouth suddenly became soft, his lips molding to hers in a warm way. Hermione grabbed at his face, trying to push it away but she failed again. This time he seemed to notice, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced hers open and she could taste his hot breath in her mouth. When she made no sign of doing anything in return he pulled back to look at her. He pressed his lips softly to hers again, once, twice.

Finally, he let go of her and leaned away.

"I'm in love with you, Hermione," he said in a strong, secure voice. "I love you and I want to be with you. I have no idea if you feel the same way, but I need the truth out there so that you know you have options."

"Why?" That was all she was able to choke out.

He suddenly smiled, his eyes lightning up. "You are the most incredible person I know. You are so warm-hearted and loyal, something I've never seen before. God, it's all kinds of wrong to think about being with you but I don't care about blood status anymore. You are exactly right for me. You are perfect."

Her mouth dropped, it was hard for her to concentrate, so it took her almost a minute to answer.

"I really have to go." She turned around again, this time he didn't hold her back, though, he followed her instead.

"Is it because of Weasley? Or Draco even?"

She fastened her pace and clutched the hoodie tighter to her chest, holding on to it as if her life depended on it. "I just don't feel the same about you. I don't even know you," she qualified carefully. "I'm flattered that you feel this way about me but it has no future."

He nodded calmly and stroked the tips of his fingers across her right cheek as they turned around a corner. Hermione slapped his hand gently but determinedly away.

"Do you think your feelings could change?" He asked calmly.

"No, I don't. I'm sorry," she whispered, a little frustrated.

He hesitated in the shadow, warring with himself. He half-turned, his torso twisting toward her while his feet stayed fixed where he stopped, his hand catching hers to bring her to a halt. Still looking away, he took one uncertain step closer to Hermione, then another. He swung his face toward her, his eyes doubtful.

She stared back, she had no idea what expression was on her face but she certainly hoped it wouldn't be too repulsed.

Theodore exhaled deeply and then lurched foward, closing the distance beween them by crushing their bodies together. His lips found hers with an eagerness that could easily be mistaken by violence.

She could almost taste anger as his mouth discovered hers. One hand moved to the nape of her neck, the other hand grabbed roughly at her shoulder, shaking her almost, then dragging her even closer to him. His hand continued down her arm, finding Hermione's wrist he threw it up around his neck and pressed his chest tightly to hers. She shivered as she felt his teeth graze her bottom lip, nipping at them. She shook her head mechanically as anger rushed through her body like a whiplash after a heavy accident. She grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and yanked on it, struggling to pull her face from his.

He groaned into her mouth.

"Let go of me," she screamed but he was far too strong, his hands seemed to be everywhere, suddenly grazing the skin of her thighs. She drew her arm back and let it snap forward with as much force as she was capable of. There was a gasping sound and he pulled away instantly.

"You need to stop that," she spilled out, her breath uneven and shallow. Theodore began to rub the left side of his face with his palm, a flicker of pure agony and anger crossing his eyes. Hermione gasped. "I don't feel anything for you...I don't want to kiss you, nor spend time with you. Right now. Ever. "

He didn't say anything and Hermione took a careful step back. Another. And then another. He remained silent.

Turning around she walked as quickly as she could without starting to run, the image of his face tattoed behind her eyelids.

* * *

"Hello stranger!"

Hermione hurled around and saw Harry walking toward her just as she was about to enter her room.

_Why can't anyone just leave me alone for a second?_

"Uh...hi Harry," she stuttered out and almost dropped the hoodie.

He raised an eyebrow as he stopped infront of her, examining her face with his stare. "What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked and wondered if her lip was bleeding from where Theodore had bitten her. She hoped not.

"You look...different," he said carefully and ruffled a hand through his hair. "Look, I just dropped by because I have to ask you something - and no, you don't have to tell my why you ditched classes today." She bit nervously on the inside of her mouth. "I wanted to know if you saw the Prince's book? I think you might have taken it after Potions Class last week."

His question startled her but she shook her head, ruffled. "I have no idea where it is. I'm sorry."

Harry poked his bottom lip out, clearly upset about the loss of his precious book. Suddenly he looked like the little eleven year old boy again Hermione had seen at King's Cross when they had first met. The memory made her smile. "I'm afraid that the rumors become more and more dangerous..."

"Listen, I didn't sleep with Malfoy," Hermione cried out.

His eyes widened and he threw his arms up in defense. "Hey, I wasn't even talking about that. Chill, Hermione. I know you wouldn't ever do that." A soft smile flashed over his face and she relaxed instantly.

"What rumors are you talking about then?"

Harry's eyes darkened and he crossed his arms infront of his chest. "I heard some Slytherin talking about it the other day. They must have heard that I am using a book which has different instructions included and now one of them thinks that maybe there might be something else included in there. They were all curious to see if there are some dark forces going on," he snorted out and shrugged. "I just hope no one took it or else I'm screwed."

"I'm sure you will find it soon. Maybe Ron hid it under his bed or something," she suggested with a chuckle.

"Yeah maybe," he agreed and looked back at her, suddenly concerned. "Hey, are you sure everything's alright?"

Hermione nodded her head and smiled weakly. "I've just been sick and really tired, I'll be fine."

Suddenly his arms curled around her and he hugged her carefully to his chest while he whispered into her ear. "You are my best friend, you can talk to be about anything. Don't forget that, H."

Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears slowly welled up and spilled over.

* * *

As soon as he had thrown Hermione out and could be sure that she was gone and not standing infront of his door, Draco had left his room.

His feet dragged him through a blur of corridors, steps and rooms until he had found himself inside of the boy's bathroom on the sixth floor. His back was turned toward the door, his hands gripping the sink he was leaning over.

"You are such an idiot, Draco Malfoy." He said, his whole body was shaking. "What did you think...how could you do that..."

"Don't be upset. Tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help you." The sudden voice startled him and his head snapped up.

"GET OUT!" he yelled at the ghost and Myrtle vanished into a nearby toilet.

Draco wheezed and swallowed hard, leaning back over the sink, his shoulders caved in. The familiar taste of acid filled his mouth and he lunched forward as his stomach emptied himself into the rotten sink. The single torch at the wall flickered as the sound of his gagging grew louder.

Slowly, he leaned up again and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. He felt nauseous, his stomach twirling and twisting inside of his body. He stared into the cracked mirror infront of him and suddenly saw the faint outlines of Hermione's face appearing in his mind and on the mirror's surface, strangely distorted. The look on her face as she had screamed at him, horrified and angered at the same time. He felt an aching pull inside of his chest as he began to also remember how her smile had grown bigger at the mention of her parents, how beautiful she truely was without even knowing.

"I almost gave up hope on finding you." A voice muttered behind him and Draco rushed to turn around.

"You!" He exclaimed and scowled.

Draco was staring into the enraged face of Theodore Nott.


	16. Chapter 16

**I adapted the Sectumsempra scene in this chapter and changed it to my needs, I apologize for those who will recognize differences in the translation. Once again, I am not english and I do not possess the original version, so I translated and changed it as best as I can. I also know that Theo is quite OOC in my story but to be honest, we don't get to know much of him in the books and I always pictured him as evil, as you can see here.**

* * *

Theo's slim fingers played with his wand, spinning it around lightly as he walked toward Draco. One wary step after another until he stood just about two feet away from him.

"What do you want?" Draco asked, his fingers already curling around his own wand.

"Oh, you know, I just wanted to ask you some things." He said in a voice that sounded much like if he was inviting him to a tea party. Draco felt himself stiffen but didn't respond.

"I'm sure you must have realized how our dear friend Potter suddenly became the top of class under Slughorn," he began and fixed his eyes on Draco as he began to slowly pace up and down infront of him. "First, I thought that Hermione must be tutoring him but then again, I remembered that she isn't one to let even her friends copy her homework. I'm quite proud of my Hermione, I might say." Draco flinched at Nott's remark, his eyes darkened. He didn't seem to notice and continued. "Then, one day in Potions Class, I saw how Potter repeatedly reached into his bag and grabbed for something, his eyes wandering quickly as if he was reading something and then he continued to work. I realized that it must be a special book he was reading different instructions from. Or something like that at least, I couldn't be sure."

On other occasions this piece of information might have been interesting to Draco but he couldn't care less at this point.

Nott took a step closer to him and began to speak again, his voice still nonchalant. "Soon after, there were rumors going around, rumors about a book which once belonged to a student who is now a teacher at our school. A book full of spells, both dark and light. My interest was already woken before but this made it so much better. I had to get it. And let me tell you one thing, Draco. It was really easy to get it but I don't want to bore you with the brilliancy of my plan," he added and laughed, a sound so full of egocentrism that it made the hair on the back of Draco's neck rise up.

"Remember my little punch?" He suddenly pointed out and aimed his wand carelessly at Draco's face. "I think I had given you quite explicit instructions not to see Hermione again. And what do you do? Take her to a little walk around the Lake. Why yes, I saw you," he added as Draco opened his mouth. "Wanted to be a little romantic? A pathetic try. And yet again, you spent the day with her. But you know what? I might have even let it go, handed you that one, if I wouldn't have found her a few minutes ago. She was crying her eyes out and I didn't even have to ask her why, it was written all over her face that you upset her. God help you if you touched her," he growled, his voice suddenly more than livid.

Draco wanted to protest; to shout at him, do anything, but all he could think of at this very moment was that Hermione had been crying.

_Because of me._

Theo saw the sudden change in Draco's face and smirked, not interrupting his prancing. "I didn't even have to tell you that I am in love with Hermione, you just seemed to know. I don't know for how long already but you must have been sure of my feelings as soon as I beat the shit out of you." Draco nodded slowly but didn't say anything. "I also don't know if you are aware how lucky you actually are. She knows you exist, somehow you managed to get to spend time with her and you spit on that privilege, kick it with your dirty shoes. I'd do anything, and I mean anything, to be allowed to visit her at nights. But I'm telling you one thing, Draco. She finally knows I exist."

A vicious grin appeared on Nott's face, his eyes changing as if he was daydreaming. Draco finally opened his mouth.

"What did you do?"

He shook his head lightly, his hand shot up and he brushed his fingertip very slowly across his bottom lip. Draco watched him with disgust and rose his voice. "What did you do to her?"

Nott seemed to ignore his question. "Have you ever touched her? Or even had a taste of her?" He watched with amusement how Draco's eyes widened in horror. "She has a very special taste, my Hermione. It reminded me of strawberries...yes, I think that's what it was...she tasted like strawberries and honey. So delicious."

"Sh- she kissed you?" His voice was shakier than Draco wanted to admit to himself.

Nott chuckled and nodded his head at him. "I had to force her a little but I think she enjoyed it. Quite a lot, if you ask me. I reckon that's the reason why she asked for another kiss."

Draco couldn't believe, didn't want to believe what his ears seemed to hear. This must be a dream, a nightmare, for all he knew.

"You are lying." He said, his jaw tightening.

"Oh am I?" Nott asked sarcastically. "You should know that, if given the chance, everyone would rather kiss me than you. Anyone apart from Pansy, of course."

"You sick bastard," Draco barked between his clenched teeth, he didn't notice that his knuckles were white as he gripped his wand tighter, clinging to it in the knowledge it was his only weapon apart from the force of his punches.

With a flick of his wand, Nott sent Draco flying back into the sink behind him. He walked closer as the light haired boy struggled to right himself and pointed the wand at his throat. His voice was a hiss as he spoke. "You will stay down!" He met his eyes and held his stare. "You! How dare you call me a bastard? You have absolutely no right of judging me. Who do you think you are? You are pathetic, Draco Malfoy. PATHETIC!" He spat right into Draco's face and stepped back, releasing him from the spell. Draco wiped his face and jumped to his feet, pure anger radiating off of him as Nott turned his back on him and spoke. "Remember the dark spells I just mentioned? I think I'd like to try some of those out on you now."

"You call me pathetic? You force a kiss on someone who has absolutely no feelings for you, I hope for your own god damn sake that you didn't hurt her or else I will kill you." He struggled to keep his voice even, but his face was full of fury. "You love her for fuck's sake, so why hurt her?"

"Why so caring hm? But I didn't hurt her, Malfoy. I told you she enjoyed it, squirmed under my hands and moaned my name into my mouth."

"SHUT IT!" Draco snapped and lunched himself at Nott. With another flicker of his wand, Draco went flying against a toilet cabinet.

"I am not done with you yet, get up," Nott sneered and watched him as he struggled to get up, groaning in pain. "I told you, I don't tolerate that you hurt my Hermione. She will not shed another tear because of you."

"She isn't yours," Malfoy yelled and spit a mouthful of blood out. "She will never be yours."

Nott's curse missed Draco only by inches and hit the single torch at the wall; Draco threw himself to the left, thought _Expelliarmus _and flipped with his wand, but Nott blocked his curse and lifted his own wand, to cast another -

"No! No! Stop it!" Moaning Myrtle screamed above their heads and her voice echoed loudly through the room. "Stop it! STOP!"

There was a loud bang and the dustbin behind Draco exploded; he tried a Leg-Locker-Curse, which missed Theo's ear only by an inch and smashed the flushing tank beneath Myrtle, who screamed loudly; water flooded everywhere and Draco slipped, while Nott yelled with a grotesquely distorted face, "You will not hurt her agai-"

He stopped, frozen in his motion as Myrtle flew toward him, collided with him and went right through him. Draco, who had had his fare share of those kind of intercourses with ghosts, immediately knew how Nott felt like as his mouth opened in both surprise and disgust. Without arming himself any further, he turned to thank Myrtle.

Draco didn't see it coming, Nott moved faster as any lightning and aimed his wand at Draco's back, right at the spot above his heart and yelled "SECTUMSEMPRA!"

He staggered forward, blood spilled out of his face, his mouth and chest, as if Nott had slit him open with an invisible sword. He tumbled a few steps back and collapsed with a loud thud onto the soaked wet ground beneath him, sending splashes of water everywhere. His wand fell out of his saggy right hand as he began to wheeze and clutched at his chest. His hands were shaking as he felt for his cuts.

Skidding and almost slipping Theodore Nott rose to his feet and turned around, leaving Draco to die as Moaning Myrtle began to sob and scream.

"MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!"

* * *

Draco Malfoy had never given so much as one thought about dying at a young age. In fact, he had never really thought about dying at all.

_'Death is reserved to those who are weak, Draco. Not you, my son. You are a Malfoy.'_

His father's words suddenly appeared inside of Draco's head, it was just a quick flicker, so brief that he wasn't sure if he had heard them at all but it was enough to set him off; even now his shoulders began to tighten instantly.

As scared as he was, staring up at the stony ceiling of the boy's bathroom while his body spasmed, ready to give up; he had to admit that he wished his father had been right.

Lucius Malfoy's voice continued to creep through Draco's mind as the life slowly faded from his body. Hours later, Moaning Myrtle talked to Nearly Headless Nick and would swear on her death that she had heard him whisper a name, a _girl's name_. But Draco was already gone and wouldn't remember any of this.

* * *

Hermione carelessly pointed her wand at a nearly mealted candle on her desk and doused it before she crawled under the thick covers of her bed and curled up into her usual sleeping position; on her left side, her arm stuck beneath her head and her right leg pulled up so that her knee almost touched her cleavage. Her eyes slipped almost instantly shut, ready to drift off into sleep she needed badly.

She cursed loudly under her breath as a knock on her door made her jump up.

"Why can't anyone just leave me alone? Is that too much to ask?" She grumbled and pulled a strand of hair out of her eyes, laying back down she rolled on her side and shut her eyes. This had to wait, it was nearly 1 am for Merlin's sake.

The knocking became more powerful; whoever stood out there seemed to be really impatient.

Impatience was wearing off for Hermione too, in this very moment she felt like she was capable to smack someone just for the mere satisfaction of it.

"Come on Hermione, open the door damn it! I know you are in there," Ron yelled in deep irritation.

"I want to sleep, go to bed Ronald," she groaned and pulled the covers over her head, not caring if he had even heard her.

"If you don't open the door in ten seconds, I'll force it open. I'm not even kidding, Hermione," he yelled, but Hermione could identify an edge of insecurity in his voice.

For a second, Hermione wanted to wait to see if he would really do it, then thought better of it and crawled slowly out of her bed. "I'm coming," she groaned and threw a robe over her body and opened the door. "What's the matter, Ronald?" Her voice was unnaturally bitter.

A wide grin spread over Ron's face and he stepped forward, embracing her in a tight hug. She squirmed a little and patted his shoulder. "Oi, careful there."

He released her with a mumbled "Sorry," and walked around her, entering the room. Hermione shut the door reluctantly as he sat down on the edge of her bed. Her eyebrows slowly pulled together and she stared at him. "What's going on?"

Without warning, he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her next to him. Hermione noticed the faint outlines of a blush on his face.

"Ronald, you are starting to worry me. Just spill it already."

He cleared his throat obnoxiously. "I...uh...just wanted to see you," he declared with a short shrug of his shoulders.

_Oh no, not again._

"You would have seen me tomorrow morning at breakfast?" Hermione reminded him and rolled her eyes. She really wasn't in the mood to spend time with Ronald, or anyone in particular. She was tired and had the strange feeling that her mouth was filled with a taste she wasn't keen on ever tasting again. For a split second, Theodore's face rushed through her mind, his expression as he had lunched forward with pursed lips. She shuddered lightly and drew her attention back to Ron.

He looked slightly uncomfortable and his blush turned deeper, he shifted nervously around before he spoke again. "Yes, but...I wanted to see you now. Harry told me that he saw you earlier and that it seemed to him as if something was off. He mentioned that you looked like you were being chased or something. So I got worried and wanted to check on you...did you run from anything?" Ron asked and his eyes searched for hers.

"No, I didn't," Hermione lied easily. "Look, I'm really tired. Can't we talk tomorrow?"

Ron looked taken aback and nodded his head down, staring at his lap where he played nervously with his finger, struggling to find the strength to say the next words. "My heart has always been yours, you know that right?" Ron whispered slowly. "Ever since I first saw you, I was like stupified. You were so different, not like other annoying little girls, you were much more mature. Maybe because you have such a strong backbone, you never had it easy in the Wizarding World because of your heritage." Hermione stared at him, unsure if she wanted to have this kind of conversation. She suppressed a yawn. "And while I was there when you grew up, I watched how you became this outstanding young woman..." She sighed out a deep breath as she felt the tiredness become stronger and she crawled across the bed and leaned against her headboard, Ron didn't seem to notice that she had moved at all. "I thought you would share my feelings for you and when we started to spend more time alone, I really believed you did. I am still in love with you Hermione, even though you broke my heart when you told me you didn't love me. But, I am very much willing to wait...whether you like it or not." He finished his monologue with an insecure laugh and turned his head to look at her. His smile grew bigger.

Hermione was curled up around her pillow, her long curls covering most of her face which was a mask of peace.. Her chest heaved and sank slowly. He got up and pulled the covers away, crawling into bed next to her he tucked her in tightly and snuggled up to her, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, sleep tight honey." He shut his eyes and fell to sleep immediately, a soft feeling of happiness dominating his dreams for once.

* * *

Severus Snape hated to be used as a messenger. It seemed to him as if Dumbledore's only purpose in life was to use him and send him around to deliver messages whose importance weren't important to Snape himself at all. Then again, he thought as he paced through the Great Hall, he had to keep up his spectacle, his camouflage, and couldn't deny this wish, no matter how much he wanted to.

His dark hues searched the Gryffindor table until he spotted a bushy head of hair whose owner leaned close to someone Snape recognized as the youngest Weasley boy. He stood behind them and rose his voice, amused to see how their bodies seperated in surprise.

"Mr Malfoy requests to see you, Ms Granger," Snape declared. He watched her face change from surprise to confusion and then to something he couldn't quite grasp. Was she glad?

"What does he want?" Hermione sputtered out and ignored Ron who had opened his mouth to protest.

"That is none of my business, Ms Granger. There had been an incident and he's at the Hospital Wing at this moment." He turned on his heels as he had successfully delivered the message and saw out of the corner of his eyes how Hermione quickly got to her feet.

Ron grabbed her hand and held her back. "You don't have to go."

She bit down on her bottom lip and looked between Snape's figure vanishing out of the Great Hall and back down at Ron. "I...have to go."

"Please, don't." Ron pleaded and tightened his grip on her hand. She slowly detangled her fingers from his and turned to walk away.

"Hermione, please!" His voice rose so that several heads turned to look at them.

Without another word she rushed off, not seeing the hurt expression on Ron's face.

* * *

She needed less than three minutes to rush upstairs.

Hermione felt a little bit awkward standing infront of the Hospital, her hand on the doorknob. Why couldn't she just enter? Why was she even here to begin with? She couldn't quite tell why she even cared about Malfoy and his wish to see her, she knew she should have stayed with Ron.

_Ron._

She had been surprised to wake up next to him this morning, she merely remembered how he had visited her and talked about Harry; everything after that wouldn't come back to her memory. Hermione was sure she had fallen asleep on him, she was embarrassed because she somehow had the feeling that Ron had wanted to talk to her about something important. Was she really embarrassed? No, she was grateful, she had to admit to herself. She was ninety-nine percent sure that Ron had talked about his feelings and asked her to give him another chance. By falling asleep she had spared herself an uncomfortable conversation, but she also knew she couldn't go on like this forever, she knew that Ron was hurting because of her.

Finally Hermione turned the door and walked inside, the first signs of a beautiful sunrise illuminating the room.

* * *

**I'd like to know my reader's opinion on this, please don't be shy to review this or previous chapters. Are there any parts you don't understand? Do you think I'm rushing things? Criticism is always welcomed, it makes me strive to be better. I usually listen to music while I write so song suggestions are helpful too. Without you guys, this story wouldn't be where it is now, so thank you.**


	17. Chapter 17

Hermione had to hold her hand infront of her eyes as she entered the room.

The sun was peering brightly through the window, a perfect play of colors as the sun slowly rose above the far away mountains which were only a thin line in the distance. If she had any artistic skills, she thought, this view would have been worth painting.

The Hospital Wing was nearly empty apart from one bed which stood the furthest away from her. Draco seemed to be asleep, a blanket was covering him and reached up to his chin, the sunlight danced across his face and his hair looked even lighter than Hermione had ever seen it. Also, she had never seen him this handsome looking, the sunlight promoted his high cheekbones; he was handsome even now as his face was covered in bruises and cuts which were only slowly healing.

Draco turned his head and looked at her from across the room, with a solemn look on his face. "Hermione," he croaked, his voice weak.

Hermione simply nodded and forced herself to move, passing the other beds until she stood infront of his, only about a foot away from him. "You look horrible," she examined with a critical eye. Draco laughed bitterly and began to choke as his body was shaken with his laughter, it seemed to cause him pain to move much.

"I can't always look like a God," he mumbled.

She rolled her eyes at him and accio'd a chair which stood across the room and sat down, praying that she didn't look as nervous as she really was. "Why did you want to see me?"

With a bitter grunt he slowly scanned his surroundings, his stormy eyes settling on her face after a while. He stared into them for a long minute, deliberating how much she could stand to know.

But no, she had to know the truth. At least, most of it.

"Look, I am sorry," he said, dragging out each syllable. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did, yesterday."

"Uh...it's fine," she lied and looked down to hide a soft blush on her face. If this was going to be one of those talks, she'd rather look everywhere apart from his eyes.

It was her insecurity that rattled him the most, couldn't she understand that he was trying to apologize. Trying to protect her?

Draco stopped. What was he even thinking? He looked up at Hermione again, forcing those thoughts out of his mind for now.

Hermione turned to Draco with a weary and half-shut stare as he remained silent and he cleared his throat carefully. "I know that I scared you."

"W-what?" she asked soflty. She met his eyes, her jaw was set and a vein near her eye twitched for a split second.

"You heard me," he answered simply, his eyes suddenly cold. "You saw my Dark Mark and I freaked out." He looked away and heard how Hermione gasped loudly as he mentioned his mark. He waited a full minute before he spoke again.

"I am becoming a person I never thought I would be, a person I never wanted to be. You might believe that I want to be a Death-Eater and there might have been a time where I did want to be one," he continued truthfully and looked back at her, Hermione's expression was unreadable as he spoke again. "But this time is long gone, believe me please."

Hermione stared at him after these words. Seeing the pained look on his face she decided not to question it, instead she rested her hand on his arm and Draco brought his eyes to hers and said, "I am not evil, Hermione."

"I wish I could believe this," she murmured and slowly pulled her hand back and placed it on her lap. "I wish I could believe that there is no evil in the world at all. It would be so much easier, wouldn't it? We wouldn't have to fear a war which I know is coming closer with each second that passes. All of us would be able to just concentrate on our studies, plan our future lives, the usual. We would have a chance on a normal and more importantly, happy life. But while we are talking, there are Death-Eaters out there who are planning to destroy us, us Mudbloods and the world as we know it."

Draco was surprised about her answer and stared at her a little longer, his voice became hard. "And I wish I could tell you that you are wrong about this."

"Why did you join them?" Hermione heard herself ask as she looked down again, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"I can't tell you," was his answer.

"That's all? You can't tell me? Oh that's really original, Malfoy," she snapped and jumped to her feet, throwing her arms up. "This is all you have to say?"

"_That's all?_" Draco echoed, a crease slicing across his forehead with impatience. "This is the best answer I can give you without putting you in any more danger."

"Shut up!" she suddenly shouted, scrunching her eyes closed and fighting with her anger. "Just shut up, please."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" he fired back. "In case you haven't noticed, I apologized to you and I'm trying to explain you certain things."

Her glare flickered with the blur of upcoming tears, but she fought them back before he could notice. "You are the most spoiled and selfish person I've ever know," she suddenly told him, stressing each syllable.

"Tell me something new, Granger," he snorted.

"W-what?" she asked and stared unbelievingly at him.

He shifted around on his bed and tried to sit up further, cocking an eyebrow when she took some more steps away from him. "You are always so convinced that there's good in everyone, you even told me that much," he began and glanced over at her. She didn't protest. "That's a character trait I started to adore about you, believe it or not. Because I wanted it to be true, I wanted to believe so badly that there is still something good left inside of me, regardless of what I did or what I am supposed to do.

"You are a Death-Eater, Malfoy. I hate to break it to you but those people aren't good," she protested and stepped closer.

"Do you think I don't know that?" he hushed her, and he almost sounded lonely. All this yelling was making Draco's head hurt, there was a disturbing throbbing in his temples that he couldn't stop.

She sent him a fierce scowl and he noticed that it was so much more intense than any look she had ever given him before.

"You are spiteful," she hissed and tried to steady her sparking emotions. "You act like you are poor little victim when in reality, you aren't a victim at all. You adore the Dark Arts and joined Voldemort, for fuck's sake." She turned around, her hair whipped from one side to another with fierce. Even now, it amused Draco to watch this.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," she muttered, forcing herself not to look back. "I am done with this, I am done with you..."

"Hold on, please," he protested and threw the covers across his legs and tried to sit up. "I am not done y-"

His voice broke as his legs gave up under him, the wrong twist and his wounds had reopened, the pain was much worse than the occasional flash of pain that had bothered him since he had woken up in the Hospital Wing.

Hermione was at his side in a rush, lifted him to his feet and forced him back into his bed. Draco closed his eyes in desperate concentration, he didn't even notice the red magic pumping through his chest and into his body as Madam Pomfrey leaned over him. Seconds later, he was put to magical sleep and didn't notice anything, apart from the strange feeling of being alone.

* * *

If he was alone, the feeling didn't seem to be that bad after all.

He felt soft velvet skin against his and he found himself squeeze his fingers around others.

"There is nothing wrong with being alone," he muttered suddenly and tried to open his eyes but his body wouldn't listen to him.

"You are not alone," someone whispered close to his ear.

He smiled softly and drifted back to sleep, not without adding a quiet "You are here."

* * *

Draco lifted one heavy eyelid as he felt a sudden pressure against his chest. The whispers of a stormy night had started to wake him up a few minutes ago already, the wind pushing and rattling the blinds outside of the windows, but it was for the strange touch that he woke completely. His brow furrowed and he forced his head to lift up to be able to eye his surroundings suspiciously.

He could tell that it was late at night, the lamps and candles inside of the Hospital weren't lit and the blinds covered Madam Pomfrey's office, as well as the windows around him. He clenched his teeth together and his eyes went to the closest window, trying to ignore the rising pain in his abdomen where the cuts seemed to be the worst. Shit, this really began to hurt now. He hadn't had enough rest; his movements were sluggish and his sight became blurry.

His memory went back to the boy's bathroom and Theo's outraged face; Draco had always believed that he knew him, that they had become best friends over the past few months. But what did he really know about people anyway? He didn't have many friends, any relationships to people in general. Apart from his family, but they didn't count for various reasons. For one, they were family. There had to be some kind of a relationship, no matter if it was love, anger or hatred. And secondly, he didn't particularly consider his relationship with his parents as fortunate. His father was at Azkaban after all and his mother...well his mother would be dead soon if he wouldn't kill Dumbledore.

A female purr leaked through the air and he instinctively looked around for its origin, making him forget Dumbledore immediately. When he found it, he suddenly also knew what had woken him up in the first place.

Hermione's feet were resting on her chair still, her torso half-laying across him. She seemed to be comfortable nontheless, her ear was pressed against his chest and she had curled up against him as if he was a pillow. She was sleeping peacefully.

Draco thought that he should probably move as his chest started to hurt worse with each breath he took, her weight adding unnecessary pressure to his body. But he didn't care about his wounds at all, he didn't know for how long she had been laying like this already but he certainly did know that he didn't want this moment to pass. He wanted to devour it, burn and brandish it into his memory and keep it there forever. This was a small but significant memory he would most likely remember for the rest of his life.

Draco was suddenly sure that this memory was capable of conjuring the most powerful Patronus the Wizarding World would ever see.

* * *

He fought down a yawn. He was afraid that if he yawned, she would wake up and had to move, probably even flinching away from the unknown proximity to him. But the pain became nearly unbearable so he shifted as slightly as possible, righted himself up against his pillow just for an inch. He even held his breath until he was sure that he hadn't interrupted her sleep. Very slowly, he wrapped his left arm around her frame and placed his hand on her back, his thumb rubbing slow circles on her skin. He shut his eyes and sighed relieved as the pain decreased.

How strange, months ago, even a few days ago, he would have never thought it would be possible that Hermione Granger would ever be so close to him; that he would not only allow this to happen but even enjoy it. And how much he enjoyed it. He risked the forbidden; he bent forward and pressed his lips against the top of her head. He didn't know what prompted him to do so, but he couldn't seem to help himself. A whiff of strawberries hit his nose and he inhaled deeply. She moved lightly, and he expected her to pull away, but she didn't. She pressed into him instead, snuggling up closer.

The Slytherin boy had a vague idea that this was wrong, there was something that told him that much. Something which oddly resembled his father's voice.

_'Always hold your head up high and be proud to be a Malfoy, be proud of your ancestors and make sure the Malfoy line stays pure. This is your resposibility, son.' _Lucius Malfoy's voice was harsh inside of Draco's mind but it sounded to him almost like he would be sitting across from him, both in their favorite armchairs infront of their fireplace at home. The memory flooded through his mind and he shut his eyes, not surprised to see exactly that image appear behind his lids.

* * *

_It was late August, the first signs of a weather change had come and painted every leaf; every nut, bolt and screw. A cold breeze constantly tangled through the air and pushed against the glass facade of their library. It was cold, too cold for August and the room was lit by a cozy fire crackling in the fireplace._

_Draco's head was tilted down, studying his old copy of _'Les Mémoires de d'Artagnan' _while his father read through the latest _Daily Prophet._ There was a silence between them which lasted for hours already._

_The light hair boy finally cleared his throat and approached his father. "Tell me again please, why exactly do I have to read this...muggle book?" he asked and made a face._

_Lucius Malfoy didn't look up from his newspaper as he answered. "To educate yourself, son. I have arranged a few dinners with very nice and lovely girls. One of them happens to be french. Wouldn't it be nice to know her mother tongue and mark the beginning of the new Malfoy line by having a proper conversation about contemporary french books?" Lucius smirked, baring his white teeth._

_"I am only thirteen, father!" Draco protested and slammed his book shut. "I don't want to meet girls," he grimaced and shook his head forcefully. He didn't even like girls._

_"So?" Lucius looked slightly surprised. "Well, that's unfortunate, certainly. But you see, I am just trying to take care of you and your future, I don't want all the girls from the respectable pureblood families gone just because you don't realize the importance of your own responsibilities," his father explained and his expression darkened._

_"Fine," Draco said, knowing he would only lose. He couldn't argue his father._

_"You're a good boy," Lucius remarked coldly. "You'll need an heir one day, Draco," he continued. "You know how the tradition works; you cannot access your rightful gold until you are married. I sincerely hope you find yourself a_ suiting _wife one day."_

_"I know," Draco answered quickly and opened the book again, his father nodded in approval._

_"I think it would be best if we invited Miss Parkinson for Saturday," Lucius threw in casually. "She's in your class, if I remember it correctly?"_

_At this, Draco nodded slowly and rolled his eyes. Pansy was annoying to him with her usual batting-her-eyelashes-licking-over-her-lips-demeanor. It disgusted him._

_Lucius stared at his son for a long time, frowning disapprovingly at Draco's lack of concern and interest. The fire continued to crackle restlessly, muffling the sounds of turning pages._

* * *

_Where am I?_

Draco shifted his weight and pursed his lips, analysing the situation in his head. He faintly remembered falling asleep and dreaming about Hermione curled up against him and his father; his home and an old conversation. He stole seven long breaths and tried to swallow back the anguish stuck in his throat. How odd that he had dreamed about Hermione. He forced his eyes to open and was baffled to stare into a pair of tawny eyes close to him.

Hermione's chaotic hair was a halo of Autumn leaves which tickled his chin, her head was still nestled against his chest and her eyes were lightly red-stained. How long had she been awake already? He suddenly realized with a barely audible gasp that she was still laying on is bed, her arm wrapped around his waist. It was then, that he also remembered the moments before his dream, that not everything had been a dream after all. She had really been sleeping next to him, he thought with a grin.

"I...uh, I'm really sorry for this," Hermione mumbled between a yawn and got up, seating herself back on the chair next to his bed. Draco suddenly felt anxious. Her fingers combed nervously through her hair in an attempt to flatten it but it didn't help. "I think I fell asleep on you," she explained with a crimson blush coloring her cheeks.

His eyes locked on hers, rain-cold fighting through a sunbeam.

"Do you always sleep like this?" Draco asked.

Hermione frowned. "Mhm," was all she said, her blush still dominant on her face.

Draco bit the inside of his lips and stared at the window, through the blinds he could only see the nightsky darkened with a veil of raindrops falling down like little dancers in the spotlight.

"Why are you here?" he questioned finally, deciding that the silence was far too irritating.

Hermione shrugged nonchalantly, looking down.

"You don't know yourself, do you?" Draco muttered dryly. He could barely hide the urgency in his voice.

She frowned. "I guess you are right."

He smirked. "You guess?"

Hermione nodded slowly, still not looking up.

The silence became unbearable.

"Who did this to you?" Draco heard Hermione whisper. "What did they do to you?"

"They?" he repeated confused. "You think Death-Eaters did this?" Draco inquired and waved his hand at his chest.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "They didn't?" Her eyes met his, and to Hermione, the look in those grey eyes was answer enough.

He didn't answer, he didn't know why it mattered. She had her stern prejudices, nothing he could say would change her opinion.

"You know I care about you, right?" said Hermione suddenly, her eyes still fixed on the texture of her robe.

"Excuse me?"

She still didn't look up. "I said I care about you, Draco."

"I heard that but I wasn't sure it was coming out of your mouth Granger," he retorted and saw with a feeling of relief that she finally looked up.

"Prat," she muttured, not without a barely audible chuckle. He loved that sound.

Draco laughed coldly, taking in what she had just said. She cared about him. Hermione Granger cared about him, Draco Malfoy. The reasons were laying in darkness for him, instead he let their meaning settle into his mind and was surprised to feel a sudden emotion of comfort. His expression changed into a warm smile which didn't slip Hermione's attention, the corners of her mouth lifted up into a smile too. He didn't have to say that he cared too, his smile was telling her enough.

"Tell me who did this?" she required again and watched Draco's face darken. She missed his smile already.

He cleared his throat, pondering on his answer. "I don't know what curse it was, I could hear the incantation but I have never heard of it before, nor did Madam Pomfrey as soon as I told her," he began and let his gaze wander around the room. He grimaced. "Snape told me that if he had found me as much as a minute later, it would have been too late. Meanwhile, if he would have found me a minute earlier, he would have been able to heal me completely and I wouldn't be here right now, as far as he told me. This curse literally cut me open as if I was a pig at the slaughterhouse, blood poured out of me..."

"What incantation?" Hermione interrupted suddenly.

Draco's head turned to look at her and he frowned. "It was called _'Sectumsempra'._"

There was a look on Hermione's face, remarkabely close to recognition but he wasn't sure.

"I am afraid that I have never heard of it," she lied easily and blinked at him, indicating him to go on.

He stared at her, still irritated but nodded.

"I reckon you want to know who did this?" Draco asked but didn't await her response. "Why don't you ask one of your two admirers?" His voice came out harsher than he had planned and he wasn't surprised to see Hermione's face turn white.

"Ron couldn't have done this!" she protested immediately and within a blink of his eye she was on her feet. It impressed him to see how fast she could move if she tried. "I know he didn't do this, I will swear infront of the Ministry if I have to..."

"Slow down a little, Granger," Draco groaned and held his hand up. "I didn't -"

She ignored him and brought her hand up to rub her palm against her temple, deeply lost in her thoughts. "They can't sue him, he spent the whole night with me..."

"He did WHAT?" Draco screamed and Hermione jumped slightly, turning to look at him.

"Wh-what?" she echoed, her eyes glowing.

Draco's eyes seemed to send tiny flaming arrows her way as he sat up further on his bed, pushing aside the thought of his growing pain. "I never even accused Ron! It was Theodore, for fuck's sake. But sure enough, you defend your little red-head immediately, don't you?" His voice was suddenly full of anger and hatred, his eyes unnaturally dark.

"Hold on a second," Hermione hissed at the Slytherin, tears suddenly springing to her fiery glare. "Theodore did this?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Granger." Draco blurted, his cheeks flushing with blazing fury. Hermione twisted her neck so she could look at Malfoy again, and she felt bile singe the back of her tongue. She felt sick.

"Wh-why?" The brunette stuttered, struggling to keep her voice low.

"He wanted to teach me a lesson," he answered bluntly and kept his gaze on her face. He was almost sure that one of his wounds had reopened again but he didn't care, he had to handle this first. "He was jealous of me and on top of that, he had found you crying and assumed it was my fault which just pissed him off even more," Draco added with a shrug.

"I...wasn't," Hermione mumbled, taken aback.

"Weren't you?" Draco echoed and snorted. "I thought I had made sure to upset you," he lied effortlessly, not knowing why he did. But somehow, he gained a strange satisfaction from this. Just one more hit, one more hit before his time was up. One more hit until she was safe.

Hermione's eyes widened and she crinkled her nose. "What are you talking about?"

"You seem like you enjoyed yourself yesterday," he said, ignoring her. "Snogging Theodore first and then getting boinked by the weasel. I applaud you, Granger. Must have been a tough night for you."

"You spineless twat," Hermione snapped and curled her lips up, her face changing into a grimace of fury. Later, she didn't remember if she had planned to move but she was suddenly sprinting over to him. When she was close enough, she drew back her balled fist and rammed into his face, hard enough to scorch her knuckles. Dark blood slithered down his chin and her fingers and she drew her hand back for another punch but Draco had moved and grabbed her wrist firmly.

"How dare you say that?" She cried out, fresh tears blurring her sight. He used his other hand to wipe away the trickle of blood that was leaking from his lip with an expression that was far too hurt, he wasn't allowed to be hurt right now.

"That's enough," Draco barked and tightened his grip on her, flinching slightly when it hurt to move his lips. Great, as if he wouldn't be in enough pain already. She tried to remove his firm hand from her skin but he wouldn't have that. He wouldn't take much more of this. "I protected you," he finally said.

"You're lying," she warned, a sound much like a growl echoing from the back of her throat. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh am I?" Draco repeated with a meek tone. "If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be here right now."

Hermione felt something in her chest drop, none of this made any sense to her. She wished she wouldn't have come here. Slowly, he shoulders slumped in and her body relaxed slightly. Carefully, Draco let go of her arm.

"Got over your little hissy bitch-fit?" he mused, purposefully keeping his distance. Outside the sky began to turn to a dark shade of indigo when Hermione shifted on her feet. "I hope this is eating at you," he whispered harshly. "I hope that this is tearing you apart-"

"Piss of, ferret" Hermione hissed with a weary look and turned on her heels.

"I lost control over everything," Draco shouted after her, his voice suddenly pleading. "The only thing which I was in control of lately was to try and pit myself against Theo." Couldn't she see that?

Hermione didn't seem to listen, she accelerated her steps instead.

"I protected you, Hermione!" Draco screamed, suddenly wheezing as he rose his voice. He stared down his body and saw how the bandages around his chest were stained with blood. "Please get Madam Pomfrey," he suddenly said, nothing more than a whisper.

Hermione stopped at the door and turned around enough to look at him, from the distance he could tell that her cheeks were wet.

"You know, I really wanted to believe that you had changed. That there is something good in you. I was wrong to think there was. You are evil, Malfoy, and you always will be." Her words were interrupted by tiny sobs erupting from her chest. Without another glance she opened the door and rushed outside.

How strange that Draco felt as if not only blood was leaking out from him.

* * *

**Oh my, this chapter turned out to be much much longer than I had expected. Should I apologize? Nah, I'm sure that none of you mind (; Let me know what you think, it was really exciting for me to write this and I'd love to know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Part Two**

* * *

_______And right now there's a war between the vanities_.  
_ But all i see is you and me_.  
_ The fight for you is all I've ever known_,  
_So come home_.  


_(One Republic - Come Home)_

* * *

The sun streamed through the window almost carefully at first, only growing brighter very slowly until it lit up the room completely and danced over the Slytherin boy's face. Draco's eyes opened slowly and he groaned, immediately regretting it. He sealed his eyes shut again and slowly rolled himself over, facing the wall.

"Morning Draco," a very much awake Pansy chirped.

"Mhm mhm," he groaned and stuck his head under his pillow, trying to ignore the birds outside. Had they always been that loud?

Slowly Pansy's body moved, causing the bed to shake as if there was an earth-quake tearing the ground beneath them open. He groaned again.

"Try to be quiet, please," he mumbled sleepily, not bothering to look up or open his eyes again. Instead, Pansy began to hum a melody he didn't know and slid next to him, she wrapped her arm around his waist and planted a soft kiss on the back of his neck. Draco grunted in response.

"Did you sleep good?" she asked and snuggled up to him.

He considered this, frowning to himself. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to invite Pansy over yet again and have some shots of Firewhiskey. His frown deepened. No, he hadn't slept good at all, he felt hungover. Yet again.

Pansy ran an impatient finger down his bare sides until it rested on top of his hip, drumming softly.

"Pansy..." warned Draco and pushed her hand away. "Not again."

"I didn't have enough yet," she murmured seductively and suddenly Draco felt her hand running down further his body.

"Shit," he muttured under his breath and rolled onto his side to face her. He might be hungover, but not too hungover to turn down this offer. His mouth crashed into hers and a strand of her black hair grazed over his face. As he shut his eyes, he couldn't help but to think of silky brown curls.

* * *

The last couple of weeks had been both torture and pleasure for Draco. Torture because the day after he had gotten out of the Hospital, a very infuriated Snape had visited him and reminded him of his Patronus lessons. With Granger. Pleasure because in his spare time, he had developed the habit to call for Pansy for their very own kinds of _lessons._

Occasionally, when he was left alone and trapped in his own four walls, he would think about whether it had been right or wrong to rekindle his relationship with Pansy. He tried his best not to think about it, it was easier at night when Pansy was pressed up against him; always willing, always warm. It was those times that his mind just very rarily drifted to Hermione Granger.

_Hermione._

Hermione's face appeared in his mind and roused a reluctant shiver going down his spine. After their fight, he hadn't seen her for almost a week. The Easter Holidays had come and she had vanished into the Muggle World with her minions Potter and Weasley. When he had seen her again, she had looked differently, happier, and he soon after had found out why.

Granger dated the Weasel.

He didn't know the details; the when's, the how's or the why's and he didn't care, didn't allow himself to care. He remembered how he had stared at her back then in the Entrance Hall when she had passed him, his jaw had set as soon as he saw Hermione's hand in Ron's. He had had to force himself to shake the grudge from his face and pull his customary sneer back into place. He had passed Ron in the corridor and slammed his shoulder into the other boy. 'Do you still regret coming for me?' he had asked and left without awaiting his answer, bemused to watch the Weasel's baffled expression.

Next thing he remembered was that he had snuck up on Pansy in the Common Room, wrapped his arms around her and pecked her cheek lightly.

Time passed faster since then.

At first, she had just been a way to pass the time with kisses in secluded alcoves in the corridors. He got caught up in the demons that he faced with each and every day, things that were beyond his capability and out of his control; his task to kill Dumbledore in exchange to keep his parents alive. The constant pressure had overwhelmed him and this had seemed like a good way to forget his demons, even if it was just for a few rare moments. Sometimes it even felt good to have her hand in his, ready to give him comfort.

It was strictly physical, he reminded himself, his own personal mantra each time he used her body to lose himself. She loved him enough to let him use her; to accept the fact that he could end this any time soon, yet he still found himself coming back for more.

Always willing. Always warm.

Pansy was his escape from the unforgiving reality he lived in.

In his thoughts though, he often traveled back to the Black Lake.

He shut his eyes as Pansy nuzzled her face into his neck and a scene filled with thunder washed through his mind.

* * *

"Why didn't you invite me in?" cried Ginny.

Hermione gripped the common room chair she was sitting in tightly with one hand while nervously twirling and playing with the gold and red fabric between her fingers, her cheeks flushing even brighter.

"It was a spontaneous decision," Ron explained matter-of-factly and shoved another Chocolate Frog into his mouth and pressed his back firmer against Hermione's leg. She wiggled lightly under his weight, wondering why on earth he had to sit on the ground like an infant. Was it so hard to sit on a chair like a civilized person?

She rubbed her lips together nervously, frustrated with herself. In fact, she was more frustrated with Ron but she didn't have the guts to tell him that he acted immature, clingy even. His self-esteem was low enough already.

"But I would have loved to go to Hermione's house and see her parents again," Ginny continued and scowled at her brother and Harry. If she was expecting any encouragement from her boyfriend, she was out of luck. Harry was deeply lost in his _Daily Prophet _and didn't seem bothered at all that he had spent the Easter Holidays without his girlfriend. He didn't seem to care about anything, in fact. Hermione felt a sudden jolt of sympathy for Ginny.

"You can come next time?" Hermione suggested to calm her. "We were all packing up and I had the idea to take the boys with me, I'm sorry we didn't ask you." She put a soft smile on her face, hoping it was convincing enough. To be honest, Hermione admitted, she hadn't even thought about inviting Ginny too, the decision to visit her parents with Harry and Ron hadn't been spontaneous either. They had been planning this trip for a while, eager to leave the Wizarding World and its complications behind. Spend some Golden Trio time together, how Fred and George would have called it.

Ginny's glare told her that it wasn't convincing enough. "It would have been interesting for me to see more of the Muggle World, you know," she began and shrugged. "To see where Harry came from, what things from a Muggle House we could use for our own too..." her voice trailed off and she threw a longing stare at Harry. Again, he didn't seem to be listening and Ginny finally snapped, reaching over she smacked her hand across the back of his head.

"Ouch!" Harry yelped and rubbed his head, groaning. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"For not paying any attention to me," Ginny said sourly and crossed her arms infront of her chest. Ron giggled.

"I'm sorry, but I want to know what happened while we were gone," Harry explained and waved the _Prophet _at her face. Ginny's brows pulled together and she grumbled something under her breath which sounded remarkably close to _"You can see what happens when I shove that thing up your arse."_ Hermione surpressed a chuckle.

"Anyway," Ginny said, a lot calmer now. "You could at least tell me how this happened."

Hermione's face changed to confusion. "How what happened?"

Ginny put on a sweet smile and waved her hand at Hermione and Ron. "You two, of course."

Suddenly, Ron's demeanor shifted and he sat up lightly, poking his chest out. If he was trying to look proud, Hermione thought, he was clearly failing. Right now, he rather looked like someone who was mocking females with their back problems due to cup size. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, we were in the living room and watching this thing...I forgot the name but that big square thing with people living inside of it," Ron began sheepishly, knowing perfectly well how it might sound what he was going to say and barely able to look Ginny in the eyes because of it, "I wonder how they even fit in there!" he finished quickly, more to himself than the others. "Anyway, we were watching this movie, Harry called it _chick flick _but I don't think that was really the name of it. We had a few butterbeers, Hermione less than Harry and me but she was the one who was knocked off her arse," he added and turned around to smile at her. Hermione chose to ignore his comment. "That one girl was called Mandy Moore but also Jamie Sullivan, which I don't get...but we played this game that whenever we thought she looked like Moaning Myrtle we had to take a Firewhiskey shot," Ron continued and began to burst into laughter. "We had quite a lot of shots, actually, and halfway through the movie, Harry fell asleep. So it was only me and Mione watching and then I suddenly see Mandy...Jamie, I mean, kissing that boy, so I leaned over and kissed Hermione," his voice began to trail off and his ears turned a dark crimson colour.

Ginny's reaction was full of confusion and disgust. "So you two shagged infront of Harry?" she cried.

Ron's cheeks and ears flushed even brighter, if that was possible. "Of course not," he said quickly, sounding taken aback.

"I think I would have noticed if they had begun to shag right next to me." Harry finally said and looked up from the paper. Ginny stared at him in disbelief.

"You've been listening this whole time?"

"I don't know why you think I haven't. I am paying attention to my two best friends who finally removed those sticks they had up their arses for years now and finally got together, as much as I am also paying attention to my girlfriend who is so eager to scold me instead of being happy that I am back," burst Harry furiously.

Ginny's mouth fell open and Ron's expression turned glum at the mention of his former behaviour. Hermione looked at Ginny, then back at Harry. "Guys..." she began but Harry held a hand up to interrupt her and rose to his feet.

"No, I want to hear why she's acting like this."

Baffled, Ginny fought for words to explain herself but nothing came out. Her eyes darted to Hermione, asking her for help. Frankly, Hermione wanted to know the truth herself so she merely shrugged. Ginny sighed a desperate sigh and got to her feet, facing Harry.

_This could get interesting,_ Hermione thought much to her surprise. She didn't want them to fight, yet she was eager to watch what would happen.

"You know, everyone is moving on," Ginny began and flipped her long hair around, her face suddenly furious, a few shades darker than her hair. "On to the next step. Do you even know what that means, Harry?" she snarled and his eyes widened. Ron stopped unwrapping his seventh Chocolate Frog and stared at his best friend, too.

"What are you talking about?" Harry demanded.

"Everyone is making plans for their future and I'm not talking about what kind of work they want to do once they are done with school," she continued and glared furiously at him. "Not once, did you drop any hint about _our _future. What will happen with us once you are done? You will leave Hogwarts and I will still be stuck here for another damn year. Did the Chosen One ever choose whether or not he would wait for me?" A hurt expression leapt over Harry's face at the bitterness in Ginny's voice but Hermione and also Ron knew that there was more to it.

"I can't make plans like everyone else, Ginny. You know that, how many times do I have to tell you? There is a war coming up and nobody knows what will happen, if anyone of us will even survive this," he explained calmly.

Hermione's mouth had dropped into utter horror, this was the first time that Harry really spoke his concerns out loud. Did he really fear that no one would survive?

"That's just an excuse you are using for everything," Ginny fought back and threw her hands up. "Excuses, excuses and more excuses. Did you even listen when I just talked about our own house? Do you even care?"

"Do you think I can walk around and hire real estate brokers to go find us a house?" he shrieked. Ron opened his mouth already to ask what he was talking about but Hermione put her hand on his shoulder, signalizing him to shut up.

"It would certainly be nice," cried Ginny, fighting back a wave of tears. "Did you hear about Malfoy?"

Hermione's head snapped up and she stared at Ginny in confusion.

"Hear what?" Harry insisted, impatiently.

"I've heard Lavender tell Parvati who got it from Luna that Malfoy and Parkinson are taking the next step, he asked her to marry him. If he can do it, why not you?"

An invisible ice-cold hand pierced into Hermione and twisted her guts very slowly and painfully around.

"Who the fuck cares if he gets married or not? I am not even seventeen yet, _Genevra, _and we will be in the middle of a war soon." Harry's voice grew louder and he suddenly looked threatening. So did Ginny as Harry called her by her real name.

Ron jumped up and stood next to his sister, putting a comforting hand on the small of her back. "Calm down, Ginny. Harry's right, who cares about stinking Malfoy?"

Ginny shrugged him off and threw a quick glance at Hermione. She swallowed hard.

"This is not about Malfoy, damn it," Ginny said and looked at Ron and back at Harry. "But if you are really interested in who cares about it or not, why don't you look into the mirror, Ron?" she growled vividly.

Ron looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"You still think Hermione shagged him so I guess you are lucky to hear that he is off the market now and no threat to you anymore."

"He was never -"

"Wait, what?" Hermione snapped and cut Ron off. "You still believe those rumors?" Her tone had risen in pitch and her face was sprinkled with a few red spots. Her gaze flickered between Ginny, Ron and Harry, who all looked slightly uncomfortable. "Are you telling me that _all of you_ believe them?"

Harry shook his head and smiled a sad smile. "I know you, Mione. You would never in a million years lock your lips with Malfoy. He is something like your personal enemy. You guys despise each other."

"I always thought Draco was your personal enemy?" Ron threw in and Harry rolled his eyes at him.

"This is not about him and me, mate. Sure, we despise each other just as much, if not even more. But it doesn't bother me if he calls me names, I've grown used to it. Scarhead is my personal favorite, I think," he added with a chuckle to lighten the mood but it didn't work. Hermione still felt like the whole conversation had gone nuts. Just like her friends had gone nuts right infront of her eyes. "But what I am trying to say is," Harry continued and gave Hermione a solemn look. "I know that it still bothers you that he has nothing better to do than call you mudblood day in and day out. I'm sure he does it when you are training him, too. It hurts you," Harry concluded and Hermione was surprised to feel herself smile. It felt good to see how well Harry knew and understood her, even though she had never mentioned any of this to him. Not even the fact that when Hermione and Draco were left alone in the Room of Requirement their conversations were always limited, not more than the necessary instructions coming from her.

_Malfoy also called me beautiful once_, Hermione wanted to say but thought the better of it.

"It hurts you?" Ron asked in disbelief but Hermione chose to ignore his question. She turned around instead and shot a wary glare his way.

"You believe I had a one-night stand with Malfoy?" she asked dryly, fighting for composure. A few heads around them turned and began to listen bluntly, craving new gossip.

Ron rubbed his palm against the back of his neck as he struggled for an anwer, Hermione tapped her foot lightly. "Uh, well...I certainly hope you didn't, babe. But, I wouldn't mind...well no, I would, but it wouldn't matter anymore. You are with me now...you don't need to shag others," he stuttered and smiled innocently.

Hermione couldn't believe her ears. Did he really think she was one of those girls who jumped into bed with the first person she could find? If that was true, he had some serious issues, or rather, their relationship had some serious issues.

Hermione shook the recent past with Draco out of her head, there was no use in trying to figure out how she had gotten herself into such a mess, she had to find a way to make Ron and most likely Ginny as well believe that she had never slept with Malfoy.

Slowly, she moved, and turned toward Ginny whose expression was unreadable. "Do you believe it too?"

Ginny sighed and shrugged. "I don't know what to believe, Mione. Draco stayed in your room, after all. I would assume the same if Ron stayed at your room over night and quite frankly, I did assume you two were getting intimate back when he did," she admitted and blushed lightly.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "But Ron and I never had sex, so why would I be so daft and sleep with Malfoy?"

Harry who had been silent the last few minutes stared at Hermione and Ron, his mouth slightly open. "Never? Are you kidding me?"

"What did you guys think of me? Really now? I wouldn't sleep with Ronald just because I'm suddenly in the mood, I would want it to be something special. We weren't even dating back then, if you remember. I'm not going to throw that away for Malfoy." Out of the corner of her eye she saw how Ron hung his head slowly. Didn't he agree with her?

"Ron aside for a second. I trust Mione when she says she didn't sleep with him, I trust her with my life so why wouldn't I trust her with this too? Not to mention that I think she has better taste than that to begin with," Harry declared and Hermione mouthed a quiet 'Thank you', he nodded in response.

"So you really didn't sleep with him?" Ron whispered and Ginny, Harry and Hermione turned to look at him. He shifted around on his feet, avoiding their eyes as he spoke. "It would be okay, really..."

"Harry, do me a favor and knock some sense into your best friend while I'm at the lessons," Hermione adressed him, ignoring Ron on porpuse.

"I'll see you later." With that, she leaned toward her armchair and grabbed her long, bottle-green cloak before she strutted off, rushing out of the Gryffindor's Common Room as fast as she could. All she wanted was to get away from Ron and his accusations, not caring that she still had over an hour until she would have to meet Malfoy. But getting out seemed like a good idea, for all she knew right now.

* * *

Things had been very rocky between Draco and his tutor lately. They met once a week, every Sunday night at 8 pm. They barely spoke. He wasn't bothered by this situation—in all honestly, he quite enjoyed it. At least, that's what he was constantly telling himself, trying to convince himself that it would be better that way. Draco knew that Hermione seemed to care less and less about him and their time together, she had given him explicit instructions not to ask her anything personal ever again.

This had been his very first lesson. Do not ask Hermione Granger any personal questions. So Draco remained mostly silent and always listened to her and what she had to say or what she was trying to explain to him. After a while, he didn't have to speak at all. A nod here, a glare there. That's all he needed to do and he thought that this was also all that Hermione was able to tolerate.

Especially after that one incident at their second lesson where Draco had absent-mindedly brushed a finger against her shoulder. Rule number two had come right away. Do not touch Hermione Granger.

So now Draco also stayed out of Hermione's way, so Hermione, of course, returned the favor.

That was why Draco was so surprised to see Hermione walk toward the Room of Requirement that day. He checked his wrist watch. 6.37 p.m. Why was she early?

Hermione looked just as surprised as her gaze met his. She brushed the back of her hand across her left eye and swallowed hard. "You are here already?" she croaked.

Originally, Draco had planned to spend the next hour with repairing the Cabinet until the lesson started, he would have never thought that Hermione or anyone else would show up.

_At least you are not in there, blocking the room. That would have made her suspicious of me if I would have come out of there to let her in later._

"I wanted to practice a little without you, see if that would be any better," he lied brashly. He was prepared for a snippy comeback but Hermione didn't answer right away, she seemed to be lost inside of her mind.

He cleared his throat obnoxiously and snapped her out of her reverie. "Did it help?" she asked, much to his surprise.

"Nope, still no progress," he admitted. He could tell by the tone of his voice how much it frustrated him.

Hermione walked past him and began to pace up and down infront of the wall, speaking the desire inside of her mind until an old door appeared infront of them. He found himself wonder what exactly she wished for every time they met. He opened his mouth to ask but stopped immediately.

_Do not ask Hermione Granger any personal questions. _A sound much like a howler ringed through his ear.

Was it a personal question though? After all, it had something to do with their lessons. Somewhat at least. But then again, she would most likely consider any question which didn't include the word 'Patronus' as personal.

She opened the door quietly and he slid in after her, locking the door as it fell shut.

Once again, he was astounded by the interior. It was equipped with several old and comfortable couches, though Draco knew they had nothing to do with their lessons; he guessed that Hermione simply wanted it to look a bit homely. The wall on their left was entirely covered with shelves, thousands of books lined up one after another. One day, he had caught Hermione reading '_Self-Defensive Spellwork', _and she had explained that it wasn't much use for their task. It hadn't slipped his attention that she had been reading simply for her own enjoyment.

"C'mon Malfoy, we might as well start already if we are both here," Hermione said and threw her cloak on a nearby couch. Draco's eyes wandered to her right hand and he wasn't surprised to see her wand between her fingers. This was another lesson he had learned, even though Hermione had never voiced it herself. She seemed to be afraid that he might end up hexing her, so she was always armed with her wand.

"Why?" he jeered gruffly. "It is not working, Granger."

Hermione rolled her eyes impatiently. "You aren't trying hard enough."

"I am," he sneered and positioned himself about four feet away from her, staring into her eyes with a challenging expression carved into his face.

"No, you aren't. If you were, you would be able to at least produce something silver, much like a breeze. But you can't even do that right and until you cannot, I won't be able to ask Snape to provide us with a Boggart to practice," she answered as a matter of fact and sighed deeply. "What was the last memory you used?"

"My first broom ride."

"I told you that wouldn't work, Malfoy."

"It didn't work for Potter."

"And not for you either, obviously."

His eyes narrowed, as if he could detect he was being made fun of. "That's the happiest memory I can think of," he replied coolly.

"Why don't you try the one where Pansy accepted your proposal?" Hermione heard herself ask.

Draco's jaw nearly hit the floor, his stomach erupted into nervous flutters. "What are you even talking about?" he demanded loudly.

"You heard me."

His body went stiff and he shook his head in disbelief. Could it be Draco's imagination or did Hermione actually look hurt?

"I don't know what made you believe this, but I am not engaged to Pansy. I don't plan to propose to her, either," he heard himself say.

"But you are dating her again." Hermione stated without a doubt in her voice. She looked tired, her eyelashes cast long and deep shadows under her eyes. She still looked beautiful though, Draco thought and nodded slowly.

"Something like that, it's complicated." He bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes burning into hers. She held his gaze and her eyes narrowed.

"When is love ever not complicated?" she mused and walked over to the couch, leaning against the armrest. She suddenly felt furiously vulnerable again, much to her frustration. What was it about Malfoy that she always felt this vulnerable, as if he could stare right through her and know her down to the core of her heart?

"Excuse me?" Draco asked, confused and he dared to take a few steps closer to her. He felt the sudden urge to make her smile, to have her laughter echo through the room.

"Nothing," she mumbled and rubbed her hand across her forehead repeatedly. "Let's continue, I could use some positive energy right now so please try it harder." She righted herself and met his gaze again. "Try something else...first year maybe? When you nearly won the House Cup."

Draco scowled. "That's hardly a happy memory. You beat us on the last day." Hermione continued to look at him but didn't say anything.

"Why do you think love is always complicated?" Draco nagged and lowered his gaze to the floor.

"It's none of your business, Malfoy. No personal questions," she reminded him harshly.

"Troubles with Weasel?"

"It's complicated," was all she said and Draco finally let it go; he gripped his wand tighter and Hermione nodded approvingly. "Something happy, please."

He rolled his eyes at her but obeyed, there was a sudden impact in the back of his head and an image began to form. He shut his eyes and concentrated, pointing his wand at her.

_Expecto Patronum. Her laugh. Expecto Patronum. Her smile. Expecto Patronum. Her face._

"Expecto Patronum," he suddenly yelled and felt his wand stagger within his grip, it seemed to shake from an invisible force and he peeled his eyes open. There were wisps of silvery mist, exactly how Hermione had described it to him weeks ago. He looked over at her and she began to clap enthusiastically.

"You did it, Malfoy." Hermione screamed. Both her face and her voice were full of joy, so charming and inviting that he couldn't help but drop his wand and walk over to her, closing the distance between them within two seconds. His arms wrapped around her waist and he lifted her off the ground, spinning her around.

"I did it, I really did it." He chanted and laughed, feeling a sudden jolt of happiness. Hermione joined his chanting and laughed warm-heartedly, her hair falling free from her ponytail and cascading down her shoulders, the soft curls tickled his skin.

Slowly, he dropped her back on her feet and drew away from her. Hermione gazed up into his eyes as a wide grin played over his features. "What did you think about?"

He didn't answer, his eyes gazed deeply into hers. His hand reached up and he tucked a strand of her curls behind her ear, which sent a soft shiver down Hermione's spine. All of a sudden, all of her nerve endings seemed to be on fire, yearning for his touch. She was hypnotized by his eyes, and then found herself staring back into them. Neither of them said anything, just enjoyed one another's company.

"Autumn leaves," he finally whispered slowly and leaned closer, embracing the touch of those soft brown curls.

* * *

**Gosh, it just keeps getting longer and longer. I had told myself to keep the chapters around 2,600 - 3,200 words and this is over 5,000. But I just couldn't find a perfect point to split it. I really hope you enjoy this, thanks to everyone who put this story into his/her favorites so far or wrote reviews. It means a great deal to me (:**


	19. Chapter 19

Hermione gazed up at Draco then, her eyes wide and searching as his breath danced across her face. He was immediately thrown off balance by the intensity of her stare, especially because he was ninety-nine percent sure that she had never looked at him like that before. She moved closer to him and Draco's breath caught in his chest by the sudden change in atmosphere around them. Before he knew what was happening, her hands reached up and she rested her flat palms against the fabric of his robes. Her long curls scraped against his skin and he tried not to focus too closely on that, he let his gaze wander across her face instead and took in the beauty that was right ahead of him.

But yet so far away.

Hermione jumped a little and tensed up when his hand moved slowly to trace the fine curves of her bones along her jaw. She suddenly seemed so small and breakable.

"Hermione," he whispered in a low and husky tone.

Her dark eyes catched his own once again and he lost himself easily in them. Faintly, he took in how shallow and ragged both of their breaths suddenly were. His senses were consumed with a lightly floral scent that radiated from her; Draco could almost taste the sweet scent and the yielding softness of her skin as his fingertip wandered down her exposed throat until it reached her collarbone. Her skin was warm from the flow of blood beneath it. He wondered if he would be able to hear her heartbeat if he moved closer. Would her pulse flutter just like his? She remained very still, frozen in place and blinked.

"What are we doing?" She whispered back, her gaze not moving.

A grin toyed at his lips as he answered. "Trying to prove that love must not always be complicated?" She joined his chuckle and shook her head.

"If anything, this is complicated. Really complicated," she defined and half-shut her eyes as she drew in a deep breath. She should push him away, Hermione thought, but she wasn't sure if she was able to think clearly to begin with. On top of that, the sudden closeness gave her a jolt of safety. At least she thought so.

Hermione leaned closer, if that was possible, and rested her forehead against his chin. A voice in the back of his mind told Draco that he should make her move away, that this was forbidden and he would most likely have to pay for it later. But at this point, he didn't care. He brushed his nose across her forehead, the scent of her perfume danced against his nostrils and he inhaled deeply. His senses suddenly seemed to be clouded and he had to struggle with finding a response.

"It doesn't have to be complicated, Hermione," he whispered slowly and pulled back, just an inch. His gaze dropped to her lips and he smiled lightly. Her lips were parted and looked unbelievably inviting and soft. Would she mind a harmless kiss? A light peck, lasting no longer than a second? He knew then, as his gaze wandered back up to her eyes, that he wanted to kiss her so badly that he would never be able to kiss her just for a second. He wanted to catch her lips with his and never let go again. Crush and melt them together.

He felt a pain much like a lash of a whip go through him as Hermione suddenly pulled away from him. She ran a nervous hand through her hair as she put some distance between them, seating herself on one of the couches. Draco watched her bewildered as she wrung her fingers, her gaze fixed on her lap.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked carefully and moved closer. Hermione shook her head, still not looking at him.

"Did you ever feel like running away?" she whispered quietly as a breeze.

A frown ran over Draco's face and he thought about how much he could tell her. To be honest, Draco admitted to himself, he often considered to just run away; to flee from the responsibility of his name, to get away from the consequences of his choices but he knew one thing for sure: The Dark Lord would always find him.

"Doesn't everyone?" he asked with a shrug and sat down too. He sprawled his long legs out and crossed his feet, settling his gaze on the side of her face. She seemed to be upset. "Doesn't every teenager feel like that, out of place, broken and somehow different?" Draco could see how much Hermione disapproved being reffered to as someone who felt broken and different.

"So you have never done it?"

"Not really, no. Why are you asking?"

"I have," she mumbled and turned her head around to smile sadly at him. He pulled his eyebrows together and urged her to go on.

"You have what exactly?"

"Thought about it, I mean." Hermione explained and shrugged her shoulders. "It was around the time when Voldemort came back."

Draco flinched lightly and Hermione raised her eyebrow at him. "What, you are afraid of a name?"

"I am afraid of the man who wears that name," he said faintly and turned his head to look away. Hermione continued.

"I knew that I would never be safe again, as much as you can be safe in the Wizarding World to begin with. But I knew he was out there again and that he wanted revenge, which of course, put Harry into danger. Me and Ron are the closest to him so we would be easy targets and on top of that, I am a mudblood. I know that he would like to see me bleed until there is no more filthy blood inside of me."

The Slytherin boy was surprised at her tone and the brutality of her words, Hermione made no attempt to sugar-coat the truth. He scooted across the couch and sat closer to her, relieved to see that she didn't flinch or move away as he reached out and grabbed her hand. A weak smile crossed her lips instead and he smiled in return.

"You should do me a favor," he began and his infamous smirk appeared on his face.

"What?"

"If you ever get the urge to stop thinking about running away and to just do it...let me know okay?" He glanced sideways at her and smiled encouragingly.

She chuckled softly. "Okay."

"Why do you call yourself a...a Mudblood?" he asked and a light blush darkened his cheeks. Until now, it had never bothered him to use that term, this insult, infront of Hermione but it suddenly seemed to be so much more spite - and hurtful.

"You wouldn't understand it," she explained and rose to her feet swiftly. There it was again, that strange feeling to be utterly and completely vulnerable infront of Malfoy. There was something about him, maybe the strength of his eyes or the soothing sound of his voice that made it so easy for Hermione to be herself and speak her mind. No matter the consequences.

"Try me," he said seriously and she turned around to look at him. She groaned and wrapped her arms around her frame as she nodded. The crackling sound of the fireplace somewhere back in the Room of Requirements muffled her words as she began almost shyly, but Hermione found the courage to speak freely as soon as she gazed into his calm stormy eyes.

"...is hard.I'm proud to be a Mudblood...I know this is hard to understand for you, for someone who was born into a world where everyone caters to you just because you are a Malfoy," she began and met his eyes with hers, smiling apologetically. "But some of my biggest rolemodels are Muggleborn and they did a change in this world. Some of them don't even know about our world, they are _just_ muggles. But those who do live in our world...they didn't think of their heritage as a complication, they thought of it as an opportunity to make the world aware of the fact that we are just as good as the rest is. Of course I know that there are some things...some traditions that I simply don't understand at first because it is some ancient magic...much like the spell which protects your family gold until you are married to a pureblood. Yes, I know about that," she said as Draco looked at her surprised. "But just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean that I can't learn the traditions or adjust to them. However...," she made a pause and threw a deliberating glance at the Slytherin boy before she continued. "You cannot help how you're born. The only thing you can do, though, is to acknowledge what and who you are and do the best with what's given to you."

There was silence when Hermione was done speaking, her hands slowly relaxed their grip on her robe and she stared at Draco.

Draco was perplexed but his expression was closed. He knew she had a point, as much as the idea of that point disgusted him. For so many years, he had constantly been tought that th person who was standing infront of him right now was filthy due to her bloodstatus. But she was right, she couldn't help how she was born, as much as Draco couldn't help how he was born either.

Two worlds.

Two sides.

_What side was he on?_

Even before they had started to be close to each other, they - He stopped for a second. Close? Were they even close? He thoroughly liked the sound of that, though. However, he used to think of her of someone who was proud of her heritage, even though it clearly brought obstacles along. Until now, he had never known the reasons behind all of it, why she never seemed to care if he himself or someone else called her a mudblood.

"What?" Hermione asked as he remained silent. His eyes settled on hers and he fought for words.

"Who are your rolemodels?" He finally asked.

Draco heard her chuckle. "You wouldn't know them."

He raised his left eyebrow in return and she smiled. "Do you have any idea who Jane Austen is?"

Draco rolled his eyes but nodded. "I do, in fact."

"Really?"

He cleared his throat theatrically and sneered. "Jane Austen...English novelist whose work earned her a place as one of the most widely read writers in English Muggle literature."

Hermione's eyes widened and she stared bewildered at him. "How do you know that?"

The light haired boy shrugged his shoulders and waved his right hand. "It would surprise you if I told you that my father, as much as he hates Muggles, thought it would be a good idea to read their literature, get to know their habits and such. To defeat your enemy, you have to study them. That was his philosophy. So I was provided with a new muggle book from a different genre each week." He chewed on his bottom lip. Somehow, he found it inappropriate to tell her that there was another reason; that it was supposed to serve his reputation as Most Wanted Bachelor in the Pureblood community to be well-educated.

Her jaw nearly hit the floor as he finished. Draco, who held a grudge and hatred against Muggles for as long as she knew him, was familiar with her favorite literature. She was stunned, in all honesty.

"Who else?" Draco asked and watched her with growing amusement as her eyes lit up and her body seemed to relax. Talking about her favorite authors seemed to make her happy, helped her to loosen up, he realized. Hermione sat back down on the couch and leaned her back against the armrest, an almost challenging look on her face as she gazed at him.

"Emily Brontë?"

Draco nodded approvingly and gave her a warm smile as he began to quote. "_Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you — they'll damn you. You loved me — then what right had you to leave me?_"

Hermione was speechless.

He grinned.

She suddenly rose an eyebrow. "Are you asking for a kiss, Malfoy?"

He shrugged and smirked. "I would never."

"Never?" She asked tensed and focused on his expression. Her heart was pounding, her eyes staring him down.

He shrugged and smiled crooked. Hermione wrinkled her nose and tried to regain her composure.

"Why should I?" He finally asked bemused.

"I...I don't know," she stuttered and dropped her gaze quickly. Draco watched a hint of a blush appear on her cheeks and he laughed.

Short scenarios began to play themselves out in her mind; how would he approach her once he found the courage? What could be possibly said to accurately express how she was feeling? _How would he respond to her in return?_

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his grin growing bigger. Hermione moved her gaze back to his face and smiled gently but shook her head.

He knew then that one part of Hermione actually _wanted_ him to come closer and kiss her. When did that happen? When did she become somehow attracted to him? She was breathing hard, not able to take her eyes of his face. She bit her lower lip and watched him sitting just a few inches away from him. Draco groaned quietly. Why hadn't he ever realized before how inviting and torturous this lip biting thing was?

And without thinking about anything else, he scooted closer and grabbed her wrist to pull her up against him. She jumped a fraction and a tiny gasp escaped her lips. His free hand moved to her chin, his thumb stroking against her soft skin and moving upwards to tug at her bottom lip. Her eyes widened in surprise and Draco maybe even saw a glow of longing inside of the depths of her eyes.

Her mouth was soft beneath his when he finally shut his eyes and lowered his head, crushing their lips together. A firework exploded in the pit of his stomach at the softness of her mouth. Her arms slowly moved around his neck and she dug her fingers into his hair, clinging to him as her lips parted and invited him in. They groaned simultaneously as Draco's tongue brushed against the tip of hers, gently at first before he dove into the warmth which was her mouth. It was like a heating rush to his body as she tightened the grip on his hair, her body melting into his and pulling him along as she leaned back on the couch. He followed her willingly and slid between her legs, his nose brushed against her heated throat. His sense for their surroundings, for time, seemed to vanish and everything concentrated on her. She was the only thing that mattered.

His lips moved in a whisper across the exposed pulse point of her neck, and he felt its rhythm jump erratically as he planted a row of kisses across her skin, tasting the sweetness it held while his hand slid down the length of her body and rested on her thigh. Hermione shivered beneath him, she could feel the cold touch of his hands even through the fabric of her robe. His breath was sweet and hot as it danced across her neck. She was on fire.

_This_ was what real magic meant.

What it could do to her.

What _he _could do to her.

She grabbed his chin and pulled his lips back up to hers, his smile dominant even in his kisses. She couldn't get enough, didn't want this to ever stop. Her hands began to explore his body, it was overwhelming to feel his rapid heartbeat under her hand. Draco pressed firmer against her and moaned loudly when her hip brushed against his. It was hard for him to concentrate, his mind was much too clouded but he had to force himself to go slower. He wanted to taste every second of this. It became harder when her hands went under his shirt and explored his body, she enjoyed the feeling of his perfect skin under her fingers.

Draco took a second to watch the beauty beneath him, his eyes wandered over her face; her glowing eyes, her slightly swollen pink lips and her messy hair. She was beautiful, even more so since she looked incredibly sexy at the same time. He grinned down at her and she smiled seductively. Very slowly, as if she was trying to enjoy the moment, she pushed his jumper over his head and leaned closer to drag her moist lips over the rise of his collarbone.

"Hermione," Draco choked out and gazed deeply into her honey coloured eyes. Almost tenderly, Hermione scraped her fingers down the length of his arms as she covered each and every inch of his body that was within the reach of her lips in kisses. He sealed his eyes shut as a frantic shiver rushed through his body.

Suddenly she froze and Draco's eyes flew open.

Her sight seemed to become blurry as she brushed her thumb very carefully against a patch of skin on his left arm and it took him a moment to realize what she was looking at.

It was his Dark Mark.

Draco sighed, a sound which startled Hermione. She quickly straightened up and pulled back, muttering a quiet but determined "Get off of me." He frowned but obeyed, leaning away he grabbed for his jumper to pull it back on. Hermione's hand snapped forward and she grabbed his wrist. He flinched.

"What the fuck?" he spat out but sealed his lips shut again as he saw how Hermione used the back of her free hand to rub away the first sign of tears which blinded her eyes. Draco studied her curiously, but Hermione avoided his gaze. She pulled on his wrist and drew him closer, her eyes studying his Dark Mark with such force and hatred that it made Draco feel far too revealed infront of her. He was surprised that the force of her stare didn't set his skin on fire.

If looks could kill.

"Did it hurt?" Hermione mumbled and cleared her throat as she realized how shaky her voice sounded. "Getting that?"

"Not much," Draco lied dryly, frowning when he noticed the glittering drops of tears imprisoned between her lashes. "Why are you crying?"

"Forget it," she croaked and let go of his wrist, leaning further away until she had enough room to get up.

"Hardly," he argued and rose to his feet himself. "You're hiding something-"

"I have to go," Hermione answered with a fierceful shake of her head.

"Just tell me what's wrong," he persisted and stood infront of her, lowering his head to try and see her face.

"Get away from me, Malfoy."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong, what I did," he refused sternly and she lifted her gaze to throw a glare full of hatred at him.

Hermione took out her wand and watched him seriously. "One move, Malfoy, and I swear I'll hex the hell out of you!"

"You won't," he retorted dryly and stepped closer to her. "If you wanted to curse me, you'd have already done it." She glared at him but his hand reached out and snatched her wand out of her grip.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Hermione screamed with a sudden surge of anger. "GIVE ME MY FUCKING WAND BACK, YOU JERK!"

Draco sighed but made no move to hand it back to her. His eyes pierced directly into her eyes and he sneered.

"Asshole!" she shouted and he looked at her murderously. It only infuriated her more. "Don't you fucking look at me like that, Malfoy."

"Like what?" He inquired calmly.

"Like you don't care about anything."

Draco laughed in response, a laughter filled with sarcasm.

_If I don't care, I'll eat my bloody broom._

"I just can't do this if I don't know what side you are on," Granger turned around to leave him behind, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. She struggled against him but he only grabbed her firmer.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"Let go off me, Draco," she shook her head fiercely, trying pull away.

"What the FUCK is your problem?" he spat furiously. "What did-"

"Nothing," she screamed back at him and slipped out of his grip. "Just leave me alone!"

Draco stared wide-eyed at her and she took the opportunity to reach out and steal her wand back before she turned on her heel and ran toward the door.

"FINE!" Draco yelled at her back. His eyes were full of rejection but of course, Hermione wasn't able to see that as she was running away from him. "Just fucking go back to your precious little Weasel."

The brunette froze in place, just inches away from the door. She drew in a shuddering breath to ease her shaking limbs and turned around slowly.

"How does it feel, hm?" Draco continued and walked over to her.

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione inquired, her voice cracking.

"How does it feel when you touch him?" he asked, almost yelling. "Tell me!" he added. "Does it feel good?"

But Hermione didn't have any answer to his question. She felt stranded, she couldn't say a word; she couldn't even look at him without feeling his pain. She lowered her eyes as Draco came to a halt infront of her, she knew he was still looking at her with his deep green eyes, she knew that they would tell her what he was feeling. She could understand his feelings even. His feelings were hers.

"How does it feel when you're in his arms?"

"How does it feel to have Pansy in your arms?" Hermione retorted in a bitter tone. He ignored her.

"Do you love the feelings he gives you? The happiness? The fuzzy feeling inside of you? The butterlies? When he makes you feel like there's nothing in the world to worry about?" he cried, but a bit lower. "When he makes you forget about life, about your problems?" he added. Hermione could hear his breath above her, see the rapid movement of his bare chest heaving and sinking. He wanted her to look at him, but she couldn't. She was afraid to see the full force of his feelings stare right at her.

"Do you like it? Enjoy it?" It hurt to hear his pain in every ounce of his voice, it hurt so much to feel it, too.

"And…" he said, his voice breaking more and more while he was speaking. "And how does it feel when he tells you that he loves you? That you are the most important thing to him?"

It was then, that Hermione met his gaze. His eyes were wide, sparkling in the depths of his dark pupils as he stared at her.

Hermione gulped down the emotion wedged in her throat. "He doesn't."

Draco blinked.

"He doesn't make me forget about life, my problems," she continued and dropped her gaze again. She couldn't bear to watch him look this vulnerable at her. "I don't know that fuzzy feeling...the happiness...the butterflies. I never felt it before."

_Until now_, she added in her thoughts.

The idea of someone not giving her that feeling; that feeling she deserved, the feeling that he wanted so desperately give her, made his head throb and his blood boil up under his skin. His storm-grey eyes studied her face cautiously.

"Shouldn't it be like that though?" Hermione asked quietly and a heartbreakingly sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "He should give me that feeling that nothing in the world matters apart from us being together...but he doesn't. To be haunted is the only feeling which consumes my heart and mind. One day I want to know what it's like to wake up in the morning and not feel in danger. And Ron cannot give me that."

The strength of her realization hit her but she had seen it coming. Hermione hardly recognized the bitter taste it left on her tongue.

Every shade of color left Draco's face. "Neither can I, Granger." He suddenly felt empty but he knew what he had to do, knew it the moment he had gazed so deeply into her eyes that he could tell her feelings, that he knew he wasn't good enough.

That he would _never _be good enough.

They weren't on the same side.

Were they?

"But I have that feeling with you," she stammered but he merely sneered, content with himself that he was right.

"You are interpreting too much into this. Hey, a little quickie would have been nice but you can't possibly expect to ride into the sunset with me."

He had to become meaner, Draco decided, harder. Words weren't good enough to scare her off, to save her from him. Even though he hated himself for this, he placed his hands on either side of her hips and drew her closer.

"I enjoyed every moment with you, I swear. We should find an adequate ending to this."

He pressed his lips hard on her mouth. All the sweetness, all the tenderness had vanished. Hermione gave a little cry of surprise against his mouth_._ Draco kissed her hungrily, demanding and brutal. His teeth nipped carelessly at her bottom lip as she began to fight against him. He let his hand slip under her blouse and placed it on her breast.

"Stop..." This is wrong, she thought full of despair. This wasn't how it should be, how she wanted it to be. "You are hurting me, Draco."

"C'mon Baby." Hell, her skin was pure silk beneath his fingers. He wanted to stroke her, enjoy her, seduce her. Instead he hurt her, even though he knew that the marks he was leaving on her skin would vanish faster than those on his conscience. Or her heart. "You know that we both want this."

"No!" Sobbing she pushed him away and crossed her arms protectively infront of her chest. "Don't touch me."

"So you were playing with me all along? Made me look like a fool?" He forced himself to stare into her eyes which were so full of pain and horror that it was heartbreaking.

One or two more pushes and he knew his would break too.

Hermione could hardly see him through her tears. "You don't give a damn about me..."

"That's not true," he admitted with a sigh. "What do I have to do to make you sleep with me, Granger? I'm sure I can recite another one of your precious books."

"I cared about you," Hermione cried out.

There it was, his heartbreak.

She already used the past form, he noticed glumly. To kill her feelings wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. "You can go back to your Weasel and pretend that this didn't happen. Whatever makes you sleep better at night."

Hermione wondered how she still managed to hold herself up on her legs and speak after her heart had been shattered into pieces just seconds ago. He had ripped it out so easily, as if it wouldn't bother him. As if he wouldn't care.

He didn't care at all.

"I don't want to see you ever again. You can tell Snape to find someone else to teach you."

Draco stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and nodded slightly. "That's alright. Go home, Granger. Run into Weasel's arms."

She forced herself to walk away with her head held up high, but as soon as she was out of the door she began to run.

Draco followed her, he moved as if he was in a state of trance and gazed down the length of the corridor, but it was empty. His fist collided with the stone wall and he cursed, not at the physical pain but at the pain inside of his chest.

Slowly he walked back inside and leaned his shoulders against the cold wall next to the doorframe inside the Room of Requirement, his breath only slowly calming down. Hesitantly he slid down until he reached the ground and leaned his throbbing head against his knees. He had just performed his very first heroic deed in his life by saving her and her future.

But while the pain pulsed through him, he admitted to himself that he wasn't born a hero.

_I would have ridden into the sunset with you._

* * *

Hermione ran faster than she had ever done before, feeling a strange kind of relief as her feet hit the ground with each step she took.

_And how does it feel when he tells you that he loves you? That you are the most important thing to him?_

Draco's voice sounded like an echo in the back of her mind, coming from very far away. She heard the rush of waves in her ears and her eyes stung as if from sand or pepper spray. She thought that she held it together pretty well but only another moment passed until she started bawling and found herself crying about everything she hadn't cried about yet; her parents and Ron and Harry and Draco. She cried loudly enough that she startled a fragile looking boy who seemed to be in his first year.

"What do you think you are looking at, hm?" Hermione cried.

After that she felt a little better.

The tears, however, wouldn't stop.

No matter how much she tried, she couldn't stop crying because what she had thought was permanent was not permanent after all, but only made out of sand, or a fragile feather maybe, that vanished at the touch of wind or water. She didn't know why she had told him about her feelings concerning Ron anyway or why she had given him hints about her feelings for him. It wasn't anyone's business and especially not Draco's.

Who was she even trying to fool?

The only reason she felt so incredibly hurt right now was that for a few minutes; only for a few moments even, when Draco's lips had been locked with hers, she had been sure that he was good and possibly even willing to join her side. The good side.

This was a secret she knew she would never want to share with anybody._  
_

* * *

**This chapter turned out completely different than I had first depicted it in my drafts. Once I am done with this story, I might post it as an extra chapter or maybe I will build in parts of it in a later chapter, we'll see. Either way, you will get parts of it, I promise. **

**It literally broke my heart to write this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it nontheless.**

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter, and thanks to all the new readers who let me know their thoughts! I really can't begin to explain how grateful I am that you enjoy it so far. **

**Read and Review, and let me hear some of your thoughts! And thanks again for reading.  
**


	20. Chapter 20

Something was wrong with the clock. It had to be broken.

He couldn't possibly be sitting here for five hours already.

Draco felt a bit akward still sitting in a dark alcove on the Astronomy Tower, his body facing the moon which had just peered out between the heavy clouds. He even accepted the creeping coldness that pulsated through his veins.

_Merlin, my arse is bloody cold though._

He had walked up to the tower after he hadn't been able to stand the sight of the Room of Requirements any longer, the fire mocking him the longer he stared blankly into it.

Up here, there was nobody here to judge him or scold his deranged and dangerous behaviour, question his sanity and sense for logic. Up here, everything seemed to be peaceful. Just for one fraction of a moment.

_This was the calm before the storm._

A shiver chased up his spine and he grabbed his wand ro renew the warming shield he had laid around him, his aching knuckles relaxed immediately and stopped trembling. Draco shut his eyes and exhaled deeply, puffs as clear as crystal emerged from his lips but dissolved immediately.

He still couldn't really understand why he had pushed her away. He merely knew that he was trying to protect her but everything inside of him screamed and rebelled against his decision.

Black dots popped behind his eyes as rage burned within him as Draco realized that at this very moment, she could be with the Weasel for all he knew.

There was something else he realized and he was almost scared to admit the truth.

He loved her.

His feelings had grown so much and now reached a level where they were impossible to ignore, even if he wanted to try.

But he didn't. Instead, he embraced them in the knowledge that they were the purest feelings he had ever felt. He had hurt the only person he truely cared about at this point in his life, knowing that with that he lost any kind of progress he might have made in the past. He had made her hate him to a point where he had no hope to remotely repair their relationship. He didn't want to stay away from her, he had the strange urge to prove her that he was more than just a rebound Death-Eater, something worthy of her trust in him. But, he had seen it in her eyes as she had left - she didn't want him the way he wanted her.

His eyes began to burn.

Loyalty to his family was a thing that had been drilled into him since before he could even speak properly and with his feelings for her, he knew, he was betraying it alltogether.

A sharp breeze tangled through his hair and the wind howled loudly, almost like a scream. Draco didn't move, only his eyes wandered up to the sky as he blinked repeatedly.

At this point, he simply didn't care about family loyalty anymore.

A few weeks in her presence and Hermione had managed to bewitch Draco Malfoy completely.

Yes, there was definitely a storm coming up.

* * *

The moonlight streamed through the window almost shyly, barely making its way past the slit between the closed drapes of the brunette's dorm. The room itself was fairly silent, but the sounds from outside were making their way inside quite rudely.

The screaming loud wind didn't interrupt Hermione's sleep.

_She was alone in a dark forest, surrounded by strange and creepy noises that made her body tremble and the hair on the back of her neck stand up in horror. It was deep night, it was like a shadow surrounding her and she knew that if she would raise her hand, she wouldn't see it infront of her eyes. Above her, the moon fought its way through the clouds. _

_There was something important she had to do, someone important she had to save, but she couldn't remember where to go. She was running through the darkness, carefully at first until she accelerated her steps, pushed by the terrifying thought she might have already lost him. __Her heart beat rapidly against her ribcage and mixed with the sound of her hammering footsteps on the hard ground._

_Hermione felt adrenalin rush through her body as she pushed past a heavy canopy of trees and entered a clearing. There was something else which pulsated through her veins as she saw a familiar figure between the dark shadows of the trees across from her._

_Warmth and comfort mixed with the intoxicating feeling of nausea as a silvery mask hid the usually beautiful face. _

_Her hand tightened around her wand in her right hand as she watched his jaw tense, a cruel smirk crossing his features._

_"What side are you on?" he drawled but she gritted her teeth together, afraid of the consequences of her answer. He approached her silently, not even his waving cloak made any sound as the wind rushed through it. _

_His mask disappeared and his features softened immediately, as if a dark shadow which laid heavily on his soul had vanished. He even smiled. Both beautiful and disastrously._

_"What side are you on?" she echoed and locked her eyes with his. He didn't answer, he simply stepped closer and buried his fingers in her hair to pull her near. His lips melted with hers and she broke down in his arms as he mumured quietly against her lips._

_"I'm on your side."_

She woke up gasping, clutching at her throat as a hot stream of tears blinded her sight.

After almost two weeks filled with awkward glances thrown above the heads of their classmates, Hermione had realized that she missed Draco's company. Missed him so much that he now haunted her in her dreams.

All they ever seemed to do was fight but there was a small part; Hermione might not like the part but she knew it was there, which reminded her that she couldn't keep Draco off her mind and she didn't even try. Even when she closed her eyes, she dreamed about him all the time. Every night, her dreams were filled with him.

His face.

His scent.

His kisses.

It was too dangerous but she couldn't let go of the memory of their kiss. She couldn't lie convincingly enough to herself to pretend it didn't touch her, that it had been just a kiss with no greater meaning behind it.

As she sat there waiting for her breathing to calm down, she peeked to the right - on her nightstand stood a picture showing her parents, their arms around Hermione. Hermione turned her torso around and grabbed it, faces full of happiness staring up at her. She then remembered that her parents knew about Draco, that she had not only once but countless times complained about the Slytherin Boy and his behaviour. Would they care? Would they even remember him?

It was stupid to be self-conscious at this point and Hermione knew that. Besides her mother and father, did it really matter what people were saying about her growing feelings? About Draco?

"Yeah, who cares what they think," Hermione muttered under her breath.

The faces of Harry and Ron appeared in her mind, glumly judging her.

She just couldn't put it together in her head.

On the one hand, she had been raised to believe that every person was good, they simply made mistakes. But that's what human's did, wasn't it? On the other hand, Hermione couldn't deny the mind-blowing evidence that Draco Malfoy was a Death-Eater, whether or not he joined them willingly.

_What side are you on?_

No matter how many times she started thinking about Draco as a Death-Eater, she was caught up in a dizzy spin of fantasies filled with Dark Marks and Unforgivable Curses. The concept of a Death-Eater couldn't reconcile with her concept of Draco; she couldn't visualize him in any cruel role.

_But he's a Malfoy, after all._

Hermione's mind was sucked back into the thought of Harry. It didn't help either that his face was framed in a picture on her desk across from her.

Her best friend.

He would be disappointed. For Hermione not being more honest with him. For her refusing to pick sides between her lover and her best friends. For her seeming resigned, as if there was nothing she could do about her feelings.

But it was the truth, she couldn't help the way she felt.

As Hermione turned slowly, she could see her old lover's face in the same picture on her desk. He had been smiling brightly because the picture had been taken on a day they had spent in the Muggle World and he had felt like a little kid who got his first foreign candy. She had been surprised that he hadn't eben completely opposed to it.

Of course, he had only enjoyed it because he had spent time with her.

Hermione swallowed a big lump full of guilt.

Her mind quickly wandered back to Draco and she felt herself smile. It was proof, that things didn't have to be the way everyone thought they should be. Purebloods and Mudbloods could get along just fine, if only they were open-hearted enough.

But of course, not everyone would agree with her. She wasn't even sure if Draco would agree with her.

_Probably not._

Hermione sunk back into her pillows and put the picture of her parents away again, she would have to deal with them if the right moment came.

If it ever came.

She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Keeping them shut, she wrapped her blankets tighter around her body and wasn't surprised to see Draco's face behind her lids.

In her thoughts, the war was over. Behind them. Almost forgotten.

They were alone, just Draco and her in the backyard of her parent's home in a cloud-covered night.

They were together. Their hands clinging to one another's.

The gap between love and hate was very thin, thin as a fading layer of ice atop of a lake.

As she faded into sleep, she wished she could crush and break the ice.

* * *

"Eat something, mate."

"Sod off."

"You missed dinner last night already."

For several long moments Draco didn't look up or acknowledge the presence, but as the silence stretched, he figured he'd nothing better to do than drowning in his own grief.

He looked up. It was Blaise.

"You know," Blaise observed, "there was a time you'd sit here as if you own everything. Less than a month ago. What changed?"

Draco sighed and shook his head. "I can't tell you."

"But you know you can just rant to me...I'm not Nott, remember?"

Draco narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Don't mention that prick, please."

Blaise sneered at his remark and sat down infront of him as the crowd in the Common Room slowly cleared while they headed to the Great Hall. Draco groaned.

"I'm not really in the mood to talk, Blaise."

He shrugged and leaned back against the couch, spreading his arms and propping them up on the backrest behind him. "I have time."

Draco clicked his tongue but didn't answer, he bored his eyes into Blaise's who was still smirking.

"I think I know what the problem is," he stated.

"You think so mh?" Draco replied calmly.

Blaise nodded and chuckled lightly. "It's always a woman, isn't it?"

Draco gazed at him. "How do you know it's about a woman?" he required with bewilderment.

"So I'm right?"

Draco didn't answer.

"It's kind of...obvious, mate," Blaise scrambled for an answer. "You don't eat, you don't sleep...you don't really have a care in anything anymore-"

"When did I ever care?" Draco retorted with a sneer.

Blaise grinned. "Well, at least you didn't lose your sense of humour."

"I lost everything else though," he admitted quietly.

"How so?"

Draco sighed out loudly and leaned back in his armchair. He felt like a bloody defendant and Blaise was out to question him until Draco's brain would feel like it had been beaten with a bludger. Nevertheless, it occured to him that Blaise was the only person he could trust and he knew that he wasn't some kind of double agent. He didn't symphathize with the Dark Regime, nor was he really fond of Nott either. Even less so after his attack.

At the thought about Nott, his fingers curled into a tight fist which made his knuckles stick out bluntly. For all he cared, Nott could rot in Azkaban while he was waiting for his trial.

"I have no control over myself anymore...I don't know what's wrong with me but my control is completely gone," he began and stared blankly at his friend. "Yesterday I caught myself staring at Hermione in the Great Hall and I thought I should walk over and punch Weasel in his fucking face just for sitting next to her...where I should sit. Holding her hand instead of him doing so. Make her laugh. I was so close to doing it, I swear. I'm so fucking jealous around her, I don't trust myself anymore."

He looked up then and stared directly at Blaise who seemed to be lost in thoughts. A minute or two passed until he finally opened his mouth.

"Hermione? Are you bloody kidding me? I didn't think it was _that _serious"

"No, I'm not," said Draco, his voice suddenly harsh. "She isn't the girl I used to think she is. She is so much _more._" He knew this wasn't good enough for an answer but why would it matter to Blaise how it felt?

Every time she came close to him, Draco's heart skipped a beat. He was a fool, a bloody fool, but it didn't change anything about his feelings for her. The scent of her perfume and her skin danced against his nose, as if it was imprisoned inside of his nostrils to keep it locked there forever. The only reminder he had of her. When she laughed in a manner which was far too tempting, it always clouded his brain. He loved everything about her, her intelligence, her kindness, and when he allowed himself to think about it, her slender soft body too. Her voice was like honey and sugar to him.

Of course, he didn't mention any of this to Blaise.

He brushed his hand through his hair as his shoulders tensed. "I don't know what to do..."

"I know how much it hurts."

Draco's eyes widened and he stared at his friend. "What?"

"I loved a girl once, but she was in love with someone else, dated him even. Much like Granger and Weasley. So I was merely watching her and I imagined how it would be like to kiss her or to just spend time with her. But I knew it had no future, so I stopped imagining those things and concentrated on simply enjoying her company"

_No future? Why don't you just punch me in the face?_

Draco wrinkled his nose in thought and asked, "How did you stop?"

His friend merely shrugged and smiled sadly. "I didn't really stop...well, I know that she didn't love me so I accepted it. I never stopped caring about her but I don't love her anymore."

_Well that seriously helpled, you fool._

"Blaise, imagine you had been able to spend time with her. Just the two of you. That you kissed her, held her in your arms and even knew her most sacred fears. And then imagine that you can never do that again and that someone else gets to do all of that to her." Draco felt a large lump appear in his throat at the truth behind his own words.

_Jealousy really fucking sucked._

"Imagine you are completely, totally and utterly in love with her but you never told her. But you knew...no, you felt, that she feels the same about you. How would you handle that? What would you do?"

Blaise nodded slowly and thought about an answer. "Now, let me ask you one question. Just one. Do you think you and Granger have a future?"

"I...I don't know," was all that Draco was able to reply. His stormy eyes met hazel-brown and he felt a sudden jolt of sympathy for his friend. He had never known about Blaise's feelings but it felt comforting to know that he wasn't the only one who was suffering from heartache.

"Love sometimes happens at the strangest of times. It certainly is a strange time, we are in the middle of a war, after all. However, love happens. And to those who would have never thought they would fall in love with each other. If some people are meant to be together, they will find a way to do so. Trust me." He winked at his best friend and got up, leaving a very much confused Draco behind.

* * *

"Blimey, just get moving already."

Hermione's hand wrestled against her best friend's grip but she could have been trying to move a statue for all he moved. "Where are we going?"

"I told you that it's a surprise, Mione."

"But you know that I don't like surprises," she protested as Harry dragged her down the Great Staircase. There was chattering coming out of the Great Hall this dinner time and it was much louder than usual. There hadn't been any recent attacks and the mood had changed from constant tension to its former self. There was laughter even.

"That's too bad for you. You'll like it, I promise." He smirked widely at him and her own tension vanished almost completely.

Harry's free hand reached out to push the portal open and go outside but a dark shadow moved in the corner of Hermione's eyes and she shrieked.

"Bloody hell!" Harry exlaimed and had his wand ready within a second.

"Out for a walk?" a familiar voice sneered and Hermione gasped.

Draco stepped out of the shadow and blocked their way. Hermione dropped her gaze and faked an immense interest in her shoes. She didn't see how Draco's face softened at her cold expression, his forehead creasing with a deep frown.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry spat out and glared at him.

"I'm not here to talk to you, Potter," Draco stated and lowered his gaze to try and see Hermione's gaze. "Are you okay?"

"I'm - fine," she stuttered and threw a glance at Harry whose face was outraged. "What do you want?"

Draco sighed and jerked his head back up. "You two are leaving while everyone else is busy with dinner. Nah? Doesn't that sound suspicious to you? And I saw how you fought with him so I wanted to check on you," he explained calmly.

"Everything is fine," Harry grumbled and stepped closer to the Slytherin boy. "Get out of our way, we have to go."

There was a moment of silence until Draco took a step to the side and let them pass. Harry hauled Hermione along and darted out of the Castle. He didn't notice how Draco's fingers brushed briefly against Hermione's hand. Neither did he notice the glow inside of her eyes.

* * *

They walked in silence, Hermione had long given up to struggle against Harry's grip and he had eventually let go of her. Her head was nodded down but it didn't slip her attention that it was unnaturally dark, there were no signs of stars or the moon covering the nightsky. She had the strange feeling as if Dementors were close but she knew this was impossible.

Finally, Harry broke the silence and and looked steadily at Hermione. "What's between you and Malfoy?"

Hermione's head jerked to the side, as if he had slapped her or pushed her. "I don't - there's nothing -"

"I know better than that," Harry said, interrupting her. "I'm not blind. And I'm not stupid. Tell me the truth, Mione."

"There isn't anything between us, you are misinterpreting things," Hermione began - and then, catching the look on her best friend's face, she added with great reluctance, "Any more. There is nothing between us any more. Okay?"

"Why's that?" Harry required calmly. "He seems to really like you."

"Sod off, Harry," Hermione said in a warning tone and deliberated whether or not he would chase after her if she turned around now and ran. The look on his face told her that he would. Not only that, he seemed seriously thinking about tackling her to the ground and not letting her go until she spilled the truth. She had to hand that to him, it was quite endearing that he was so worried about her.

Harry ignored her warning. "He was looking out for you. Are you sure it was Draco and not some creepy look-alike?" He added with a chuckle but Hermione didn't join.

There was another moment of utter silence. Then Hermione gave a howl full of dispair and horror and brought her hands up to cover her face. "I am going to kill Malfoy. Kill him and then kill his corpse."

"You can't kill a corpse, Mione."

"Let me have my dreams," she grumbled and he smiled in satisfaction.

"Don't kill him. He cares about you. I don't know why but he really does. I believe it's true, even though I wish it wasn't," Harry said and managed to sound a little bit awkward. "Look. I don't want to push you into anything, but do you maybe want to - "

"Go back and kill him? Look, I know you are trying to be helpful, but - "

" - talk to me about your feelings?" Harry finished.

Hermione looked as if she was about to stumble. "What?"

"I think it might help. I know that this is new for you...well maybe not so new. I already realized that you and Malfoy began to act differently."

Hermione looked at him with something like horror. "We act differently?"

Harry shrugged lightly. "You usually met him for one hour when you went to your lessons...you were gone for almost three hours the last time, Mione. And after that, you didn't go any more."

She tried to ignore the bubble of anxiety that was starting to form in the pit of her stomach. She had always known that Harry was observant but she hadn't thought that he was _that _observant.

"So I assume that something happened," he concluded and folded his arms infront of his chest as they neared Hagrid's hut.

Hermione tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked at Harry, chewing nervously on the inside of her mouth.

_How am I supposed to explain this mess?_

"I thought you said that you don't believe there's anything between us," Hermione reminded him but he shrugged.

"I know what I said but I think something changed between you and him and it seemed to have altered him in a way that he doesn't act like a complete jerk all the time. And I see you changed too, you act weird around him."

She exhaled deeply. She really wanted to believe that Draco changed and she knew deep inside of her heart that he did, but she couldn't help thinking that it was only temporary. Hermione hated herself for not giving him more credit.

"Look, I appreciate that you care about it but there's nothing -"

"Does Ron know?"

"What?" Hermione shrieked, the bubble of anxiety growing bigger.

"Does he know that you are seeing Malfoy?" Harry required and looked at her over the bridge of his glasses. She shook her head.

"I am not seeing him, Harry. I swear. And I wasn't seeing him before either...it's all just really complicated, you see."

Harry stopped walking and Hermione stood next to him as he jerked his head to one side and bored his eyes into hers. "Look, I wouldn't even be mad. Sure, I don't like Malfoy but I'd be comfortable with your decision as long as you are happy. Just don't play with Ron, okay? Not only because he's my best friend, but also because he doesn't deserve this. You should be honest with him."

Hermione knew he was right but how was she supposed to tell Ron that she had fallen in love with his enemy, the one person he hated more than anyone else. He would start to hate her, too, she thought.

"I don't have to tell him anything, Harry. There is nothing between Draco and me. I'm with Ronald," she declared, putting as much sincerity into her words as she thought she was capable of bearing.

"Just don't lie to yourself either, Mione," Harry reminded her and pointed a finger at Hagrid's hut. "Ron's in there."

Hermione's jaw fell down in surprise. "What is he doing in there?"

"He prepared some dinner...or had Ginny help him, I reckon. Asked Hagrid's for his place for the night. He thought that you are still mad at him about the fight because you've been avoiding him. So I was told to bring you here, my job is done now." There was bitterness in Harry's voice but Hermione chose to ignore it.

"I'm sorr -"

"Just go inside and pretend to be surprised," he cut her off and turned on his heel to walk away, the darkness immediately drowning him.

* * *

The day couldn't have gotten any worse for the Gryffindor who stood idly infront of the stain glass window. The rays that emitted through the colorful designs ran shapes up and down her pale arms but she couldn't find herself to be enchanted with its beauty at the moment.

Inside, she could see Ron rummaging through Hagrid's cupboards, his expression slightly hurried and nervous. Another second passed and he dropped a teacup. He cursed so loudly that it startled Fang who was laying infront of Hagrid's massive bed. He gave Ron the cold shower as he mumbled something in his direction, something that Hermione couldn't hear.

She couldn't even tell why she was standing there like some creeper lurking on some cheerleader girl showering but she couldn't bring herself to just walk inside and embrace his surprise, less than to react as if Harry hadn't spilled something. Her breath pushed against the glass the moment Ron sat down on one chair and lit a candle which decorated the dinner table. From where she stood, she couldn't tell what kind of food he had prepared but she didn't care, there were more important things to handle than some stupid dinner.

_Some stupid dinner? Do you even listen to your own thoughts you daft dimbo?_

It wasn't just some stupid dinner for Ronald, at least, and she felt guilt wash through her as she realized how easily she had just dismissed his feelings. Harry was right, she thought, she shouldn't lie to herself any longer. And definately not to Ron.

With a hand on the door handle she drew in a sharp breath as her gazed once again wandered through the window to take a last look at Ron.

She made a sound much like a choked gasp and staggered backwards.

_Oh no. Oh god, please no._

Inside, Ron turned around slowly to find the source of the gasp but fortunately for Hermione, he couldn't see her through the darkness. Whereas Hermione had gotten a perfect look on the little square box Ron was playing with.

_The next step._

Somewhere inside of the Dark Forest an owl screeched as Hermione hurled around and ran away, away from her future.

* * *

_Plop. Plop. Plop._

Stone after stone vanished in the depths of the Black Lake as she threw one by one into the water. Hermione was sitting on an old weather-beaten branch close to the water's edge, occasionally leaning down to grab another handfull of stones.

Her panic about Ron's dinner overrode every other concern she would have usually had at this moment. She hadn't brought her wand as Harry had come to get her but she didn't feel scared, she had the strange feeling something or someone was watching over her.

She felt reminded of one night in her childhood, she must have been around six years maybe, where she had called for her father to come and look into her closet. She had believed that a monster had been living inside of it, ready to eat her alive as soon as she would have gone to sleep. With a reassuring smile, her father had told her that there was no such thing as monsters and that her guardian angel would look after her.

She had been able to sleep peacefully in her room ever since then. At this point, she hadn't known that only five years later, she would find out that monsters indeed existed.

Hermione might not believe in angels but she knew that her father would always look after her, his little honey-bunches. She smiled lightly at the memory of his favorite nickname for her.

Only seconds later, she brushed the back of her hand across her eyes as a wave of tears disturbed her sight at the memory of her father and mother. Now, it seemed to be Hermione's duty to look after her parents, to make sure they were safe and would live through the war.

She had no recollection, later, of having heard anything about what happened next but suddenly, there were warm and comforting hands coming from behind her and now lay on her shoulder. She didn't even flinch because her senses had picked up his scent already.

Soap and Salt had come to her rescue.

* * *

**Originally, this chapter was a bit longer than it is now but then I decided that the next scene fits much better into the next chapter so it ends with a cliffhanger. I know this was a bit of filler chapter but I promise that things are about to get more interesting as of the next chapter!**

**On a different note, can you guess who Blaise was in love with? Let me know some of your thoughts, I'm dying to know what my readers think :)**

**Also, I was wondering if any of you guys think I should also post this on different fanfictions sites like Hawthorn&Wine for example. Yay or nay? xD**

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.**

**Love,**

**Letmesignxx**


	21. Chapter 21

Hermione slowly lifted her head and turned to look into the steel-grey eyes that were both so cool and emotionless at this moment, that it made a slight shiver run up her spine.

Draco bent his head down until his face was mere centimeters away from her bushy hair, near her left ear. "What are you doing out here, Granger?" he asked and sat down next to her. The sudden closeness to him was startling but soothing at the same time.

"I fled," she whispered and threw another stone into the distance with such force it made a bone in her arm crack tiredly.

Draco rose his left eyebrow as he watched the stone jump across the water's surface a few times before it disappeared. He whistled lightly through his teeth. "I didn't know you could do that," he stated.

"I didn't either," Hermione admitted and tilted her head to one side to look at him. Behind her, the moon pushed past a dark cloud and illuminated the crown of hair on Hermione's head. He smiled faintly.

"Where did you go with Potter?" he asked.

"Some surprise but I left," Hermione whispered and bounced a tiny stone in her palm as she avoided his gaze with determination. Draco opened his mouth to ask another question but she cut him off. "Look, I don't want to fight tonight."

"But -"

"Not tonight," she whispered and leaned closer to him, her breath tickling against his slightly parted lips. Draco's eyes widened in response, his hand brushing over hers.

"What are you doing, Granger?"

"Making a change," she said and smirked in a way that would have made any Slytherin proud. Draco could taste her words because as she spoke her lips were so close to his own that it felt like she would trace the outlines of the letters on his bottom lip. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he reached his hand out, grabbing her neck he drew her closer and their lips crashed together. He could feel the internal debate going on behind her forehead, and he held his breath as she parted her lips.

At the same moment, the clouds above their heads parted and sent down a soft cover of raindrops.

Her sweet sigh of surrender took over his senses as his tongue entered her mouth; her taste was intoxicating and just like he remembered it.

Honey and sugar tickled his tongue.

He clutched her sides possessively and held her firmly in place, adamant that she would not escape his grip again. She placed both of her palms on his cheeks and buried the tips of her fingers into his snow-soft hair so she could pull him a little closer. Each kiss sent a number of shocks through his entire body and he knew that it was enough to make him yearn for more.

Their kiss broke for a brief second and Hermione's heavy eyelids peeled open enough to let her gaze wander slowly across his face. She shifted her thumb and slowly traced the smooth contour of his lips which seemed to beg to be kissed, to be locked in an eternal kiss with her own lips. She smiled softly and wasn't surprised to see the same smile on his face, too.

"You are getting wet," he mumbled and leaned closer to steal a quick but endearing kiss before he realized the hidden meaning behind his words and laughed against her lips, hoping she wouldn't catch on.

"That too," she admitted much to Draco's surprise and he swept a heavy and wet curl of her hair out of her face. Merlin, how much he wanted her right now.

He stared bewildered at her as she rose quickly to her feet and reached her hand out. "Let's go."

"You don't mean it," Draco heard himself ask and looked down.

"I do," she answered truthfully and before he knew what he was doing, he took her hand and laced their fingers together.

Almost immediately Draco pulled her closer to him and their surrounding fell away, there was nothing but them and the rain, his hands on her as his lips found hers once more. She let out a gasp of surpise as he dug his fingers into the thin fabric of her skirt to try and pull her even closer. They ripped and suddenly there were wet fingers on the bare skin of her legs, causing something in the pits of her stomach to burst into a spectacle of warmth, almost like a blinding light, and she couldn't keep her lips and her tongue from getting more demanding. Hermione slid her hands under the hem of his soaked shirt and her fingers began to explore what was underneath; the tight hot skin of his muscles stretching over his ribs, the ridges of his abdomen and a scar on his side she hadn't noticed the last time.

She was so willing, so soft and he tried to stiffle his moan at her outburst of enthusiasm, but wasn't successful; he moaned lightly into her mouth. Draco buried his fingers deep into her hair as he intensified their kiss, whatever she was doing was driving him crazy. He was moaning softly into her mouth, kissing her harder and harder as if he would never be able to stop, never wanted them to part again.

Hermione very much liked the concept of that thought.

"I don't know.. what I'm doing," Draco suddenly whispered against her lips, his voice was hoarse. He felt Hermione's body tense at his remark, her eyes snapping open in incomprehension. Every fiber and cell of her body rebelled, screamed to make him continue with the intoxication that was coming from his actions but he merely grinned at her, his eyes soft as they touched hers. He stroked a wet fingertip against her cheek and her body shivered in response.

"When it comes to you," he continued "I'm even more insecure about everything. I don't know what to do...it's because you are all the things I've never even allowed myself to dream of for myself but yet you are here. It's addictive, mind blowing to say at least." He paused momentarily, remembering himself that he needed to breathe. He smiled nervously before the swipe of his tongue hinted at her bottom lip, swollen from the cold, crisp air.

"Draco," she whispered suddenly, and for a reason she could not identify, she was frightened of what he was about to say.

"You're the most incredible, moral and compassionate person I've ever met. You're brave and intelligent and you allow yourself to be so incredibly proud of who you are but you actually have a reason to be proud of yourself, not like me. I pride myself on my name but it all loses any kind of insignificance when it comes to you." His voice broke into a small cough, he was shaking like a leaf.

His shaking was nothing compared to Hermione's. She stared with wide eyes at him, a tint of horror painted around her pupils.

"I know this won't make a Knut's worth of sense to you, I can see it in your eyes," Draco observed and chuckled. "You are so lost inside of your head sometimes, so absorbed with your beliefs, that I wish I could follow you and make them to my own beliefs, too." To stress his statement, he touched his fingertip lightly to her temple and smiled warmly. "Tell me, what you are thinking."

"I am...confused," she muttured so quietly, she wasn't sure he'd heard it over the loud sound of the rain.

"How are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

Hermione tilted her head up to catch his eyes and, after a sad silence, she said. "I am confused."

"Obviously," he said and clenched his eyes shut, remaining still and silent. He had never done anything like this before, he had absolutely no idea how to talk about feelings. It was bred into his bones, knocked into him by the same dull answers he had always received when he had approached his father in an attempt to talk about them.

_'Feelings can be used as weapons against you, my son. Do not reveal them, you understand me?'_

However, he had just spilled his heart out to Hermione and all she could offer him were three words.

Three words were enough to crush him.

_What did you expect?_

_Certainly not _those _three words._

He didn't have a clue what to do any more. After all, telling her how he felt hadn't been much of a success, he thought glumly.

"Draco?"

He peeled his eyes open and glanced down at her, taking in the deep frown on her forehead that told a story of confusion. He exhaled deeply and watched her breath in almost simultaneously, as if she was trying to inhale his breath.

A spark of hope ignited in the core of his chest.

"Let's go," he mumbled quietly and stepped away, releasing her from his embrace as he turned on his heels. He couldn't see the wave of anxiety cross her features as he let go of her. "Let's get you warm," he shouted over his shoulder and listened how she began to walk to catch up with him.

They walked in silence as they made their way back toward the Castle. As always, the Gryffindor brunette had left him feeling somewhere between utterly lost and safe at the same time. It was a feeling he had grown used to already but it left a bitter taste on his tongue all over again. He didn't particularly like the feeling of being lost; he was lost as it was already and she just happened to make it worse.

He glanced sideways at her, marvelling how her hair, despite the heavy rain, hadn't lost its infamous puffiness yet. Affection gushed up inside him and he couldn't conceal a small smirk to cross his lips.

His smirk didn't slip her attention and, while they both remained silent, Hermione reached her hand out and laced their fingers together, giving his fingers a soft squeeze.

He returned the squeeze gently and together, they entered the castle.

* * *

He swallowed loudly and lidded his eyes. "Are you alright?"

Hermione blinked in bewilderment as she shut the door to her dorm after them and turned to look at him. "I'm fine."

"Good," he mumbled.

Suddenly, Hermione rushed to his side and grabbed his face between her ice-cold hands. A flash full of admiration illuminated his grey gaze and she sighed in relief as her thumbs instinctively stroked over his pale face.

"What were you thinking?"

He lifted his head and released a shaky breath. "What are you talking about?"

Hermione slowly removed her hands from his face and dropped her gaze to his chest together with her hands. "You can't just go and tell me things like that."

_Ah, things._

"I can do whatever I want," he replied cooly and sneered, grabbing her hands he pushed them gently away from his chest and stepped back before he seated himself on the edge of her bed. He took back one of his hands to fish his wand out of his pockets and aimed it at her.

"Draco, what -"

A swooshing sound, much like the sound of gently lapping water, cut her off mid-sentence as a hot wave hit her face and the rest of her body. She was dry again within a few seconds.

"Thanks," she mumbled but Draco shrugged and pointed at himself, repreating the procedure.

Slowly, Hermione walked over and sat down next to him, surpressing the urge to touch him. Merlin, how much she wanted to touch him, it was a deep buried craving she had just recently discovered, a need that was constantly asking to get satisfied. A need she didn't understand but enjoyed nontheless.

"Do you still think I am evil?" Draco suddenly asked, fixing her with a fierce glance. Beneath his attempt to sound careless, Hermione heard a little strain of pain in his voice and guilt formed in the pits of her stomach.

"You aren't evil," she answered truthfully and nodded her head his way. "You've made mistakes, you've made the wrong choices...but that doesn't make you evil. Nor does it make you one of _them_," she added and watched him intensely.

He swallowed away the lump of relief in his throat and bit down hard on his tongue. He had stopped considering himself a Death-Eater a long time already, or just never really thought of himself as one of them to begin with. What was he more than a puppet? A puppet out on a suicide mission? Everything was fucked up, there was no denying, and he had the feeling that his relationship to her would just add more to the list of things which wouldn't work out but still, here he sat, thinking that _she_ was the only good aspect of his puppet life.

"Is that why you never told on me? Never told anyone about my - _you know_." He flinched at the mere thought of his Dark Mark in the knowledge that she didn't like thinking about it as much as he did.

Hermione sighed sadly and frowned at the expression glued to his face. Slowly, she shuffled a little closer to him and carefully reached out to stroke her fingers across his jaw, encouraged not to stop when he didn't push her away. "I had hope."

"You were hoping for what?" He asked in disbelief and his eyes seemed to suddenly glisten.

"Hope that you would change and realize that you were misled. That you are strong enough to break free and leave the burden of your mark behind," she explained and raked his hair out of his forehead. He laughed, whether at her explanation or her hope, she couldn't tell. "I told you that I always look for the good in people, I told you that I can feel that you are a good person. I even told you that I care about you. How much more do you need to hear?"

Draco stared with wide eyes at her. Never would he have believed that something like that would come out of Hermione's mouth. Hoped for it, yes. But never thought it would actually happen.

"See, I look at you and I immediately stare right at the mess I made," Draco suddenly chocked out and reached his hand up to stroke it against her cheek. She shut her eyes as he did but opened them again as soon as she spoke herself.

"What mess?" She couldn't explain herself why she was so persistent or what she was actually hoping to hear. When did their conversation take this sudden turn? Why did he look at her that desperate? A little feeling of hope raised in her chest and she waited for his response.

"You shouldn't do this, Granger. You shouldn't even be here with me - you shouldn't spend time with me, even less want to spend time with me," he began and his eyes locked with hers. The honey color seemed to fade away and turn to moisture but she held his gaze.

"They've got their hooks in me so deep and there is no chance to get ouf there, even if I had the entire Order of Phoenix standing behind me," he added with a bitter laugh and shook his head. "Once a Death-Eater, always a Death-Eater. They consider me their property, even though I don't want to be part of this anymore. Especially since I am spending time with you, Hermione. But even though you are right infront of me right now, I feel as if you are miles away from me." Draco ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling of her dorm.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you being a mudblood and me being a pureblood," he continued and dropped his eyes to hers again. "We are in two different kinds of worlds not because of our heritage but because of the sides we choose. I chose the evil to protect my family - " His voice became quieter and Hermione stared at him with wide eyes.

"But I have to protect my parents, too. I wouldn't -" she began but he cut her off immediately.

"Would you join the Dark Side to protect them?" His voice was cold again and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Never," she stated without any doubt. He merely nodded at her and dropped his hand to his side. "There are always other ways, Draco."

"The Dark Lord isn't threatening you to kill them off in the first place," he heard himself say and he forced his gaze away.

He heard Hermione gasp. "My parents are in just as much danger as your parents are, I think in more danger even," Hermione said even though her voice became weak at the mention of her parents. "They are Muggles, god damn it. Voldemort will kill them if he wins at power again. He will most likely kill every single Muggle connected to Dumbledore. Thats why I will have to hide them, to make sure they stay safe."

His head turned back toward her and he cocked an eyebrow. "You will hide them?"

Hermione sighed and nodded. "They will begin a new life under different names, without any memory of the Wizarding World - or me, as a matter of fact."

He shook his head quickly. "Don't erase their memory, it's too dangerous."

_I know what I'm talking about. I almost fucked your brain up._

He looked into her eyes, really looked into them and hoped that her parents wouldn't have to suffer because of him, just like her daughter had already suffered because of him.

"Less dangerous than letting them go on as if nothing was wrong. Eventually, he will find and kill them and I simply can't risk that. You ought to understand," Hermione pleaded and blinked to hide away the upcoming tears.

"I think it's time for you to do it," he heard himself ask, ignoring the anxiety inside of his chest.

"No, I'm doing it this summer...I'm not ready to let go yet," Hermione whispered and began to wring her hands again. He grabbed her wrist and forced her attention back to him.

"No, I mean that it's time for you to just run away," Draco declared. Hermione's eyes went wide. "You should go with them and hide until all of this is over. I want you to be safe, Granger."

_Don't leave me_, he thought over and over again, hoping that she would somehow hear his thoughts and understand how painful the thought of her leaving him was.

She broke away, her eyes wide and searching as she tried to take in what he had said. "You want me to leave?" she repeated and brushed her hand through her long curls, cursing at the knots she left. Sympathy rushed through Draco and he reached his arms out awkwardly.

"Until this is over - "

She held her hand up and shook her head. "You can't know how long it will last. It might take years to defeat Voldemort."

Draco flinched, he hadn't thought about that. All he heard was her sharp intake of breath and whispered words falling from her lips. "I want to help you, Draco," she whispered and her eyes searched for his.

He sighed.

"You should have stayed away from me, especially after you found out that I am a Death-Eater. But I am glad you didn't. I am glad that you didn't give me up," he finally declared and before he could even finish his sentence, Hermione lunged herself at him and threw her arms around his neck. He remained completely still and unresponsive until the shock of her sudden outbreak faded away and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest.

"When you love someone, you don't categorize the things you love about them—there isn't anything about them you'd want to live without. Your Mark may be a part of you but it doesn't define who you are, which is why I can tolerate its existence," Hermione whispered against his shirt, inhaling the scent of his skin. She felt inexplicably safe where she was; warm and comfortable.

The look that washed over his face was pure incredulity. Outside, the rain had not stopped in the slightest. Quite the contrary was happening, raindrops as huge as Mrs. Weasley's yearly easter eggs hammered against the single window of Hermione's dorm as Draco carefully took in what she had revealed.

_'When you love someone._'

Did that mean she was in love with him? After their encounter in the Room of Requirement he had gotten to terms with the fact that her body somehow replied to his actions, that she was attracted to him on a level which was strictly physical.

This now, was a complete new level.

The rain was pounding against the window as they sat in silence, listening to one another's slow breathing. They were two teenagers whose only achievement was to have fallen in love but nobody could tell what the future held for them. The reality of the War hung over their heads like a sword, ready to crash down.

Draco tilted his head down and his eyes searched her face, slowly, as if he meant to memorize it. Autumn-colored hues peeked up at him, aware of his studying glance and she measured his expression. There, craddled in his arms like characters in old fairy tales, she realized how intoxicating his presence was. It was like having just a little bit of a drug now and then - but it always made you want more. There was nothing sweeter in her life than Draco's kisses. She could lay like this forever, forgeting the outside world. And that was a good thing, she thought, because she knew all to well that there was much depression in the outside, forgetting about the happiness that was possible. She could always come back to this, this welcome, this sweetness, this esctasy.

She felt warm and strong arms around her, and instinctively nestled into them as a feeling of love and appreciation pulsated through her. Her heavy lids fluttered and Draco's body shifted, sinking against the headboard of the brunette's bed as her lids slowly sunk down and she was drawn into her dreams. Seconds before she fell asleep completely, a single plea left her lips and Draco smiled to himself.

"Don't go," she whispered tiredly. "Let me sleep in your arms just for one night."

As if he would have wanted to leave.

Draco kissed the top of her head as he shut his eyes, her scent lulled him into his own land of dreams and together they fell asleep without a care about the world but with a care for each other.

* * *

The moment Hermione awoke she knew that Draco was gone, even before she opened her eyes. She wondered why the light hadn't woken her. From the position of the sun, it had to be early evening already.

_God damn it. Sleeping like the dead gets a whole new meaning._

She sat up slowly, her chest tight with a jolt of emptiness. The covers next to her were pushed aside, the sheets under her tightened and straightened. He must have pulled at them before he left, maybe to get rid of the contour of his body he might have left or just to be tidy. Despite everything, the thought of him hovering over her and maybe giving her a good-bye kiss before he had left gave her a feeling of happiness.

It was only when she sat up further and stretched her heavy limbs that she noticed the folded piece of paper on the nightstand. She picked it up with a smile ghosting around her lips, unfolding it she scanned the first lines and a sudden sensation of dread washed over her:

_"'Il est un endroit secret, le pays des larmes'. I'm sure you recognize this quote, I've allowed myself to pick it out of '_The Little Prince', _a book I think you know of. I woke up in the middle of the night, but unlike any other nights I didn't wake up because of nightmares - for the first time in so long I've dreamed peacefully and I was able to catch up on sleep. I must thank you for that. However, while I was laying next to you, I came to realize how true this quote is. It is such a secret place, the land of tears, isn't it? But with you, there is no land of tears for me anymore, no secrets needed because I can open up to you like I've never been able before. It's a land full of emotions and feelings I never had before. My father always thought I was weak. And in the moment that mattered most I was. I couldn't be strong when you needed me to be. I've been pushing myself to prove him wrong, and pushing you away, not knowing that by trying to prove him that I wasn't weak, I was weaker than I have ever been. _

_I am knowingly full of shit, Hermione. I have never cared about anybody or anything in my entire life, and people have accepted that. And then you - you didn't think of me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was good enough until I met you, and then you made me believe too. My world wouldn't be my world without you in it, I can't bear the thought of leaving you forever, any more than I can bear the thought of losing you forever. If i just see you, I know that everything else will be alright."_

The rest of the letter seemed to wash together into a meaningless blur of letters; she had to read it over and over again to make any sense of it. When she did finally understand, she stood in the middle of her dorm staring down at it, watching the paper flutter as her hand shook.

She had no recollection, later, of having decided what to do, or of having realized what he was asking for, but somehow she was rushing to get dressed in something which seemed appropriate enough. Dressed in a slender summer's dress, she rushed out of her droom, the letter still in one hand.

* * *

The corridor in the seventh floor was filled with the echo of cackling heels as Hermione paced up and down infront of the particular wall which hid the entrance to the Room of Requirement. Strands of her hair had begun to fall out of her bun, the silver pins holding her hair together already piercing into her scalp. Her hand shot up and she fiddled nervously with her hair, trying to fix as much as possible while she accelerated her steps, her eyes nervously flickering from side to side.

_'It was wrong to come here - I'm making a fool out of myself_', Hermione told herself as the clock hit eight.

_'He is late'_, she acknowledged with a sigh and closed her fingers around the piece of parchment that had waited this morning for her to wake up and told her to wait here, for him. She faintly remembered how puzzled she had stared at his note, her fingers had gently stroked over his words. Her inner demons started to yell at her, reminded her of being reasonable and realize that this must be a joke. Draco Malfoy wasn't someone to do things like this. But for the first time ever, Hermione had listened to her heart.

Now she was standing here, imagining what he could have planned. He didn't seem to be much of a planner, but then again Hermione didn't seem to know Draco Malfoy all that much. Slowly, she turned around and leaned her back against the wall, the cold touch prickling on her bare shoulders as she slid down the wall and sat up against it, exhaustion washing over her. Her eyelids slipped shut and she drew in a deep breath, Draco's face appeared immediately, his gray hues piercing into hers, examining her face with his characteristic smirk toying at his lips.

Ice seemed to crystallize inside her chest as his voice called out her name from far away, "Hermione?", he almost whispered as if he wasn't aware of her presence. Not trusting her voice to be steady enough she simply cleared her throat and looked down the corridor where his body had emerged out of darkness. He moved toward her, almost tripping over his own feet - Draco Malfoy, who never stumbled, never did an ungraceful move.

His eyes were lidded, thoughtful. "You really came," he said, his tone almost musing. Hermione's hands trembled in her lap. They were cold, white and trembling. She laced her fingers together to try and stop the shaking. It helped a little.

"I came," Hermione whisphered as he moved toward her and held his hand out for her, hesitantly she took it and rose to her feet. His hands were inexplicably gentle and his eyes seemed very dim, maybe because darkness layed heavily around them. maybe because of something else. She could see her reflection in each of his pupils, his silvery gray hues unnaturally dilated.

He said, "I wasn't sure if you'd come," and brushed his thumb almost tenderly across the back of her hand before he slowly, reluctantly dropped it.

"I wasn't sure I'd come either," Hermione admitted and dropped her gaze lightly, raking her hair out of her eyes. There was an unpleasant silence until she burst out, "Why do you want me here? What do you want?"

Draco sucked a breath in, his eyes were blazing and she realized he had never expected this reaction. The look on his face said as much. Suddenly, his hands came up to cup her face; she felt the warmth of his fingertips so close to her skin; she stood frozen, staring up at him.

"You don't understand," he said. His voice shook. "I've never felt this way about anyone. I didn't think I was capable of loving, not with the way - how I grew up - "

Hermione reached up and covered his hand with hers, his warm breath on her face was oddly soothing her. They stood frozen in this moment, unaware of how many seconds, minutes or even hours had passed already. Snapping out of their reverie, Draco dropped his hands from her face and he moved away from her, her heart did a slow somersault as he did. Her eyes wandered over his face as she could hear the desperation of his words as he spoke again, "If we both feel the same way - we can make it work, Hermione," he whispered, his lashes throwing dark shadows across his cheekbones as he looked down, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Hermione could see that they were shaking, too. Just like hers.

"I don't have control over the future, Hermione. At all", his words were almost soundless, barely a whisper. "This could be the my last chance before... - our first and last night - on this world. I have only so much control over things to make it worthwhile, to make it the best night of our lives", he breathed out, his voice was light and his mouth curved in an half smile as his eyes wandered gently, exploratorily over her face. It was a sad smile with something else hidden underneath, something Hermione couldn't quite grasp no matter how hard she tried.

"Our first and last night?", she repeated slowly. She wasn't good at controlling her voice, she could hear the pain in it, like a wound just under the surface. She couldn't hide what she was feeling and now she felt as if Draco could look right through her as if she were glass, could feel her pain like it was his own.

His hand shot up and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her swiftly yet very softly toward him. Hermione stretched out to wrap her arms around him like she had wanted to do for a long time already, his arms slid around her waist, his hands pinning her head to his shoulder. Draco's hands were warm on her bare shoulders, the only things that were warm in the cold surrounding them. He burried his nose in her hair and heard a sound like a sigh rush through his lips, a wave of noise that told about the dizzying sense of weightlessness in his body. Nothing else mattered but feeling her body pressed against his, he held her as if he wanted to crush her into himself, to reassure himself that she'd always be with him.

"Hermione", he whispered, his voice shaking. "I destroy and poison everything I love. Not deliberately, of course. But I don't want to destroy you too. Not you too."

His lips touched her hair very lightly before he disentangled their bodies and stepped around her to face the wall. Hermione watched a grin appear on his face as he closed his eyes and clearly spoke his desire inside of his mind until an old, with odd signs ornated double door appeared out of nowhere. Turning around he held his hand out for her, his expression full of hope. Hermione didn't hesitate and took his hand. Together they opened the door and entered the Room of Requirement.

* * *

**Do you guys think this chapter is a bit too much? I wasn't sure if the mush and fluff wasn't a bit too overwhelming but I hope you like it nontheless, let me know. **

**For those who didn't get the translation in Draco's letter, here it is again.**

**_'Il est un endroit secret, le pays des larmes - It is such a secret place, the land of tears.'_**

**I've read your past reviews and it was interested to see who you think Blaise is in love with, I promise you will find out soon. **

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. **

**Enjoy this chapter.**

**Love,**

**Letmesignxx**


	22. Chapter 22

**When I was writing this chapter, I've listened to Alexander Deplat's "The Meadow" thinking that it would be a perfect soundtrack to play in this scene. Listen to it while you read if you want ;)**

* * *

Hermione couldn't help but smile.

The Room of Requirement, although having served her in many different ways in the past, was now the most endearing place she had ever seen at Hogwarts.

Her cheeks tinged red with embarrassment at the effort Malfoy had put into this, or rather had put into his thoughts so the room would do all the work for him, but she didn't think about that little detail any longer.

All sorts of emotions imploded within her as she noted that the walls were covered with a silky material, drapes she assumed, and soft light trickled through them, as if there were hidden candles somewhere between the drapes and the walls. The most remarkable feature about them though was, that they were colored in a dark green and red, following one another as they circled the room. It lend the room a faint glow with the colors of their houses.

She couldn't help but gush at the extraordinary detail of it and when she spotted an ancient looking gramophone, the exact same type her grandfather used to have, she was only to be shocked some more that Draco had put so much thought into this. She was oddly touched.

Draco watched her walk away from him as she headed toward the gramophone, her hand carefully reaching out to stroke against its surface. He swallowed loudly, his adam's apple bopped and his mouth was unnaturally dry. "What do you think?" he asked.

She turned her head in his direction and smiled the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. "I'm speechless," she admitted slowly and beamed.

A low chuckle escaped Draco's lips and he shook his head. "That would be a first, Granger." She threw him a half-hearted glare but came back to him, just in time when he picked out his wand from his pocket and flicked it at the gramophone. Slowly, the music began to fill the room with a melody that seemed to mourn about loss and heartbreak. Hermione's smile sunk in but she took the hand he offered her nontheless.

"May I ask for this dance?" he mused, a glow illuminating his pupils.

"I must warn you though, I'm not that good of a dancer," she admitted and stood infront of him as he placed his free hand on the small of her back and pulled her close to his body. His fingers weaved through hers and he gave her a reassuring squeeze of his hand before he took off and spun them slowly around.

"That's alright, I'll guide you," Draco whispered and glanced down at her with a smirk as he watched her pay an enormous amount of attention to her feet, too afraid to step on his. "Look me in the eye, Granger. The rest will come."

She obeyed and lifted her head, locking her eyes with his she gazed deeply into them, gaining more and more confidence which each swirl they took. There was a delicate tingle on her back where Draco's warm hands were.

She wanted to absorb this moment, to walk around for the rest of her days with his touch encased in her skin. As if he were able to read her mind, he suddenly said, "I wish I could freeze this moment, this right here, and live in it forever. Always remembering you like this - how beautiful and charming you look. I've never seen something so beautiful."

Hermione's cheeks darkened with a soft blush and she nodded her head in response. "You know, there is a way to freeze a moment -"

"There is?" Draco echoed, his voice astouned.

"Kiss me," she whispered, her lashes throwing dark shadows across her cheekbones as she looked down, too ashamed that he would neglect her proposition.

Draco laughed, laughed like a windchime in a storm and bent his head down until their lips met. The touch of her lips on his were so warm, so relaxing that he was beyong worrying about a future he would never have. _We were meant to be like this way_, he thought as she weaved her arms around his neck and parted her lips which tasted sweeter than anything Draco knew. His heart skipped three beats as her kiss became hungrier and more demanding. Hermione devoted herself completely to this kiss and him, this devotion was as irresistible as unexpected.

Hermione tasted salt, sugar and Draco's manly aroma and asked herself if anyone else had ever sensed those impressions as intensively as she did now. Golden light danced like diamonds around them and she believed her heart would stop, but she didn't care. In this strange and wonderful world everything was insignificant, except for the taste and pressure of his lips.

As they drifted apart, Hermione looked up at him with big, dreamy eyes and pressed her lips together to taste their kiss once again. Draco nudged the tip of his nose against hers and whispered against her lips, "I will definately live in this moment forever," he declared and felt her smile against his lips.

They continued to dance in silence, Hermione leaned her cheek against his suit and listened to the heaving and sinking of his chest. Her thoughts were just barely whispering in her mind now but she knew that she wanted to dance with Draco forever, like two waterdrops that join and merge into one. That kind of dance you were supposed to have after you get married. She caught herself thinking about _their_ wedding, how her father would hand her over to Draco and their lifelines would merge into one.

She then embraced the fact that this person belonged with her. He was her best-beloved, her rock and her magic. It didn't matter how they had gotten to this point or what had happened before. He was her soul-mate and she would fight for him.

How could you describe love? If you loved someone then you thought that this person was the best in the world, didn't you? But what if that person didn't think of himself that way? Hermione thought, the whole purpose for her of them being together right now was to make him believe that he was perfect - as perfect as a human could be - and the most beautiful soul she had ever met.

"I have something to confess," she suddenly whispered and raised her gaze to meet his expecting eyes which lay calmly on hers."I have fallen in love with you. I love a man whom I never thought I could love - what...I'm...trying to say is...whenever my conscious alerted me of my feelings for you...I played it off as...You've created this impression within my head that no one will ever be able live up to… apart from you." Her voice broke off into a small whisper as Draco's eyes widened at her words.

_I love you,_ he thought. But he had never said it aloud before. It was not that he feared she would laugh in his face. His fear was a greater one—that she wouldn't say it back. He slowly released her and a pain of anxiety weaved through Hermione. However, he took one of her hands in his and smiled lightly at her.

"I love you," he murmured, overwhelmed with the truth behind his words. Hermione looked at him and saw that he meant it.

"I love you, too."

Draco kissed the palm of her hand, the pulse point of her wrist and leaned his cheek into her palm as he locked his eyes with hers.

"You took a piece from me and changed me, you became a part from me, instead," he continued and embraced the warm touch of her skin on his, his smile engraved on his features. "You are a part of me, you'll always be. I am not Draco Malfoy without you."

"My world wouldn't be the same without you in it."

Draco nodded, encouraged by her words. "None of us can deny that our path has been complicated. But in the end, love makes everything simple. Forgive me for all I've ever done to you."

_And forgive me for everything I might do in the future which which will break your heart beyond repair._

Was he selfish?

Certainly.

Was he selfless enough to give her up just yet?

Certainly not.

His breathing became laboured as he watched her honey-shaded eyes stare up at him and he resisted the urge to kiss her. He knew, that he could have her now - one touch, one word would be enough.

And he would hate himself for it, knowing it wasn't right.

"Forgive me," he repeated, his voice trembling lightly.

"I forgave you a long time ago already," Hermione whispered and leaned up to catch his lips in a sweet kiss. As she broke the kiss, she rested her forehead against his and shut her eyes, stunned by her affection. "I love you, Draco."

This was as close to pure and good as he would ever come and he wanted to savour the moment before he inevitably had to destroy this little piece of heaven. He grasped her hand again and spun her around to the sound of broken dreams and last good-byes.

* * *

The air was dusty and shadowed, even in the moonlight that was brought in through the thick heavy clouds above their heads. Something about the Astronomy Tower being so empty and void of all life, with nothing but strange devices to appease the witch, had Hermione feeling a little unsettled.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked and turned to Draco who held a wrapped up package behind his back, a mischievious smirk on his face.

"I'm keeping a promise," he replied cooly and shrugged, handing the package to her. With her first touch she could already tell what it was and she stared wide-eyed at him but Draco's smile widened. "Come on, I've got something to show you."

"Draco - "

"Just open it," he ordered and crossed his arms infront of his chest.

Hermione shook her head rapidly and tried shoving it back into his hands. "No. Draco. No. Just no! You know how I feel about flying!" She shrieked and gave up reluctantly in giving it to him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed her around her waist and grabbed her broom, removing the wrapping swiftly and tossing it aside.

"Where did you get it?" Hermione demanded, staring at in his hands. It was a shiny mahagoni brown, with silver-rimmed streaks painted on it. She could only guess that it was worth a fortune.

"I bought it for you. I was convinced that you needed it," said Draco.

"You bought it for me?" She was still staring.

"Uh-huh. I'm pretty good at riding a broom." He swung a leg over it, and beckoned her to come and sit behind him. "Come on, let's take a ride." As Hermione shook her head once more he smirked. "Bet your cute little arse on it that I will get you on that broom. "

"Well, at least I know you can ride a broom. I certainly cannnot," she said, getting on behind him. "If we crash into a tower or anything, I'll kill you, you know that?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he laughed. "I have perfect reflexes, don't worry. It will be fine. I won't let you fall or anything." The broom vibrated beneath them with a roar much like a bike coming to life, drowning out his laugh. Shrieking, Hermione grabbed a hold of his belt as the broom hurlted up and set up off the ground with a jolt, launching itself into space.

The wind tore her hair as they rose up, up over the Astronomy Tower, up above the roofs of the nearby high-rising towers. And there it was spread out before her like a glistening diamond in the sunlight, the Castle more amazing than she had ever imagined: There was the enchanted roof of the Great Hall sprawled out under them, there were lights in some windows where the inhabitants were leaning over their work, there were owls dancing through the night on their way to the Owlery and, as they swung out over the Black Lake, she saw the darting flash of muticolored tails under the silvery skin of the water, the shimmer of long hair and heard the high, screeching laughter of the mermaids.

The wind blew through her hair, causing the lion earring to roar continuously and she couldn't say much due to the strength of the blowing wind getting caught in her throat as Draco made it outside of the Castle and higher up in the clouded sky.

Draco turned to look over his shoulder, the wind whipping his hair into tangles. "What are you thinking?" he called back to her.

"That I'm trying really hard not to throw up on your suit, Malfoy," she screamed as he angled the broom toward the Lake. Her hands tightened on his belt as they dipped lower and lower over the water. "Draco!"

"Don't worry." He sounded maddeningly amused. "I won't drown us, I know what I'm doing."

She squinted her eyes against the tearing wind and groaned as she saw just how high they were from the ground and she held on tighter to Draco's waist as she sat on the broom more comfortably .

She rolled her eyes and screamed further as he did a back flip in the air with it. "Draco, you're mental. Put me down, now!"

"No." He leveled the broom out carefully as they rose from the Lake's surface. "I want you to see something."

"All I want to see," she said. "is firm ground beneath my feet."

She didn't hear him laugh, but she felt it, vibrating through his ribcage and into her fingertips. Eventually, the broom became slower and Hermione loosened her grip on his belt just a tad bit and peeled her eyes open, praying that they were landing.

Unfortunately for her, the broom was almost perfectly still in the air, only slightly swooshing from side to side when a breeze hit them. She peered around Draco's shoulder and saw that they were facing the Castle, the secrets of the Forbidden Forest sprawled out at their feet.

"What are we doing here?" she asked and observed his face curiously.

He shook his head at her to cut her off and gazed at the Castle, but his eyes saw something entirely different. "I never knew the concept of belonging anywhere. But you make me feel like I belong - like I belong with you." He glanced sideways at her. There was something about the way the lack of lightness in his eyes that made her feel unbearably sad.

"Draco, I - "

He held her gaze, then broke it with a smile - crooked and warm. "I let you down but I'll be damned if I don't try to make it up to you. I promised you a sunset...well I hope you are satisfied with a ride into the sunrise, too."

Hermione's mouth fell open as her memory went back to the fatal events in the Room of Requirement._ 'You are interpreting too much into this. Hey, a little quickie would have been nice but you can't possibly expect to ride into the sunset with me ,' _he had said and with that, shattered her heart into thousand pieces.

She held on tightly as he angled the broom up again, quickening the speed so that it shot forward and darted up the side of the Forbidden Forest like a bird freed from a cage. Her stomach dropped out from under her as the silver waves of the lake spun away and the crowns of the trees slid under her feet as they rushed toward the Castle and into the first signs of the rising sun, but this time Hermione kept her eyes open, so that she could see it all.

* * *

"Now, that wasn't that bad was it?" asked Draco as he angled the broom toward the ground.

Hermione shook her head in silence, not trusting her voice. She was grateful to sit behind him, to be able to bury her face between his shoulderblades as she felt tears slip past her lashes. She was both breath - and speechless, he had easily touched this tired heart of hers and shown her how it was like to feel fine, at ease with herself. He had healed the scars in no time, embraced her soul and loved her mind; he was easily the closest to an angel she knew.

"Hermione?" He asked, an edge of worry in his voice as he realized that she was sniffing. "I'm getting us down, don't worry." He rushed down, eager to get the much anticipated firm ground under her feet again.

He leveled the broom out carefully and she slid off of it before they had even landed. Hermione lost balance and fell to the ground with a low thud.

Everything around Draco seemed to become motionless, he himself moved as if in slow-motion as he jumped off his brom and hurried to Hermione's side. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she groaned and struggled to get up, he slid an arm around her waist and steadied her as she rose to her feet. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Hermione noticed his panic-stricken voice and nodded her head, ignoring the sharp pain in her shins. Nothing that a nice shower wouldn't relax, she thought, but she allowed Draco to support her nontheless.

"It was a stupid idea, I'm sorry," he whispered as he dragged her across the grounds toward the Castle, eager to force her to lay down and rest. When had he become this overprotective? He couldn't tell, nor did he really care.

"It wasn't," she protested immediately as they entered the Castle quietly, aware of the fact that Breakfast would soon start and that neither of them had slept all night. Had it really been just a few hours ago that she had woken up to a letter? At least, she thought, it was a weekend and she could go to sleep right away, hopefully with Draco at her side once more.

Glancing over at him she noticed how empty his eyes were, all color had left his face and he looked unnaturally anxious. "Are you alright?" she murmured but Draco remained silent as they climbed up the staircases.

"I'm really fine," she urged as they walked through the corridor toward her dorm, "your idea was brilliant. It's not your fault that I'm not comfortable on a broom, that I was a little _too_ eager to get to the ground again."

"You could have hurt your head, Granger," he groaned and came to a halt infront of the door. Hermione slipped past him and flicked her wand against the doorhandle to unlock it, beckoning him to enter as she held the door open for him.

"I _could _have, but I didn't," she continued and placed the broom neatly across her desk whilst Draco sat down on the edge of her bed. He covered his face with his hands and mumbled something against his skin she couldn't hear.

"Draco?" she asked and put her hand carefully on his shoulder. He didn't flinch away but didn't seem to acknowledge her touch either. She frowned deeply and sat down beside him. "What's on your mind?"

Several minutes passed in which both Hermione and Draco sat in silence, only occasionally interrupted by Hermione's urgent plea to say something. Slowly, he removed his hands from his face and glanced over at her, his pupils strangely dilated.

"You could have hurt your head," he said once again and Hermione cocked her eyebrow. "I could have hurt you, Granger."

She shook her head persistently, "That's rubbish. It's my fault that I jumped off. And nothing happened, you see."

Draco groaned and hid his face once again. Hermione studied his face warily, curious as she always was as to why he was behaving so completely out of character.

"You can't stay cooped up like that forever," she snapped and rose to her feet swiftly. "Eventually you'll have to tell me what got your wand into such a fucking knot."

He glared up at her then and she could see through his eyes that his mind worked rapidly; whether he wanted to yell at her or scream, she couldn't tell. He let out a noise much like a choked laugh, but there was an edge to it which made him sound like a wounded animal.

Pity jolted through Hermione and her features softened. "Just tell me what's wrong, please."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because there is only so much hurt a person can take, before that person breaks and loses control. Before you don't want this any longer," he mumbled through his gritted teeth. "I never meant to hurt you, I swear."

Hermione threw him a confused look and leaned against her desk as she studied his face warily. "What are you talking about?" she required and saw how he stole a quick glance at her face, a glance which only lasted a fraction but was enough to have her heart racing.

"I didn't want to hurt you, don't you ever listen?" he snapped and jumped to his feet.

"Frankly, I don't," she retorted and stared furiously at him.

Draco threw his arms up as if he wanted to rip bits of his hair out but thought the better of it and dropped his arms again. "I didn't want to damage your brain some more, Granger."

She gasped in shock at what she thought was an insult. "I'm not stupid and you know it!"

"That's not what I'm talking about, damn it."

"What are you talking about then? Why don't you just fucking enlighten me already?" She had a feeling they would be at each other's throats within the next moments; everything inside of her hoped they wouldn't but she also knew that she was way too stubborn to just drop the subject.

Draco stared at her with a measuring look on his face.

_What do you have to lose?_

He had always known that at some point, she would find out the truth, whether he wanted to or not. He owed her that much. But never would he have thought that the end would come so soon, so abruptly.

"I've changed your memory."

His words hung in the air like a death sentence, the blood racing through Hermione's ear with such force she thought her heard was going to explode.

"You did _what_?" she repeated, her voice shaking even harder than her frame.

Draco narrowed his eyes at her reaction, resisting the urge to walk over and craddle her against his chest. He knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to let go. "You remember the weekend where you were so sick after I showed up in your room? I altered your memory so you would forget that you saw me and Snape talking about...Death-Eater business," he finished, relieved that he didn't spill his secret about Dumbledore either. He had been right, there was only so much a person could take and he was sure that this piece of information would have been too much for her to bear.

Wasn't this already too much though?

Hermione sealed her eyes shut and took some deliberate breaths, glad to see that her chest was still heaving even though she felt like all the air around her had vanished completely.

A low knock on her door snapped her out her reverie and her eyes peeled open, glancing quickly over at Draco. His face was telling her that he was just as confused as she was.

Slowly, like in trance, Hermione turned the doorknob and stared into the furious eyes of Ronald Weasley.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"Huh?" was all Hermione could answer, her gaze wandered over her shoulder for a second where Draco stood against her closet with a mask of indifference on his face.

"Harry told me that he delievered you to Hagrid's hut but you never showed up."

Hermione's eyes widened as she realized where the conversation was heading to and she shook her head softly. "Can we talk about this at breakfast? I'll be ready in - "

"Don't bother." Draco's voice yelled from inside and he reached his arm out over her shoulder to grab the doorknob and opened the door further to slip past them. "I'm leaving."

"Wait, you can't just - "

"What is _he _doing here?" Ron's voice overpowered hers and his gaze flickered between Hermione's face full of sadness and Draco's back who quickly disappeared into the next corridor. Hermione's chest tightened and bile coated her tongue as she watched the man who she loved leave her.

* * *

Draco's head still throbbed painfully.

He had sent an House-Elf to go and get him something for his headache but he had returned with empty hands, only to tell him that he should check into the Infirmary before he could get any medication. He had thrown a book at him in response.

Collapsing back onto his bed, he closed his eyes tightly and rubbed his face with sweaty palms, the only warm part of his body while the rest seemed to be as cold as ice. He didn't know if it was simply cold in his room or if coldness seeped through his bones because of the feeling of being lost which once again overwhelmed him.

He had no idea how long it had been since he'd left her, but it felt like the loneliest hours of his life.

Confusion and tension pulsated through him as he continued to lay there, his eyes snapping open every now and then to check the time. It angered, oddly soothed and scared him that she had such an effect on his body and mind, now that he was sure of her love he didn't know how to live through seperation. He grew more anxious with each second.

___Might as well get used to it._

And just like that he knew. Hermione Granger was who he was meant to spend the rest of eternity with. So why couldn't he have her? Why couldn't he be the one that she chose? Why did Ron get the happy ending? He was not going to force her. But he would wait forever if he had to. Because when it's real, you can't walk away.

Knowing that she was most likely in her room with the Weasel right now, made him so furious that his jaw tensed and his eyes stung with tears of anger.

Even though Draco fell asleep thinking about firecrotch babies with honey-colored eyes, he oddly enough dreamed of Hermione.

* * *

_He was swimming in incredibly clear water, much too clear for the Black Lake, weightless, gracious and flexible like a fish. Deeper and deeper until the sunlight could no longer touch him. Between colorful plants he could see some glowing creatures dancing tango._

_He swam deeper until his surrounding changed from colorful to a dark cool blue. Down here, there was no angst. No responsibility, no death-thread - just an overwhelming feeling of freedom and utter happiness._

_He could have stayed here forever, in this silent and peaceful world, unpolluted by sorrows._

_And suddenly he saw her._

_Hermione._

_He swam toward her, through shoals of fish glistening like juwerly. She was hovering like a mermaid, smiling like a sirene and moved her beautiful, gracious hands. Her hair wasn't a mess, instead it waved and twirled in long, silky, autumn-colored strands around her shoulders and naked breasts. Her skin shone white and glowed like a pearl._

_Just like her eyes, which looked at him, honey-colored and amused. _

_He felt helpless, as if he had gotten himself into a maelstrom, and couldn't help himself but to swim closer to her. _

_Her arms weaved effortless around his neck. Her lips parted to a silent invitation and tasted as sweet as honey. As he touched her, it seemed as if he had waited all his life for this moment. Her skin under his hand, the shivering of her muscles when he touched her. The beat of her heart._

_He felt the sweet sigh of her surrender in his mouth, felt the heat which surrounded him as he slid into her, he felt how her legs wrapped around him and her body curved to take him in deeper._

_They moved slowly, their sensations seemed endless. They let their bodies float and waver through the water in a silent union, which left him defenseless, overwhelmed and incredibly happy. He could feel how he exploded inside of her._

_She then kissed him softly, deeply and incredibly affectionate. When he looked at her face again, she smiled. He reached her arms out for her but she shook her head and swam away. He followed her and they played like children, swimming in a neverending circle of love._

_She guided him to the shore and climbed out of the water, laughed as she fell down to the ground and opened her arms for him. Her eyes were bathed in light. He ran his hand through her wet hair which smelled like rain and made her laugh._

_Never in his life had he seen something so beautiful, so faszinating like her._

_But suddenly, there were flames surrounding them and a vulcano of red and green heat and light jerked him backwards. Horror-stricken, he watched how the fire grew bigger and more intense and Hermione was suddenly surrounded by flames. All he could see were her horrified, desperate eyes._

_He couldn't reach her. Even though he fought against the invisible force which held him back he couldn't get to her, everything that had once been peaceful and calm was now a swirl of motion and sounds. A flash of light shot toward the sky and blinded him. He could hear the crackling sound of the fire and smelled the sweet scent of burnt flesh._

_Then he heard screams - hers, and his own._

And suddenly, everything was gone; the flames, the Lake and Hermione. Above him, he saw the stone ceiling of his dorm. The night was so silent and dark like ink.

He was inside of his bed, lay there covered in sweat and gasped for breath.

* * *

**I'm sorry that I didn't update this weekend like I usually do but I was a little consumed with reading Water for Elephants and getting prepared for the release of City of Fallen Angels. I don't know how soon I can promise you the next chapter because I'm dying to read the book but I will make sure not to leave you guys hanging for too long.**

**At this point, I'd like to say thank you to Lehava who wrote such a touching review (: I'm more than just astouned but also honored that my story helped to convert you into a Dramione Shipper. I promise you that now you are in our happy place, you will never want to leave again *g***

**Read and Review!**

**Love,**

**Letmesignxx**


	23. Chapter 23

**I guess that I have to warn you. Be prepared for some Lemon and Lime, also known as Sexual Content. If you are underage please skip the part once Hermione closes the curtains. If not, enjoy it ;)**

* * *

Silence surrounded them like a thick layer of dust as Hermione slowly shut the door after Draco had left and turned around toward Ron, who had stalked into her room and was now leaning against her closet with a face full of confusion mixed with bits of anger.

Hermione gulped a heavy clot of guilt down her throat and wringed her hands nervously. "Ron, I - "

"Is this why you didn't show up to our date? You were busy screwing Malfoy?" he interrupted her and pointed at the door as if Draco was still there.

Hermione knew that mood. "No," she said quickly. "Whatever you think this was - "

But he ignored her. When Ron moved, he moved fast, almost invisible to her eyes and closed the distance between them with two steps. She saw his hand go to his face, and then something flashed in his eyes. She heard the sound of a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands shaking terribly. She was sure that, if she would feel his pulse, she could tell that his heart beat faster.

"Is it so hard for you to be faithful? Is this some new Hermione thing you've got going on?" he whispered and Hermione's eyes filled with tears. She was looking up at him with her dark golden eyes; she wondered if he had grown more within the last few weeks but she couldn't ask him: This wasn't the best moment for a profound question.

She refused to give him the satisfaction of getting further under her skin as he continued with his accusations and insults until nothing was left in him apart from the salty taste of tears.

"When did you fall for that pisser?" he required suddenly, his eyes burning with rage.

"Stop insulting him!" It was her turn to shout now. She had spent the last weeks holding back and Draco was right, she thought, there was only so much someone could take before you break. It was her turn to break. "You don't know a thing about him, okay? He isn't consumed by hate anymore, he redeemed himself."

Ron laughed. "That's what he told you."

"It's what I know!"

Tears fell freely down her face now and her breathing was uneven, interrupted by hiccuping sobs. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. If only Draco's strong arms were there to keep her from falling.

"You are too high on your moral horse, Hermione," Ron said rather sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "Always so eager to save people."

"I don't - "

"But that little piece of shit Malfoy can't be saved. You can't save everyone."

"Ron, don't you dare! It's not your place to - "

"Don't you dare tell me what I can do or not," he shouted, unable to control himself. "I'm so sick of you and your continous lecturing me about every little thing. So sick of it."

Hermione gasped under her breath, her arms wrapped around her body as if she wanted to hold herself together. This wasn't how she had expected it to be.

Slowly, as if he was waking up out of a dream, Ron stepped back; his cheeks were flushed and his eyes fever-bright. He reached past her before she could say anything and grabbed a hold onto the doorknob. "I love you, Hermione," he said without looking at her. "You know that, don't you? More than you know and more than I probably should - " He broke off and turned around to face her, his eyes not quite looking at her.

There were a thousand things she wanted to say, but he was already turning away again and she didn't know what exactly to say to begin with. I am sorry? You deserve better? None of it seemed to mean enough.

Her voice croaked harshly when she spoke, hot tears streaming down her face. "I love you, too," she said. "But it will never be enough."

"Neither of us deserve you, Hermione," he said and Hermione was surprised to still see him, he was holding tightly onto the doorknob and stared blankly out into the corridor, as if something held him back and drew him toward her instead. "Especially not him."

"Don't say that," she mumbled and wiped the back of her hand across her cheek.

"I thought you would realize that if I made everyone believe he had sex with you and went off bragging about it, but there must be something about him that makes you so weak for him, that you would forgive even that," he continued and turned around slowly. All the harshness in his voice was gone as suddenly as it had come.

All blood was drained from Hermione's face and she stared at him, gold and blue eyes met for only a fraction of a moment but it was enough to understand what he meant.

"You did that?" she croaked.

Instead of answering he reached into his pockets and drew out a wrapped up box. Up close, it looked much bigger than Hermione had assumed it was when she had first spotted it in Hagrid's Hut. Without any further explanation he put it onto her dresser and stalked out of the room, Hermione's eyes fixed on his back.

She couldn't tell for how long she stood there but suddenly, there was a purring sound and her eyes darted toward Ron's present which began to shuffle around quickly from one spot to another.

_Engagement rings don't vibrate, _she thought with a frown and before the box could fall off her dresser she stuck her hand out and caught it in her palm.

Puzzled, she untied the ribbon and opened it. Inside was something tiny and fluffy, the fur resembled a soft pink shade. A purr erupted from within its body and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Disturbed by the soft purring, Crookshanks stalked out from under her bed and jumped up onto her dresser, his dented nose bumped into her palm and he released a purr of his own.

Pygmy Puffs, she had to admit, were quite endearing but the sense of delight quickly vanished just to be replaced by guilt.

Hermione hated to admit it but she had been wrong.

Ron had never once thought about proposing to her.

She had jumped into conclusions, eager to find a way to get away from him.

Was she, in the end, no better than what he thought of her?

Quickly, she drew a scarf out of a drawer and built a little nest to lay her new pet into before she left her room and her dark thoughts behind.

* * *

Once Draco had woken up from a dream that would probably cost him his soul, he rummaged through his closet and drawers only to be interrupted by Hermione crushing into his room, reeling and gasping as if the end of the world was close.

"Draco!"

"Granger," he replied with that typical Draco sneer stretching over his face, but beneath it all he was trying to ignore the desperation that was clearly shining through her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hermione asked and stared bewildered at the bags at Draco's feet, as if she was searching for a confirmation to the icy feeling she had inside of her chest since he had left her.

"I am leaving. What does this look like to you?" Draco opened his arms as if it was obvious and rolled his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean? You can't just leave."

"It means that I'm about to go to through that door, get my bags into a carriage and get as far away from this fucking place as I can, Granger. I'm leaving, moving on, flipping the page; call it whatever you want."

"You have school, Draco - " she protested but he laughed, a sound so bitter that it made her stomach turn.

"School? Do you think any of this matters to me? The only reason why I came back this year was because I had to - I had a task and I'm failing terribly at it. So before any of them can get me, I'll be gone."

"W-what about your mother? I thought you wanted to protect her," Hermione threw in with her trembling voice and Draco swallowed slowly.

"I will get to her and make sure she's safe, don't hurt your little head worrying about it."

"You can't just leave Hogwarts, you can't just leave everything behind...you can't just leave me. Not after all the things we've been through." She couldn't help the sudden rising of her voice, the anger that swelled up inside of her as Draco squinted his eyes shut in exhaustion. He was unsure about what exactly she expected from him, she had made her choices clear so why was she here now? He tried to concentrate on his decision not to let his his feelings get the better of him and have control over himself once more.

"I've lived without you before, I've dealt with the pain of living without you before. I can easily live without you again," he stated but wasn't quite able to control the pain tinting his voice.

It didn't slip Hermione's attention. "So you are running away. Again."

"What?" Draco looked at her both confused and surprised at the same time. "Again?"

"You practically ran away from the strength of your feelings when we were in the Room of Requirement because you were hurt."

Hurt was the understatement of the century in his eyes but he remained silent.

"Instead of staying with me there you ran. You ran away because you were hurt, I betrayed your trust and you just couldn't bear all that pain and the fact that I chose Ron over you." Draco's mouth dropped open in astonishment but Hermione continued. "If you would have stayed today, you would know that I did not chose Ron. I am here. Please don't run away again and stay."

Draco moved slowly toward her with an expression Hermione couldn't decipher. She locked her eyes with his, honey lost in steel-gray. "Just let me go. It will be so much easier for everyone," he declared and slid past her but she grabbed his hand and held him back. Draco's eyes stared down at her grip and lingered there, imprisoning the sight within his memory. He knew that he could have set himself free from that hand within a blink but he didn't - there was an unnatural force holding him back. A force much stronger than Hermione's tiny hand, a force he could only name as want and need. There was a part of him, and at this point it didn't matter how tiny that part was, that was rebelliously fighting against his decision and holding onto his last glimpse of hope that Hermione needed and wanted him as much as he needed and wanted her.

His eyes slowly moved from her fragile hand to her moist eyes and he sighed loudly as she said, "I know that I'm the most selfish person in this world because I keep hurting the people around me and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, at this point."

"Then why? Why are you here and desperately trying to make me stay?" he asked, his eyes hardening. "You just used me to get over your fear of being with the Weasel and I altered your memory for fuck's sake. You were sick like a dog because of me."

"Because I care, Draco. You mean a lot to me and I know that you just did that to protect me."

"I was protecting myself, Granger. You were nothing more than a Mudblood to me."

As if her hands were an independent part of her body, they slowly moved to either side of his face and she held it closely to her own as her eyes bore into his with such intensity it made Draco's mouth feel dry.

"I was too scared to admit that I feel something for you but now that both you and I know that there is something magical between us...I can't just let go of you, Draco."

"That doesn't change the most important fact, Granger. I still can't be what you want me to be. What you need me to be." His confession hurt more than he would have thought, his chest tightened and his breathing became laboured with the growing anxiety to be seperated.

Hermione shook her head at that, sniffing away the tears which blinded her sight. She was so close, so close to his surrender that she couldn't give up. "You are too occupied with finding flaws that aren't there, so occupied that you don't even know anymore what you feel." Her lips were close to his now - he could feel the warmth radiating from her and seeping into his bones like a secret enchantment. "What are you feeling right now?" she asked.

_Too much_, he thought, as his heart opened up again. _And it hurts too much to hope. _His eyes glistened and he shook his head slowly.

"Answer my question. What are you feeling?"

"Pain!" he shouted and drifted away from her, his body fighting for composure.. "Confusion, heartache. You are right, I am too occupied. You throw me into a fucking turmoil as soon as you get near me. As soon as you touch me. You are a part of me now, and nothing you could do would ever change that because I fucking love you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"It's enough. Get your bags."

He stared at her with wide eyes. "What?"

"Get your stuff. You are coming with me."

"I am doing what?"

"Ugh...to hell with your stuff!" He had indeeed told her what she wanted to hear and she wouldn't give him another chance to change his mind. Not this time. She grabbed for his hand with one of hers, his bag in her other hand and pulled him along, out of the room.

"Did you go mental or something?"

"I did weeks ago already and that's all your fault," she muttured at him as she led him through the deserted corridors and out of the Castle.

"I know that I said that I wanted to leave but this isn't a solution to our fight," Draco said, trying to sound careless. Hermione came to a halt and his breathing stopped for a second. For a moment, he thought she was going to punch him.

"It's about damn time, that we continue with what we should have done weeks ago already. I want you and you just admitted that you want me too. You had plenty of time to think about this, if we don't stay the course we will never get any further." Ice-cold wind hit against her face as a new wave of tears spilled onto her cheeks, a tingling burn on her delicate skin. "Look me in the eye, Draco, and tell me that you didn't mean the things you said, that everything we do doesn't mean a thing to you and I will turn around and walk back in there."

Surprised, he ran a hand through his tousled hair. She had practically kidnapped him and now she let him decide? "You expect me to stay here and discuss the nature of sexual attraction in the middle of the night?" he asked jokingly.

"No, I expect you to say yes or no," she answered without any tint of humour.

He stared back at the Castle which lay almost in darkness, his eyes then wandered up to the clouded stars.

_Damn it!_

"You don't have any clothes with you, I don't even know where you are taking me."

"Is that a yes?"

He parted his lips and heard himself stammer. "This is absolutely crazy."

"So yes," she decided and dragged him along into the darkness until they reached the gate. There, she took his hand into hers and glanced at him with a heartbreakingly beautiful smile that made it so easy for him to smile back at her. "Do you trust me?"

"I trust you," he murmured, his voice confident with honesty.

"I'll guide you," Hermione chirped and before he could seal his promise with a kiss she stepped forward and the familiar pull behind his navel dragged him into the darkness, his hand never letting go of hers.

* * *

The first thing Draco noticed as he opened his eyes was, how graceful Hermione stood next to him while his knees buckled with motion sickness.

"Fuck," he groaned and Hermione put a supporting hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," he managed to choke out and stood up straight, his hand reaching for hers again as a little house infront of him came into view. Not quite impressive from the street, a stone faced building gracefully transformed into a multi-tiered mid-terrace with a tiny garden filled with bushes and flowers he didn't know. Even from outside, where a cruel wind danced across his face, it looked warm and cozy.

"It's not much compared to a Manor," Hermione said as she watched him, "but it's home to me."

"It definately looks like it," he agreed with a smile and pointed his free hand at the garage where an old Mustang was parking. "What's that thing?" he asked.

He heard her laugh as she pulled him along and opened the little gate which led into the garden. "That's a car." At his puzzled expression, she added. "A muggle way to transport, you may call it."

"Uh huh," was all he said and his eyes caught glimpse of a tiny wodden sign next to the frontdoor which read "Here lives Family Granger."

"And we haven't moved since I was born," Hermione added and Draco realized that he had read it out loud. With a light tap of her wand, something behind the door clicked and she was able to open it, flicking on lights at random as she walked through the hallway and helped herself out of her coat. Looking back, she eyed him still standing in the doorframe and she smiled encouragingly. "You may enter, Sir."

"It's the first time that I am inside a Muggle household," Draco admitted and shut the door behind him. "This could be...interesting."

"Nothing's going to bite you, you know," Hermione teased and her hand stroked almost tenderly over the stair-rail as she began mounting it, Draco on her heels as if a spell magically connected him to her. She moved, he moved.

"Aren't your parents home?" he asked with a nervous edge to his voice and almost involuntarily, he glanced over his shoulders as if he expected someone to sneak up on him.

"They are on vacation until some time next week. Regarding the War, I asked them not to go but they are a little stubborn. So we are alone which means that you won't have to meet them just yet," she explained and opened the last door in the hallway. At her remark, his stomach made a backflip but he concentrated on what he thought was supposed to happen next.

"At least I now know where you got your stubbornness from," he teased.

The room was bright, airy and painted in dreamy pastel shades. There were soft pillows sprawled out on her bed at one wall of the room, his eyes fixed on the white sheets and he jumped lightly as Hermione pulled the curtains closed and painted the room in darker colors.

Only Merlin could tell how nervous he was.

_Get a grip,_ he scolded himself but he still felt oddly disconnected from the world, as if he didn't belong here.

"Granger - "

Shy rays of light peered through the curtains as Hermione locked her eyes with him, the sight of her completely knocked the air out of him when he realized that they were inside of her room, at her parents' house, and completely alone. At this point, there was no one and nothing which could interrupt the sweet sensation that mingled through the air. Her face was lightly flushed, the familiar halo of Autumn-colored curls fell losely around her shoulders. Her chest heaved with a strange rhythm as her dilated eyes darkened with craving and lust; it gave her a look he had only dreamed about before. Not only was she beautiful, but alluring on top of that.

Both of their feet began to move without warning.

"I just…" she whispered with obvious nerves. "I just wanted one night to - tell me if this is stupid," she said as she stopped infront of him but Draco's hands were already knotted in her hair, stroking through the yielding silk that was her mane. He knew that she was over-analyzing the situation, that he was so close to satisfy his constant desire for her and that she very well could burst his dreams into a thousand shreds again. Only this time, he wouldn't allow it.

"Have you never made a mistake?" Draco asked and peered down at her, his perfect teeth glowing in the darkness. She realized that she was smiling back at him and shook her head.

"No, not really."

She shut her eyes and could have sworn that the ground beneath her was falling apart.

"Draco, I - " she began and drew in a shaky breath. Would he flinch away now that they were so close to their perfect moment? "Please, be careful." Hermione knew what she was asking for, as much as Draco was aware of how much she was giving him. A jolt of affection went through him and he bent his head down to meet her lips.

He had believed that he needed to dive into her immediately, the same way he would dive under a cold shower when he needed to save his sanity or maybe to find it again. His hands had been longing for so long to rip at her clothes, to touch the naked skin hidden beneath it and to finally claim what was his.

But the craving, which had brought him to the point where he had followed her here, melted away as her taste washed through him - sweeter as it had been the first time their lips had touched. A love which had never really been his, finally fulfilled him with triumph.

Not once, had he ever felt such intense pleasure rush over him so fast. Her lips weren't just softly giving way, they were moving in perfect synchronization against his, caressing and teasing him as if they were made to be that way. He pulled her closer, needing to feel her close to him. She followed, her arms came up around his neck and her body molded itself to his.

Was this really happening?

Wasting no more time, he tightened his grip with one arm around her waist, letting the other hand bury itself in her hair as he deepened the kiss. It was a kiss, nothing that other couples had not done before but somehow it was a kiss which tempted fate and told the story of doomed lovers.

"I want to look at you," he rasped breathlessly. "I've waited so long to look at you."

Despite her trembling hands, she opened her blouse quickly, with soft and careful movements of her fingers and let it fall to the ground. Hermione's skin was pale as ivory and soft as satin, a perfect tribute to mother nature.

_Beautiful,_ he thought light-headed.

"Draco!" Her hands clung at his shirt and pulled it over his head, passion driving her to feel his bare skin against hers. "Touch me. I want you to touch me."

Her plea was sweet, born of need and lust. His stomach constricted, and he felt himself go harder as his eyes roamed over her shape; his heart hammered mercilessly against his ribs as her slightly trembling palms slid over his cheeks again to pull him into another kiss, her hands fiddling with the hem of his pants. He pushed against her, manoeuvering them both toward the bed and himself out of his pants. With his arms around her tiny frame to steady her, they fell into the mattress.

His lips never once left hers.

His tenderness was unexpected, so irresistible. His hands stroked over her chest and aroused her while his mouth stiffled her sweet sighs. Her fingers explored his muscles, scars and his skin which felt hot under her curious caresses. She tasted him, let her lips and tongue glide over his skin and enjoyed the taste of salt and soap.

She eagerly wrapped her legs around him, making him moan softly at the mere thought of - no, he had to go slow. If anything, he wanted to devour this moment. Reaching behind her, he unclapsed her bra and studied her face which watched him with wide and wary eyes. His mouth came down hard on hers and so they travelled on a journey of neverending passion. She heard his soft whispering as he explored her body. She was moving her body against him in a way that should be forbidden. He knew she couldn't help it, that she needed the small relief it gave her, but it was driving him insane. He tried to steady her hip on another moan, but she just took his hand and placed it on her breast and continued moving against him. A shudder of delight ran through her whole body as his lips found her collarbone, hot and determined skin against hers. His hands moved slowly down her body as his teeth grazed across her collarbone, each stroke caused a heavy beat to go through her.

His fingers tucked into the hem of her underwear and he slowly slid them down her thighs as he he wiggled out of his boxers. Now there was flesh on flesh and it was the purest feeling he knew.

Her body arched like a wave as he pulled her deeper into the moment which was theirs to share until her breath came ragged and laboured and pleas fell from her lips. There was a storm inside of her, the air inside of the room became hot and steamy as Draco's fingertips stroked down the length of her body until he found her most guarded spot. His touch sent her to a whole new level of yearning and he slipped a finger carefully inside of her, hot moist - and dampness welcomed him.

Draco watched her with awe-struck eyes, fascinated by the quick flare-up of absent-mindedness, confusion and finally despair in her eyes as his fingers roamed inside of her. Her moans mixed with his und he could feel how her body tightened and relaxed in wild deliverance.

Now that things were spinning more and more out of control, he knew that he wouldn't be able to control himself much longer. There was nothing he wanted more than her and it seemed like he would never quite be able to make her understand. He struggled against his own lust and his lips dove for her mouth once again. As her breathing slowly relaxed, he pushed her softly but destroyingly into a bottomless world of lust.

Hermione couldn't stop shivering. It seemed as if her body was about to break and she clung to Draco in a feverish embrace. Nothing had ever stirred up her blood and touched her soul quite like his patient, adamant caresses. She no longer had any secrets to hide from him, no pride or books she could hide behind. Whether she was a witch or a mudblood, a girl or a woman, she was giving all of herself willingly and without any regrets to him.

Very softly, Draco finally slid inside of her and enjoyed the feeling, a low whimper fell from his lips as she took him in. She felt fucking fantastic, he thought as he began to shiver just like her and slowly he rested his forehead against hers as she dragged him deeper into her and held onto him with an unbreakable grip.

"Hermione..." The name was nothing more than a hoarse gasp as she moved once again, her hips challenging him to quicken the pace. "Only you," he whispered. "Only you."

His hands searched for hers and he laced their fingers together, exerted to keep the speed low and even in an attempt to drag out the moment which was only theirs. He could feel how both of their hearts hammered against ribs, his blood boiled vigorously inside of his veins, sensed her delicious and sweet surrender.

Her fingers dug into his shouders, her muscles started to tense up around him as she began to quiver in his embrace. A whimper escaped her lips and mingled with a troathy choke of his name. She screamed out his name, as her whole world spiraled out of control and they both stumbled over the edge together. He lost himself so deeply and thoroughly inside of her as they both came undone and released that kind of magic they had never sensed before.

Together they fell deeper and deeper into the magic that was their love.

* * *

Hermione asked herself if this night had changed something.

She was relieved to wake up to his warm arms around her, his head was resting against hers and his breathing came slowly and even. Even his eye behind his lids fluttered lightly, she wondered if, whatever he was seeing, was something happy.

As far as she could remember, they hadn't talked much last night. Admittedly, it would have been difficult to maintain a vaguely serious conversation if your braincells were damaged by hot, adamant lust.

She cracked her eyes open as the sunlight peeked lightly through a crack between the curtains; she moved slowly and sat up which made her instantly aware of the still present emotion of pleasure roaming through her limbs and the pits of her stomach. Her eyes wandered over Draco's sleeping frame, she noticed how his face which she seemed to know better than her own, was still slightly feverish in perfect symbiose with a peaceful smile ghosting around his face.

She drew in a deep breath, trying to ignore the upflaring wave of lust and growing affection and slid into her old bathrobe which hung next to her bed. It was a bit too small for her since the last time she had worn it but she felt comfortable and cozy nontheless.

With a last glance over her shoulder she stepped out of her room and made her way into the cold kitchen.

A frown leaped over her face as she rummaged through the refrigerator which didn't offer her much, she grabbed for a few eggs which didn't seem to be old and noticed a faint grin stretch across her face as she saw her reflection in a water bottle.

A faboulous night lay behind her which had messed up her system quite intensely, cravings had woken up she hadn't even known they existed. And, if she wasn't mistaken, she had woken something up inside of him too.

As she threw the eggs into a pan, she watched dreamily how the sun rose behind the church down the street. She realized that it was time to face the reality as she stared at the far away clockwork. They had to work on their relationship and even though the tension between them had been replaced by something greater, something good and unique, she knew that there were more fights ahead of them.

It seemed unfair to her that two people, who physically worked together just perfectly fine, had to be at each other's throats on other occasions.

_Compromises are the key_, she thought with a sigh.

The eggs were almost done and she dragged her tongue impatiently over her bottom lip, where Draco's taste was tattooed on her skin.

At this moment, Draco stepped into the kitchen with nothing on but his boxers.

"Well, hello there," she whispered, aware of the tightening of her chest and acceleration of her heartbeat.

"Good morning," Draco said and walked over to her, his arm wrapping gently around her waist as he nestled his face into the crook of her neck. "You seem to be able to read my mind," he whispered against her skin and beamed at the eggs.

"Now you can try to read mine, too."

Her thoughts weren't hard to decipher as she turned around and threw her arms around his neck, he lifted her up and dropped her onto the counter.

"Blimey..."

"Exactly." Grinning he pushed her bathrobe open and stared hungrily at her bare breasts. "Blimey, Granger."

About an hour later, they finally ate breakfast.

* * *

**Okay this was much harder than I thought it would be. I am familiar with writing sexual scenes but I didn't want it to become too verbal and visual for this was Hermione's first time. I think that I owed her a soft moment ;) Was it okay? I'm quite nervous about this chapter so let me know what you think.**

**I know that I told you I wouldn't update that soon but, to be honest, I read the novel within a night so I had plenty of time to get to this but alas, I had some complications with FF and couldn't log in for days. But here is the new chapter at last!**

**Do you guys have some tissues ready? The new HP DVD is finally out, I hope you are enjoying it as much as I do :)**

**Read and review and a big thanks to my new and old readers. You all rock.**

**Love, **

**Letmesignxx**


	24. Chapter 24

**I must warn you again, slight sexual content can be found here so either enjoy it or close your eyes when you skip that passage ;)**

* * *

"Where are you taking me?"

Together they stepped out of the backdoor, the sun above their heads shone so brightly that it took her a moment to adjust to the light. There were no clouds, a few birds sung somewhere in a nest and Hermione was almost sure she could even hear some crickets in the back of her yard which desperately needed to be mowed.

It was the most perfect spring day.

"Just watch it," Draco said with amusement in his voice and dragged her across the grass until they reached an ancient cherry tree which blossomed brightly, a nice contrast to the rest of the trees whose leaves were exploding in green and russet. Almost hidden beneath it stood a weather-beaten wodden canopy swing she had forgotten entirely but now, as she took a close look at the gold-coloured wood she remembered the countless afternoons she had spent on it, a book perched open on her lap while she had lost herself completely inside the illusory worlds she loved so much.

"Great, you found my secret hideaway...what now?" she said with a grin, looking at him and the way the sun reflected in his clear eyes. They glinted mischeviously and Hermione realized she knew that expression by now. "Tell me, what are you up to?"

He reached out and twisted a lock of her hair around his fingers as he looked into her eyes. "I found something when you were showering," he began, his voice apologetic. "I'm not sure how it works but it can't be all that different from our kinds."

Hermione tipped her head back to look up at him. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

He smiled, that kind of smile that made her heart ache and her knees wobble; and he touched her face with his fingertops, delicately running them over her cheekbones down to the curve of her mouth.

"I just want to save this moment...this day with you," he said. Though he was looking at her, his gaze seemed distant, as if fixed on something far away. "Just to make sure this is real. That _you _are real."

She caught her hand in his. "I'll always be here."

"No matter what happens?"

"I'll never leave you - " She almost stumbled over the words. "What we have is real."

His eyes focused on her again and a moment later he had drawn her closer; pulled her against him and kissed her fiercely, his hands weaving around her neck. She could feel the hammering beat of his heart with hers and she felt colour creep into her cheeks.

"Sit down," he directed, drawing back, his lips curving into a smile as he waved his hand toward the swing.

Hermione raised her eyebrows delicately but obeyed, she sat down and shifted her weight softly to balance the swing out. Leaning back, she opened her arms in a clearly mutinous manner and laughed. "Now what?"

Draco cast his eyes down and conjured a device up which she clearly recognized as her father's old camera. She couldn't help but to goggle at him.

"I don't think your father would mind me borrowing this, would he? If he does, our first meeting will be just a _little_ bit more awkward," he said with just the faintest smile.

"Are you trying to say that you are afraid to meet my parents? Or just my father?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"No, don't be silly," he said sternly, fidgeting with the camera. "They must be wonderful."

"What gives you that impression?"

"They brought you up after all," was all he said but a wistful smile appeared on his face.

Hermione wasn't sure if she could hide her surprise; she had learned before that, most of the time, the words he chose were not what she would expect. He hadn't disappointed her this time either.

"Just give me your most beautiful smile," he said, sparing her of giving him an answer. Hermione was completely oblivious about what to do, but Draco didn't seem to think so; he moved around infront of her and the yard was filled with the sound of the clicking camera in symphony with the crickets's music.

* * *

"Tell me, what are you thinking about?"

They were settled on the swing, covered by a cozy reddish blanket as they just barely rocked back and forth when Draco occasionally nudged his foot against the ground, adamant not to move too much since Hermione rested perfectly against his chest, her soft curls tickling against his chin.

"Nothing particular," he mumbled and shut his eyes again, baring his face toward the sun.

"You must be thinking about something though," Hermione pryed, running her palm over his arm which was gently draped around her waist. "Anything?"

There was a long silence until Draco finally answered. "I'm thinking about my parents."

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but quickly snapped it shut before a word could escape. If he truely wanted to talk about them, he would come around on his own.

"My father is someone who goes after what he wants. My mother was no exception," he begun and Hermione's mind quickly picked up, tossing his words around in her head as she listened.

"I don't know if you know, but their marriage was arranged. My grandparents had decided they would be the perfect match and it turned out to be exactly like that; once they met, my father wanted her. I'm not sure if it was love on his side, but my mother instantly fell in love with him. His pursuit was direct and at times not exactly subtle, so he told me, but in the end they got married and are still together until this day. On the paperwork, at least," he almost added with a bitter undertone coloring his voice.

"I don't think he feels much for her anymore, not after the last war where his mind got enchanted and poisened with the Dark Lord's ideas and his pursuit of might. My mother would have never left him though, not until he would send her away which he hasn't, obviously. So there is one thing I learned from my mother's feelings for my father..." he paused, his fingers lacing through hers as if to reassure himself that she was still there. "It is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love you don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is giving you little to no attention. I gave up, quite foolishly, but we are here now and we are together. You gave me the gift of a second chance and, in kind, I hope that one day, you can watch me become someone actually worthy of that gift. "

She sighed, a hint of exhaustion painted around the sound. Usually, she would be the last person on earth to be speechless and wringing for words, but what was there to say? He had a way with words she would have never thought he was capable of; he was a tortured artist whose words touched her heart and danced with her soul.

"You are awfully quiet," he concluded with a frown, his hands softly squeezing hers and she shrugged, still wrestling with words that wouldn't come.

"You are worthy," she finally said and he grinned into her crown of hair, grateful that she could not see the relief washing over his face. "I usually doubt everything and everyone but I've realized a while ago that if I stop and question every decision I make, I'll never get anywhere. Just...it wasn't really a decision to forgive you, or to fall in love with you in the first place. I prefer thinking of it as fate or magic, that kind of thing you always dream about but never truely think you would experience it yourself..." her voice grew smaller and eventually trailed off, her already warm cheeks heatening up even more.

"Magic?" he repeated slowly, his smile still carved into his face.

"Yes, magic. Not the kind of magic we do, no. The magic of love. That's why Muggles have so many tales and stories about love, friendship, honour...it's the closest thing we know to real magic," she said with a shrug and turned around on his lap a little to rest her cheek against his chest; his heart fluttered against her ear, almost as if it recognized her and wanted to greet her.

"Right now, Hermione, I'm happier than I've ever been before in my life," he suddenly said, his lips so close to her ear that a shudder ran through her bones.

"Why?" she asked breathlessly.

He smiled, an innocent and warm smile. "You're here, aren't you? It's a perfect moment." He narrowed his eyes as he held her closer and her nose turned pink with a heavy rise of her chest. "Are you crying?"

Hermione sniffed, wiping the back of her sweatshirt under her running nose. "Maybe."

His body tensed automatically, a horrid scratchy gasp escaped his blooddrawn lips. "What did I do?"

"Nothing, they are tears of joy," she mumbled almost shyly and felt how he relaxed almost instantly.

"Why's that?"

"Because you love me."

He laughed, a sound which spoke of relief and joy and he pressed his lips tenderly to her scalp. "I love you very much," he whispered into her hair.

And then something in her mind clicked.

She understood why they had given up but were still here now.

She realized why they couldn't be apart any longer.

If you give up on the person you love, you let go. Letting go of all the stolen plans of the future and the rising hope on a life lived together.

Letting go equaled abandonement.

He sat so close. All strength and heat and silent power. She couldn't escape him, now or ever. He'd always be there, consuming her every thought, her heart locked in his hands; she was drawn to him by forces she couldn't control, let alone escape.

Broken pieces of two people which were slowly dissolving into one strong piece.

One love.

* * *

"Do you think anyone noticed that we were gone?"

Draco, her jacket crinkled up under his arm, was opening the door to his dormitory and let her in, rolling his eyes at her as she didn't look. How natural it was for her to think about what consequences any action could possibly have. But after all, he admitted, her brilliant mind and intelligence were traits he found rather endearing.

She wouldn't be his Hermione without them.

"Relax, Granger. I doubt it, we weren't even gone for a full twenty-four hours," he said and threw her jacket on his bed before he wound his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. In immediate response, she locked both of her hands around the back of his neck and leaned up, and he touched her lips with hers - not a kiss, just the sweetest brush of lips against each other but it was enough to make their pulses speed up and he leaned closer, trying to catch her mouth with his but she jumped away as a knock on the door disturbed their moment.

"Who's that?" she asked, her voice sounded low and a little throaty but beneath it all, he could hear the terror he saw in her widening eyes.

Without any of his customary gentleness he grabbed her arm and almost shoved her through the room and opened his closet. Hermione give him a murdering glare.

"Oh no, I am not getting in there," she hissed as quietly as she could, despite the absurdity of his plan.

"Jesus Christ, I'm trying to protect both of us," he replied, his eyes on her were as sharp as pins.

Reluctantly, she pushed his jackets and cloaks away and climbed in, shaking them around her like a curtain that would hide her from the evil eyes of the world.

At that moment, the door opened and Pansy Parkinson stepped into the room, a look of amusement on her face.

"Hey babe," she chirped and threw herself rather directly at him, her lips diving for his mouth but he managed to turn his face away so they only brushed lightly against his cheek.

"I've been here earlier but you didn't answer but now I found the door unlocked and I...I missed you," she whispered against his skin and he struggled not to push her away too harshly. Nevertheless, a nasty blush coloured his skin and he cleared his throat quite awkwardly.

"I'm here now," he said and slowly pulled away from her, his eyes darting quickly to his closet to see if it was completely shut.

It wasn't and he had the strange feeling that Hermione was watching them with eagle eyes.

"But I'm actually on my way out, to see Snape," he stammered out and saw his own expression reflected in Pansy's eyes, her smile turning icy around the edges.

"I suppose we could have a quickie before you leave," she said. "I love our quickies, you are so bloody hot when you penetrate me like that."

"Uhm, I'm really not into dirty talk, Pansy." Draco tried to keep the sharpness from his voice, and failed. Pansy's smile vanished and he heard a low gasp coming from his closet. He quickly faked a cough to cover it up and was relieved to see that Pansy hadn't heard Hermione.

"Since when?" she teased and ran her tounge delicately over her bottom lip, a demeanor he thoroughly disliked about her since the day he met her. Only this time, it actually aggravated him to an extent that he had to concentrate on keeping his voice low and steady.

"Just go, please. I'm running late as it is already and I don't want to give Snape a reason to give me detention," he explained and fixed her with a cold glare. "I'll meet you later, I have something to talk to you about, anyway."

Pansy craned her neck up and studied his face with a wary look as if she was deliberating whether to hex him or not but in the end, she simply leaned forward again, gave him a quick peck on his lips and turned on her heels to walk away without bothering to shut the door after her.

Once Draco shut it, Hermione crawled out of his closet and stumbled to her feet with her arms crossed over her chest. She had one of those looks on her face which told him that he was in trouble.

"You are still seeing her?" she spat and Draco felt his guts churn painfully.

"No, I don't. In my defense, I didn't really get the chance to break it off with her yet. I spent the last days with you, there was no chance to sneak off and talk to her," he said pleadingly and was relieved to see that Hermione's features softened slowly.

"But you aren't two-timing us, are you? You will break it off with her?" she asked, her eyes strangely dilated.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"

Rolling her eyes, she threw her arms up. "Of course I am. I'm not heartless, you know."

Draco shook his head and reached her arms out for her. "I know you aren't. Feisty? Yes. But not heartless."

Hermione stepped closer and found herself in his arms, he rocked them softly and pressed his cold lips to her forehead. "I may be a git, but not a two-timing one." Cocking his head down, he flicked his tongue along her lips, opening her mouth under his, and she tasted warm and sweet like butterbeer. He clung to her more tightly, knotting his hands in her hair, trying to tell her, with the gentle caress of his lips, all the things that were left unspoken.

_I love you, I love you and I don't know how to be without you._

"So, you don't like dirty talk mh?" she asked as she pulled away for just a fraction of space, her voice tinted with a sense of curiosity that made Draco smirk smugly at her.

"Do you?"

"I'm not sure what I like," she retorted thruthfully and he laughed, stepping over to her so that their bodies nearly touched. Hermione breathed in deeply and closed her eyes for a moment, the image of a pastel-painted room hovering behind her lids.

"I'll show you," Draco whispered, his breath gliding across her lips and before she could protest or phrase any coherent response, he had caught her lips with his and pulled her into another tight embrace. He kissed her gently, carefully even, but it wasn't gentleness they both wanted, not really. She knotted her fists in his shirt, pulling him harder against her to which Draco replied with a low groan coming from his throat. And then his arms were beneath her knees and he lifted her up and dropped her onto his desk. There was a book maybe, or a box, that was digging into Hermione's back but she couldn't be bothered. All that mattered was Draco, all she wanted, felt and saw was him.

He could feel the heat coming from her and burning through his clothes as he pulled at her shirt and removed it swiftly and then somehow, his shirt was off too and her fingers explored his body as his mouth came hard down on hers again. They were both breathing hard when she reached the belt of his jeans and with her heart thudding, she undid it quickly and reached for his hands to put them on her waist where they lay feverishly; on her waist, her body or hair, pulling her against him with the deepest gratitude that she was only wearing a skirt.

Bare skin slid and rubbed together and he wanted to keep touching her, kissing and feeling her; he wanted to hold her and know that she was real and that she would never leave again. With his lips teasing hers, he pulled his boxers down and slid his hands back down her waist just to pull her firmer against his hardening shaft and before he could make another move, her legs had already wrapped around his body and pulled him closer until he entered her with a throaty moan.

"Draco," she whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers grabbing fistfuls of his ice-blond hair to pull him even closer. To melt them together.

He thrusted into her to the sounds of smacking skin and the feverish breaths that escaped their lips in those few moments when they weren't kissing, those moments where his tongue glided smoothly down her throat to nip and bite at her skin of her collarbone which was rewarded by a frantic scratching and grabbing at Draco's neck.

She was hunting for the release, to intensify the burning sensation buried in her core and he was all too willing to give it to her; his fingers wandered down her body until he found that one spot that made her body quake and fall apart into fire and bliss.

Her moans grew louder and her eyes rolled back inside of her head, any thoughts were long lost on the road to heaven and she threatened to suffocate on a deep groan as she let go of everything and reached their destination, her body trashing and quivering in his iron embrace as his own tension burst too.

It was real.

She was real.

Nothing else mattered.

Exhaustion came over him and he nearly collapsed against her, each and every limb in his body full of bliss and she craddled him against her, her hot breath swooshing over his hair.

"I..." she struggled to speak past her heavy breath and swallowed slowly. "I hate to agree with Parkinson but I have to admit that she's right...you are bloody hot when you do that."

"Shut up, Granger," he grunted and tilted his head up to kiss her chin.

* * *

It seemed impossible, but somehow, they were able to disconnect from each other and pull away; Hermione's legs shook so much that she was barely able to hold herself up as she pushed her skirt down, a blush crawling into her cheeks.

Next to her, Draco bent down and retrieved his shirt to pull it over his head. "So you are into quickies?" he asked with a cocky tone.

"You practically pounced on me, you gave me no other choice but to go along with it," she accused slowly, though her teasing tone gave her away and Draco chuckled gently.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and she closed her eyes in response, sighing happily in a way that made something in the pits of his guts flutter, a sensation that was practically a part of him by now for he was so absorbed in his feelings for her.

"I really should go and get some fresh clothes from my room," Hermione rushed out suddenly and he glanced down at her with a sneer.

"Moving in with me already mh?" he asked and she nudged her elbow against his ribs with a soft laugh but her mind was already distracted, a surreal thought had crept its way into her mind.

Was it even surreal?

Was it so hard to imagine the two of them living together?

Not hard.

Not hard but stunning. Too good to be true.

How would their lives look like in -

Draco took one of her hands in his and snapped her out of her reverie, she turned to look at him. It was very dim in his room, but she could see him clearly, his back turned toward his bed, his hand bound to hers. His eyes seemed to gleam softly against his pale skin and she thought that this must be how an Angel looked like.

He was an Angel.

Her Angel.

"You promise, you'll be back soon?" he whispered, his eyes full of hope.

She looked into his eyes and knew what he meant; knew that he, too, was anxious to be apart.

"I promise."

Draco's lips cracked into a smile and he kissed the inside of her palm before he released her. "Go on," he said and she turned and left him behind. Only once, she paused to look back at him but his face lay in shadow, backlit by the glow of a dying sun reaching into the room.

She left, without noticing the gloomy eyes of Pansy Parkinson following her every move.

"Well look who we have here," she whispered, unheard by any living soul.

* * *

Hermione's slender frame vanished around a corner, leaving Pansy sitting in a darkly-lit window-seat which was dim enough not to be seen by any person who was walking by.

Eerily, she thought of Draco's cold expression and his voice.

_'I'll meet you later.'_

They _would _see each other and the anticipation grew more and more intense while her mind tossed different thoughts around so quickly that she was stunned that her head wasn't exploding.

She reached her long flutist fingers into her robes and drew out a piece of paper and a quill. She wrote only a few words on it and then, tapped the tip of her wand against it. She let go of the paper as it burned, floating in midair like an enormous firefly. Soon all that was left was a fine drift of ash, sizzling away like a dying flame.

* * *

**I'm so so sorry that it took me such a long time to update, I kind of lost the feeling for the story. Writer's block is awful, I'm telling you. I hope none of you is too mad at me and that the little shag cheered you up a little (;**

**I know that this chapter is much shorter than the previous one but I had to make the cut here, I'm sorry. I hope to make it up to you with the next chapter.**

**Let me know what you think, things are getting messier and darker here now so stay tuned!**

**Thank you so much that you have stuck with me even though I abandoned the story. I love you all!**

**Love,**

**Letmesignxx**


	25. Chapter 25

Three angry pounds on the door echoed like gunfire through the barely lit room. Bits of old food and crumpled clothing layered the frigid floor. The stench of burnt paper still hung heavily in the air, the only remnants of the fire message he had received only a few moments ago. He unclenced his fists. Angry, red skin marked the places that his nails had bitten, unrelenting, into soot smudged palms.

"Didn't you hear what I said?" Rough hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him from a dreamy revere. "Are you even listening to me?"

He snapped his head up, only to be greated with eyes as dark as night. "I was trying to pretend your shrill voice was some sort of buzzing I could simply ignore," he drawled and shrugged his shoulders softly. The female's hands wrapped themselves in her dark hair, yanking through wind-blown knots.

"It's time to show where your _true _loyalty lays." Her voice was almost innocent, painted with joy.

He laughed without any hint of humour. "I'm not going to help you, Pansy."

She stiffened, her face twisted with anguish for just a fraction of a moment before she put on a smile again and patted his head.

"You know what to do then. Do not come into my way."

The door shut almost silently behind her as she departed, a sound which seemed as loud and final as a gunfire inside of his head.

* * *

Hermione snapped her head up when the window in her dormitory suddenly swung open, pushed by a heavy breeze crashing against it which sent dozens of parchments that were covering her desk around her room. With a mumbled curse she jumped to her feet and picked them up one by one before she closed the window, not without glancing up at the cloud-covered sky which barely concealed a full moon. Standing there, she gazed up at the stars and her mind wandered off to think about Lupin, hoping wherever he was that he was alright.

_Be safe, Moony._

Shaking her head to clear her mind, she brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and turned around, her senses just barely picking up on a subtle howl echoing through the Forbidden Forest.

"My mind must have been playing a trick on me," she whispered under her breath and sat back down at her desk, pulling her Arithmancy book back on her lap. Her fingers skimmed over the yellow pages, her eyebrows pulled together as she tried to concentrate on her essay but no matter how hard she tried, the big lump inside of her throat would not leave. She knew that she was behind on homework but despite herself, she didn't actually care. There was nothing she wanted more than to be back with Draco already but her guily conscience had gotten the better of her but ever since she had started to work, there had been no progress at all.

She flicked aside another page with a frustrated grunt.

It was only natural, she thought, that she wanted to spend every waking moment with him but nevertheless she could no longer neglect her duties like she had done the past few weeks.

Her shoulders hunched with defeat when she finally pushed the book away from her and rose to her feet.

_I'll get to this tomorrow._

With quick motions she gathered a few items she planned on taking with her as an unfamiliar sound startled her and made her freeze in her movement.

A sound much like a key being turned slowly came to her attention while she tried to stay as still as possible, inhaling a sharp breath as she focused her eyes on her door.

The knob turned painfully slow and her pulse sped up feverishly.

Her common sense tried to rationalize with her, she knew that she had locked the door and put an enchantment on it so that no one but Draco would be able to enter without her approval.

Fear licked its way at her heart, burning through her pores and with uncooperative limbs she took a step back to snatch her wand from her desk, her fingers blindly groping around for it but without success. Her head spun around to scan her desk, her heartbeat racing faster the more desperate her hands smacked away the books and parchments.

It only took one moment, one second of distraction but it was enough.

The door burst open and the room lit up with a bright red light.

Her scream never left her lips.

* * *

Draco flicked his wand absentmindedly to send another pair of socks into the air, watching them dance and twirl around infront of him with dull interest.

For the twentieth time in ten minutes, he stared at his watch and closed his eyes as he vaguely counted the hours since Hermione had left.

_Where the bloody hell is she?_

As if to answer his thoughts, the door suddenly opened behind him and he turned around with a relieved smirk toying at his lips.

"I thought you wanted to meet me, Draco," Pansy chirped nonchalantly and his smirk died immediately.

"It's late, I figured you were already asleep," he lied and flicked his wand once more, sending his socks to the ground with a low thud.

Closing the door behind her, she shook her head and ran her fingers slowly through her silky hair as she strolled over to him with an innocent grin. Something about it was off though and sent a shiver down his spine, it didn't reach her eyes which stared bluntly at him.

"Draco, Draco, Draco..." she whispered and raised her hand to stroke a long finger casually against his jawline, a strong scent of musk hit his nostrils and clouded his senses for a moment.

"Why couldn't you tell me?" she continued and brushed her thumb seductively across his bottom lip, her eyes staring him down with an intensity that left him unsettled.

"What are you talking about?" he choked out and grabbed her wrist, firmly removing her hand from his face and lowering it to her side.

"Didn't you think? Did you honestly believe that no one would find out? That you could get away with this so easily?"

She grimaced and pulled away from him, rubbing her cheek with the heels of her hands. Draco had a vague idea what she was talking about but he doubted that admitting to it would help the matter so he remained quiet, the silence stretched out between them until Pansy put on a sneer again and gazed into his eyes.

"What do you think your father will say when he will hear about this? That you were sincerely believing it would be alright to mix your blood with that of a Mudblood?" she finally said and all color left Draco's face as he realized what she was talking about, that she really knew.

"That's hardly any of your business," he barked, looking completely stubborn as he jutted his jaw out. "You are not in the position to tell anyone about my relationship with - "

"You call it a relationship? You know, if it would only be a sexual thing, then maybe I would be able to understand, just maybe - "

"Who do you think you are to - "

"I'm your bloody girlfriend," she screeched and stepped forward to close the distance between them again. "I've always loved you and you play with me, made me look like a fucking joke...but I still loved you and...I would have been happy being with you and getting married to you even though you don't love me, just as long as I was with you. But here you are, collecting trophies or doing some other sick - "

"You know nothing," Draco blurted quickly. "I might have been in love with you once but this is long over, Pansy and you bloody well know it. If you truely loved me like you claim to do, you would be fucking happy for me right now instead of giving me the jealous ex-girlfriend-talk."

"Why her though?"

"Listen Pansy, _just leave _- "

"You betrayed all of us!"

"I did - "

"Have you completely forgotten who you are?"

"I've found out who I really am," he said sincerely. "I don't belong - "

"You belong with your family!"

"And you are no part of my family," he disputed firmly.

"I would have been one day. I did everything I could, I went out of my way to please you - "

"But it's too fucking late, Pansy. I don't want to be with you, don't you understand?"

She stepped away from him, shaking her head menacingly as if he had just slapped her. Maybe he had, maybe his words had been too much for her. The damage was already done.

"You are right," she said much to his surprise, "it is indeed too late. For both of you."

A frown stretched over his forehead as he broke their eye contact, running an impatient hand through his hair. "What do you mean?"

"I reckon you come follow me," she said almost soothingly and turned away from him, the door opening to a silent command. "You'll see exactly what I mean."

Draco followed her, but didn't believe he really wanted to know what she meant.

* * *

The blackness surrounded her, all sense and feeling for time was lost.

Time made no sense as she slowly pushed against the thick blackness. Maybe it was because it felt like time had frozen because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape the darkness. She started to worry that she would never be able to flee, but she kept fighting, knowing she had to. He would want her to.

As she lay there, she had a feeling that more time was passing even though she could not remember how long it had been since she had last seen her room. Was it yesterday? Was it just yesterday that she had watched the moonlight fight through the clouds and illuminate her face as she had thought of Lupin?

Today. It had happened today. Now, the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no sky anymore.

She shivered though she could not feel cold, nor warmth.

The blackness stayed with her long before she heard them whispering.

Someone was mentioning her name. It was quiet, muffled by the blackness pressing against her but it was definately her name, though she could not identify the voice behind it. She knew she should probably answer, tell them that there was something wrong with her but her lips would not part, no sound would leave her throat.

She was too lost in a merciless stupor, holding on to the thought of seeing him again.

It was then that she heard the voices again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like several voices were speaking at once, talking over one another, argueing even. She tried to take in a deep breath but her lungs would not cooperate, they no longer answered to her will.

Suddenly, there was another sound, startingly close. A kind of sniffing, a far too intimitate sound. She knew she ought to feel afraid but she didn't; the overwhelming numbness had its claws in her too deep to allow any other feelings.

"But she would make such a nice snack." The voice was deep and unfamiliar, yet it failed to scare her.

She was trying to gather the strength to wake up from this madness when she first saw the light.

It was just a dim glow at first, brightening with each ragged breath the person closest to her drew, and soon the brightness blinded her. She realized that she was able to open her eyes. Also she could feel that she was laying on the ground.

She forced her head up and stared at the dark face that she could see above her. She was vaguely aware that the stranger wasn't a stranger after all, but a face she had seen countless times already, printed on colorful posters.

The man smiled down at her and exposed long and deadly fangs.

"Sleeping Beauty," Fenrir Greyback whispered.

This time, her lungs did cooperate and she screamed.

* * *

"Bloody hell, Parkinson. Hurry up, already."

Draco found it quite bizarre that here he was, standing in front of the Room of Requirements like he so often did while Pansy marched up and down infront of the stone wall, mumbling her wish so quietly that he could not hear it.

The very old, ornated doubledoor appeared and she smiled vindictively at him as she pushed it open and beckoned him to follow her. "Always so impatient."

He shot her a furious glare but entered the room nontheless, his eyes slowly adjusting to the heavy darkness inside. "And what exactly did you wish for? A fucking black room?" He could hardly see anything, not even his own hand as he clumsily reached it out to prevent himself from walking into anything.

"You'll see," she whispered, her voice so close that he was fairly sure she stood right next to him. Her arm wrapped tentatively around his but as she began to walk, she dragged him with such force he was surprised that she was even capable of such thing.

"You are fucking nuts, do you know that? How can you even see where you are going?" He hated how desperate his voice sounded, the last thing he wanted was for her to feel more superior than she already was but he had never been fond of darkness. It scared him.

The fear of darkness was nothing compared to the fear he felt when he heard a familiar voice screaming in agony.

"HERMIONE!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs, wrestling against Pansy's grip to escape her and run toward the sound which painfully ripped through him; a scream that physically hurt him. "What the bloody hell is happening here, is that your - "

"You will listen to me right now," Pansy threatened and jerked him around a corner where a single lantern lit up the scenery infront of him.

Standing the closest to him were Crabbe and Goyle, the similiar sadistic expression painted to both of their faces. Across from him was the werewolf Greyback, hunched over a body he clearly recognized as Hermione. Only a few seconds had passed since Draco had heard her scream but already, her body was no longer moving and lay motionless on the ground.

Finally jerking his arm free, he darted toward her but Goyle raised his arm and bellowed, "Petrificus Totalus."

His arms snapped to his sides and he fell with a loud thud to the floor, all of his body was frozen in place. The only thing he could see was the stone ground beneath him. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up, Crabbe roughly leaned his petrified body against a walk-in cupboard so that he could watch what was happening.

His eyes darted to Hermione's lifeless body and it felt like all air got knocked out of him once more, all strings connecting him to this world had been cut through right there.

_This can't be happening. Please don't be dead, Granger._

"I told you I would show you what I meant and here we are," said Pansy steadily. "Make sure he doesn't fall over," she ordered Crabbe who nodded slowly.

Draco's eyes trailed back toward Hermione and Pansy followed his gaze, a sneer ghosting at her lips. "Greyback thought she would make a nice snack but I told him to wait, don't worry." The taste of bile covered Draco's tongue and he tried to flex his muscles, desperately hoping that sheer will of force would make him move but without sucess.

"I'm sure you are wondering why we are all here," Pansy continued and began to walk in a small circle infront of him, occasionally blocking his view on Hermione and Greyback. "You see, I knew that there was something wrong when I visited you earlier. You acted strange, stranger than usual I mean, and my feeling did not fool me. Once I had left, I hid and can you imagine how surprised I was to see your precious little Mudblood come strolling out of your room just a few moments after I left? I put two and two together and voilà, I had an epiphany. Draco Malfoy himself was with Granger."

Behind him, Crabbe chortled and Draco felt like putting his fist through his skull.

"A masterplan quickly formed inside of my head and I asked a dear friend to help me," she added and waved a hand casually through the air. "Lucky for you, his loyalty was with you instead of me. But that's not so bad, considering that I got Crabbe and Goyle to help me instead. And now, here comes the interesting part for you." His attention slipped for a moment as he saw how Hermione's body moved ever so lightly but it was enough for him to feel the joy of relief rush through his unmoving veins.

"I'm surprised that you never realized it. And lucky for me, you were foolish enough to tell me about your plans with the Vanishing Cabinets all those months ago. Well, you know...you actually did it. You fixed it."

Her words hung in the air like a heavy stench and Draco's gaze flickered back to her.

_'What?'_ he wanted to ask but no sound left his throat.

"Why yes, I kept track on you and your progress. I think you were too busy shagging the Mudblood to waste another hour in here. If you had spared just one moment of your precious time, just one, you would have known that you had been successful in doing it. Tut tut, that's just too bad for you. But all the more great for me." Pansy's face changed, all that girly demeanor had left as if she had aged a good ten years and she oddly reminded him of his aunt, of a woman who was capable of doing any cruel act she could think of.

"So yes, I realized that you had fixed it and it came quite in handy now, didn't it? So I could contact our dear friend Greyback and order him to come and here he is, doing what should have been done months or years ago already...confronting Hermione Granger with her rightful fate."

Pansy stopped infront of him and Draco tried to lay all of his emotions into his eyes, all the things he could not say out loud.

_Please, don't do this. She has nothing to do with any of this. Please, spare her. Kill me instead._

"I know what you want to say," she mumbled and stared directly into his eyes. "You want me to leave her alone, you will hurt me if I hurt her and so on and so on. The thing is though...I don't really care anymore what you have to say. You disrespected your family and the Dark Lord. So you can consider this as your own fault, I'm sure it will work miracles on your guilty conscience."

She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his cheek before she turned around and snapped her fingers at Greyback. "You take her, we are leaving now. Goyle, you'll take care of our dear friend and then follow us immediately." The werewolf leaned down and almost carefully picked Hermione up before he turned around and faced the Vanishing Cabinet that Draco had not seen before. Both Crabbe and Pansy followed him but with one foot inside already, Pansy paused and turned around to Draco once more.

"I really wish it wouldn't have to be this way, Draco." And with that she stepped inside and Goyle appeared infront of Draco's eyes, his fist connecting with his nose.

* * *

_Perhaps there was no sky anymore._

Draco cowered on the cold floor and tried to blend out his thoughts; as soon as his concentration would slip for a second he saw the bloody maelstrom again, the lifeless body of Hermoine and the sharp fangs of Fenrir Greyback which might be sinking into her body at this very moment.

He knew that he would see those pictures for another hundred times, if not a thousand times, in his sleep - every time the scene replayed itself infront of his inner eye, the few minutes stretched out to hours and every breath slowed down to an unbearing infinity. He could see everything painfully clear, from his first step into the darkness to Greyback hovering over Hermione to the point of them leaving through the Cabinet. He knew that Hermione had been alive still, he had seen her move and he remembered the way he had felt. But this realization was almost worse than thinking she was dead because he believed that whatever was happening now, it would be worse than a thousand deaths.

Draco had the suspicion that life and fate was enjoying it thoroughly to take away the few people he loved.

He knew that Pansy was right, he knew that this was entirely his fault. If only he would have reacted earlier, nothing would have happened to her. If only he would have never let her leave him in the first place.

He would have to carry this guilt with him for the rest of his life, whatever that would mean.

"Malfoy?" Someone asked with disbelief in his voice and Draco tried to jerk his head around but his muscles were still not answering to him.

_Why, from all the people in this god forsaken place, does it have to be Potter who finds me?_

He could feel how the curse was lifted off of him and he tried to get up almost immediately but his muscles were sore and ached from the beating his body had taken that he was only capable of whimpering in pain.

Harry snuck his arms under his shoulders and helped him sit up, his green eyes scanning his face with a curious expression. "What the bloody hell happened to you, Malfoy? Where's Hermione?"

"Granger," Malfoy groaned and stared up at him, forcing his hand up he grabbed the Gryffindor boy's shirt and pulled him down to face him. "They've...got Granger."

"What?" inquired Harry and stared at him, making no move to escape Draco's grip. "What's wrong with Hermione? Who got her?"

"Death-Eaters," Malfoy breathed out before the darkness lulled him back in.

He almost welcomed the pain with gratitude.

* * *

Gentle hands touched his broken nose and Draco groaned in pain, his eyelids fluttering open to see a wand directly pointed at him.

"Hold still," Harry ordered and mumbled a spell; Draco felt his bone jump back into place and his hands shot up to cover his nose as he doubled over in pain.

"Tell me, how did you even find me?" Draco whispered through his hands.

Harry peeked at him over the edge of his glasses and fished a piece of parchment out of his pockets. "Your friend Zabini sent me this. Told me that you and Hermione needed my help in here so I came. Not for your sake, of course," he added as an afterthought but Draco ignored the hit.

"Pansy must have wanted his help but he rejected her..." Draco mumbled to himself and, after seeing Harry's confused expression he began telling him what had happened since he and Hermione had come back from the Muggle World.

After a few moments of silence, Harry pushed his hair out of his forehead and sighed in defeat. "Where do you think did they bring her?"

"I have no fucking clue," Draco said numbly.

Harry sat back on the cold ground and twirled his wand between his hands, his eyes fixed on Draco's face. "We'll find her. She'll be fine, I know it."

"Aw yeah? Did you suddenly become a seer?" His voice sounded cold and sharp and even though he knew that his words had offended Harry, the dark-haired boy smiled lightly.

"It's important to believe that she will be alright. It will help her pull through if only we believe."

Potter was wrong - it hurt to believe. And because of that he rose to his feet, trying to fight the upcoming nausea. "I have to find her now."

"I'm going with you," Harry declared immediately and got up too, his hand casually reached out to catch Draco in case he would fall over.

"I don't need your help."

"Is that so? Two are better than one. You know it."

Draco's breath was hoarse, even though he tried his hardest to stay calm. He needed a clear head for this. "She might be dead already, I don't know. She probably is, she died the moment she fell in love with me. I settled her fate."

He had said it out loud and now his words echoed from the unyielding walls of the room. He turned away, covering his face with his hands but he could not hide behind the truth of his words.

"The only reason they went after her is because of me. Because I love her and she loves me. What has gotten into her? How could she just fall in love with me?" Draco asked and twirled around again as he felt the helpless anger crash over him like a deadly tidal wave.

"If it helps you any, I don't know how she could fall in love with you either. I hope she can tell me soon, that's why we have to get going now," Harry reasoned and left him to walk over to the Vanishing Cabinet. "They left through this, you say?"

Draco nodded absentmindedly and allowed himself a few seconds of selfishness; he turned around and drew in one sharp breath after another to try and cover up the enormous painful hole inside of his chest. When nothing helped to ease the pain he turned around and stood by Harry, examining the Cabinet with his hands.

"Do you think we can track them?"

Harry shrugged lightly. "I'm not sure, I'm not really familiar with the way they work. We might get lucky if you have to use a wand to activate them, I might have an idea - "

"You do need a wand," Draco threw in immediately and opened the Cabinet, peeking inside warily. "The spell you use is called 'Harmonia Nectere Passus.'

Harry's eyes widened and he looked at him with surprise. "How do you - you know, never mind. Well, I think we can find out where they were heading to by using _Priori Incantatem_, that should tell us the location." While he talked, he opened the Cabinet further and stepped inside, holding out his hand. "You ready?"

It was strange to see himself work with Potter, to establish the thought of the two of them fighting together. All those years they had been rivals, always trying to trump one another but here they were, as if none of that ever happened. They were connected by their wish to protect Hermione.

_Hermione._

"I'm coming," Draco murmured and followed Harry inside the Cabinet, closing the door behind himself with one final thud.

* * *

**I am incredibly sorry that I haven't updated this earlier. I wasn't so sure if anyone would still be interested in the story since I haven't been updating regularly but I just got a lovely message on my tumblr asking if I was going to update any time soon and this is where it hit me. I owe you guys the end of the story. So I hope you aren't all that mad at me and that you still enjoy the story (:**

**Please read and review, feedback is always appreciated.**

**Love,**

**Letmesignxx**


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